13 Signs Your Relationship Is In Trouble And What To Do About It


signs your relationship is in trouble, signs your marriage is in trouble

You know that sagging, awful feeling in the pit of your gut that things “aren’t quite right” with your relationship? That’s what I want to talk about today.

Here are 13 signs your relationship is in trouble and in desperate need of repair before it’s too late:

1. Communication has fallen apart and/or gotten really boring.

Or your communication been limited to boring exchanges about mundane topics. Even spirited arguments have given way too.

2. Spending time together has stopped being a priority.

Time for each other feels like it has become an afterthought.

3. One or both of you have gotten a “work girl/boyfriend”

Making friends at work doesn’t automatically mean that you or they are cheating, but the transfer of emotional intimacy from to someone outside your relationship can be really bad for your bond.

Sometimes emotional infidelity slowly happens a bit-by-bit over time and crosses over into a full blown affair one day when it started off as an innocent friendship. Since as a society, we spend so much time at work, we often objectively spend more time with our co-workers than our partner. This can create lots of problems if left unchecked.

4. Your sex life sucks.

One or both of you is constantly too busy, too tired or too “not in the mood” to hit the sheets.

5. You repeatedly try to “talk about it” but nothing seems to improve.

Ever had those conversations where you go around and around with your partner but things only get better for a little while or nothing ever changes? Me too.

6. You analyze your relationship with your friends and/or family constantly but never seem to gain clarity.

Usually our people have a pretty good idea of how things are going— even if we don’t share the nitty gritty details. Sometimes friends and family will start to distance themselves from you because all you seem to want to do is talk about your relationship.

7. You suspect that they are cheating.

Whether they are or not, the fear that they’re having an affair has started to plague your thoughts.

8. “It’s not the same” pretty much sums up everything between the two of you.

9. One or both of you suspect your person doesn’t care anymore.

Now, whether or not this is actually true is not the real sign your relationship is in trouble.

It’s the sense of not feeling cared for that is most telling and points toward problems with your relationship.

10. You dream of things being the way they used to be.

You know that feeling where you wish you could rewind things back to the way it used to be before you had the sinking pain deep in your gut?

11. You feel hopeless since it feels like you have tried everything.

Sometimes you’re trying too hard— other times the real problem is that you happen to be the only one actually trying to have a better relationship.

12. You’re seriously considering breaking up.

The internal “I know I can end this” pep talk starts— so does your mental tally of how exactly to move your overstuffed sofa and who gets the dog. You start considering whether you should “put up with this” any longer.

13. Any discussions about the future or deeper commitment are shut down.

“Concert next month? I sure don’t know… that’s a long time from now.”

“Marriage?? I’m not sure I EVER want to get married.”

So.. what do you do if you are noticing these signs your relationship is in trouble?

First, do not panic.

Obviously all of these signs that things are not well between you don’t feel good. However, the things on this list DO NOT mean that things are over or that your partner is walking out on you this afternoon. Even if they are actively packing their bags, you must NOT succumb to fear.

Assuming they are leaving you when they’ve pulled away is frankly a sure way to psyche yourself out and put your love straight into the toilet. It’s still possible to repair things at this point, but it takes focus, strategy and effort. Not you sprinting around doing your best Chicken Little impression. Relationship insecurity panic (even when your relationship is really at risk) feels low value and desperate.

Also, panic and nervous energy about losing them will push them away even further.

Next, decide what you really want.

If you’re on the fence about whether or not you should break up with them or not, they can sense it. If you want to be with them, you have to make your decision and stick with it.

I’m not saying that you should ignore it if they treat you poorly— not at all. But I am saying that you need to and make your OWN decision to stay or go. It’s really difficult to truly repair a relationship without knowing for certain that you actually want to be with the person you are in a relationship with.

… And make your own changes.

You have zero control over anyone else, so that’s why I’m addressing you.

Your partner may or may not want things to change, but one person committing to changing their energy can usually turn things around.

Usually when your relationship is sinking like this, one or both of you have lost yourselves. Fixing, worrying about, patching up and analyzing the relationship has taken center stage in your life and has crowded out your outside goals and passions. That’s why it’s so difficult NOT to be hyper-focused on “how it’s going.” It’s all you’ve got going on!

That’s why you’ve GOT to go out and get excited about your life again. If you were never excited about your life to begin with, it’s a great time to start.

I know you can do it!

If you’re like most women, this story will sound painfully familiar to you.

At first things are going great with a guy… there are the tantalizing calls and texts, flirty Facebook messages, and maybe things even get a little intimate…

Then it happens…

It seems like suddenly something snaps in him, and he starts to withdraw… then out of nowhere he just completely loses interest in you.

Your texts and calls start to go unanswered and soon he just disappears out of your life.

To make things worse, it’s usually not an isolated incident. If it happens once, it’s most likely going to continue to happen.

That was the exact story my relationship consultant friend James heard at a lunch meeting with a client a while ago. It was during that same lunch that James discovered an answer to perhaps the biggest piece in the dating and relationship puzzle…

This video exposes a “gap” in the male mind, and how it’s destroying happy relationships everywhere.

The shocking thing about “The Gap” is how subtly it can destroy otherwise healthy relationships.

Watch this video to learn how you can bridge “The Gap” and repair your bond, starting right now.

Elizabeth Stone

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is a bestselling author, head love coach and founder of Attract The One.

Through her coaching, writing and online programs she has helped thousands of women reunite with their men and create amazing, soul-level connections. She is thrilled to have helped so many couples reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has gone viral on Your Tango and Thought Catalog as well as been featured on EHarmony Blog, Mogul, The Good Men Project, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.

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