Expressing your frustrations, hopes, fears and joys with your friends is a normal and natural part of life.
However, your friendships can seriously undermine and hurt your relationships. It’s important to find a balance between normal and going overboard when both spending time with your friends and discussing your relationship with them.
These small changes will help ensure that your relationship comes first without injuring your friendships with your girls.
1. Quit Sharing Everything With Your People
Some things are better left unsaid, particularly about your relationship. Keep in mind that your best friend isn’t the one in love with your guy, but she does love you, and if she doesn’t suck, feels protective of you. After all, your best friend’s WHOLE JOB in relationship to you is to look out for your best interest.
2. Present A Well-Rounded Perspective
If you find yourself only complaining about your partner and sharing the downs of your love life, cut it out. Long after you’ve forgotten that dumb argument you had with your guy, your best friend will remember. Particularly if she decided he was a jerk over the whole thing.
Remember that whatever you share about your relationship is just a snippet of your real life together. You’re not as likely to share the sweet way he made your coffee this morning or the fact that he goes out of his way to take your dog out rain or shine. But those things are part of why the relationship works, and when you share those too, it makes it obvious why you’re with him– even though you two had that tear-down, drag-out argument last Saturday night.
3. Put Your Friends Second- Within Reason
Yes, your friends were likely there long before your partner. However, if you’re going to have a lasting, meaningful relationship, you can’t put your guy second for long. Keep in mind that friendships will fade in and out of your life and don’t usually involve careful tending the same way a love relationship will.
4. Show Your Loyalty
I’ve heard more than one guy gripe about how his girlfriend shared too many details of EVERYTHING involving him to her friends. Your sex life, minor problems and really any negative part of your life should be kept to yourself. If you have an issue with your guy, you should be discussing it with him and only him.
Present an air of solidarity to the world. Don’t throw him under the bus in front of other people. You wouldn’t want him sharing your deepest, darkest secrets with the world, would you? Or going out of his way to embarrass you? I imagine not. So don’t do it to him.
One of the most important things to men is respect. Don’t disrespect or undermine him to your friends or family by over sharing.