Have you been involved in a relationship long enough to start wondering when/if he’s going to say the “L” word?
Have you had late night phone calls to your girlfriends where you ask them endlessly “does he really love me?”
Maybe you have tried dropping little hints or suggestions to get him to tell you he loves you, but the truth is that he won’t unless he is really ready.
On the other hand, when he IS ready, he will start to drop some very important clues to test the L word waters with you.
Here are some of those signs he loves you.
You don’t need all of these signs a man loves you to know for certain if he loves you or not because every man is different, but if he hits a few on this list consider yourself lucky.
1. He communicates with you frequently.
When a man loves a woman, he can’t get enough of her. When he’s not spending time seeing her, he will be texting, calling, emailing, doing anything else he can do to keep in touch and make her a part of his life.
A man who is falling in love will want to know how your day was.
He will over share.
He will begin to mention future activities he would like to do with you, and make plans for events stretching into the future.
2. He tells you intimate, vulnerable things.
Although many men have a difficult time opening up about serious experiences, issues and memories, a man who loves you will feel comfortable and feel safe enough to reach this vulnerable position with you.
If this happens on the first date, this is not love, just weird oversharing. If this kind of sharing and opening up begins to happen three to six months into the relationship, then he is definitely falling in love with you.
Examples of intimate things he may share with you will be details of his divorce or other painful breakups in his life, stories about his family and childhood, his life goals and dreams.
If he talks about his mother specifically, and more than once or twice, he it might not be that he has mommy issues, he could be subconsciously letting you know that he wants to marry someone like her, and you might be it.
3. He takes risks with you.
The men that love their women are the ones on the dance floor with them who would never agree to dance in the past (in public?? THE HORROR).
Smitten men will also express sudden excitement over other things like sky diving, cake decorating classes, and trips to the library. What these activities have in common is that he has never considered them before, but is now 100% bought into doing them with you.
Taking risks is identified by anything he does that is out of his comfort zone. If he’s said yes to going to the ballet on Christmas Eve, he is starting to feel some strong feelings for you.
Enjoy this while it lasts, since after he gets comfortable in the relationship, he’ll probably stop agreeing to do whatever you want at the drop of a hat.
4. He treats you like you walk on water.
When a man falls in love, he wants to treat her like a queen.
If it seems like you can do nothing wrong and he is going out of his way with gestures to protect you, keep you safe and free from the mud puddles of the world, he is falling in love with you and using gallant actions to display these tender feelings for you.
…And, if you WANT to make him to fall in love with you– you must LET HIM treat you this way.
Enjoy it, say thank you and encourage his kind, chivalrous behavior toward you.
Don’t grunt at him and say “I can open that door MYSELF.”
Often these chivalrous, protective instincts show up before a man even realizes he has such strong feelings for you. If you throw water on the spark at this point, you can discourage him from pursuing you without even realizing it.
5. He starts using the “L” word frequently in random conversation.
When a man is ready to share his love, he will start using the word. In most cases he will not say the word TO you directly, the way you may be hoping he will. But he will start to love everything else. He will start signing emails “Love,” or start slipping it into conversation.
“I would love to see you again.”
“I love chili fries too!” or, if he is feeling more daring…
“I love doing stuff with you!”
If you start hearing this word randomly crop up, the “L” word in exactly the way you want to hear it is on its way to you.
6. He actually says the three little words.
This may sound obvious but many women don’t believe it when they finally hear the words, but this is the truth.
Men don’t often casually throw out I love you’s. Beware if he says this way too soon, it is a red flag for someone who is seriously unbalanced.
However, if a man says he loves you at the 3-6 month mark, take it at face value. Especially if he acts nervous and acting strange when he spits it out.
The Bottom Line – Does He Love You?
When it comes to figuring out whether or not a man really loves you, the keep the phrase “actions speak louder than words” in mind.
A man may compliment you about how great you are, but if he disappears for long periods of time and doesn’t communicate clearly, this is something to keep an eye on.
In a nutshell, you will know a man he loves you by the way he speaks and behaves in your presence, as well as when you’re not around.
In most cases, even though we might wonder “does he love me?” we know in our heart of hearts whether he truly does. Often we have this tendency to second-guess other people’s feelings and intentions toward us– especially if we have been hurt in the past.
These are just some clues to how he feels. Letting him get there at his own pace and timing will strengthen that love to the point where you’ll never question it again.