Brad Browning here. I’m sure most of you guys already know this but I’m a relationship and breakup coach from Canada. Today I’m going to share three helpful tips to rebuild your marriage with your spouse.
Before I get started, I want to quickly say that no marriage is perfect.
Even if it feels like your relationship with your spouse is crumbling, you can still single-handedly save it.
If you want to know what your chances are and how likely it is that you’ll be able to save your marriage, pop on over to my website.
Let’s get into the important stuff.
1. Understand that rebuilding your relationship starts with you.
The first and perhaps the most important thing to know is that rebuilding the relationship with your spouse starts with you.
I know this sounds cliché but it is true. Since there are likely a lot of issues that are going on between you and your spouse, recognizing how you personally negatively contribute to the relationship is a crucial first step.
Once you do that, then you can work on yourself and become basically the best version of you possible so that you are a positive asset to the marriage.
To do this, ask yourself where the problems really lie in your relationship or what things that you might have done that have caused arguments or pushed your spouse away.
For example, maybe you have a pessimistic streak that comes out far too often or maybe you nag your spouse about all the little things around the house.
Whatever it is, pinpoint some of those problems that you cause or at least contribute to and make an effort to work on them. Once your spouse sees that you’re working on yourself and the marriage – he or she is going to be a lot more inclined to actually work together with you to rebuild the relationship.
2. Avoid setting high expectations for your spouse.
The next thing you’re going to want to do is avoid setting high expectations. I know this can be hard especially when your imagination gets the best of you. But if you do want to work on saving your relationship, then it’s really important not to set unrealistic expectations of your spouse.
In other words, basically don’t expect him or her to be someone they’re not or do more than it’s reasonable to ask.
You may love the idea of your spouse getting involved in some of the things that you like to do, some of your hobbies or stepping up their romantic game or whatever it is, but again, you can’t expect your husband or wife to change overnight, right? You can’t expect them to become someone they’re not.
One of the most important things when it comes to rebuilding the relationship with your spouse is to avoid setting the bar too high. When you create unrealistic expectations, that’s only going to ever lead to disappointment, which actually really brings me to my next point, which is basically asking your spouse to change.
There are two problems with asking your spouse to change.
First, if your spouse does change, it will not be a genuine change because it wasn’t their idea in the first place. They weren’t really motivated to do this. It’s because you have asked.
When that happens, the changes probably will not be permanent. Before you know it, you are going to end up right back where you started.
The second problem is that asking your spouse to change is probably going to lead to some resentment on their part. People in general just really hate it when change is imposed upon them or pressured on them.
Asking your spouse to do so is not going to help the situation even if things on the surface seemed to improve at first, unless your spouse is changing for themselves and on their own accord, then it’s not going to do any good for your marriage over the long term.
Instead of directly asking for change, visit my website and watch the free presentation there. I present more helpful solutions about how you can start rebuilding your relationship immediately.
3. Respect your spouse’s space.
The last point and one of the most important is to respect your spouse’s space.
At this point it may be hard not to smother your husband or your wife or to beg for their attention. That is especially true if you feel like things are slipping away between the two of you. As much as pursuing them may seem like a good way to reconnect with your spouse, it’s definitely not the right way to go about things.
Instead, it’s really crucial that at this point you give your spouse lots of time and space. When you do that, they are going to have the chance to reflect on the relationship and you are going to ensure you don’t make matters worse.
It’s even better if you are busy working on yourself and doing what you can to make positive changes— then your husband or your wife is going to start to see the person that they first fell in love with back when you first met and started dating.
When that happens, it’s often enough to entice him or her to work on rebuilding the relationship along with you and get them to buy in, which in the long run could be what saves your marriage.
OK. There you go. That’s 3 things you can do to rebuild your relationship. I’m going to keep this short and leave it there. Hopefully, you’ve learned something.