If you’re in a marriage that you want to save but your husband is ready to call it quits, you aren’t alone.
Today, I want to share what to do when your husband wants a divorce. These six tips will help you prevent your husband from leaving you.
I’m Brad Browning, a relationship coach and marriage expert. You may already be familiar with my YouTube videos or perhaps you’ve heard about my bestselling Mend The Marriage Program.
Let’s get started on what to do when your husband wants a divorce.
Just before a couple separates, one partner usually reaches the point of being completely fed up.
They don’t want to talk about things or even try to work it out.
For them, the marriage is over.
For you though, your world is falling apart and you don’t even know how to begin handling your emotions.
This is the point where trouble begins.
As you fight to salvage the pieces of your marriage and convince your husband to stay, you’re often doing more harm than good.
It’s human nature to pursue what you need and want but sometimes when emotions are running high, you really need to do the opposite of what your instincts are telling you in order to get what you need.
It’s important to realize that it took time for your marriage to break down and that your husband is feeling hopeless and exhausted about the relationship right now.
Something has probably pushed him over the edge and that’s why he has decided that your marriage is over.
This is where these six tips for what to do when your husband wants a divorce come into play.
Now, there are no guarantees and you can’t completely control your husband’s decisions but I have seen amazing things happen when one person in the marriage begins making the changes I’m about to talk about.
But before I jump into these, I’d like to quickly say that if you want to learn about saving your marriage, please consider watching my free full length video presentation here.
1. The worst thing you can do in your situation is beg your husband to stay
As genuine as it may be, crying and pleading for your husband to give your marriage another chance will not change his mind.
That’s because he is already past the point of believing change is even possible.
Instead, your desperation will have no impact on him but it will make you appear pathetic and needy.
Neither of those are appealing traits and they aren’t likely to work in your favor.
If you’ve already begged and pleaded with your husband not to leave your marriage, don’t worry.
We can still make things better as long as you don’t continue to act this way.
2. Keep things as simple as possible
Don’t prod for his motives or you’ll lose his respect.
Pressuring him to reconsider his decision will only make him more determined to end things with you.
Instead, let your husband know that you want to work on the marriage and that you’re willing to do what you can to make it more satisfying.
You may not get him back right now— right away— but it will help him become more trusting and maybe even get him to start talking with you regularly again.
3. He has to enjoy talking with you and want to be with you
He has to enjoy being with you before we can consider trying to make your relationship work.
You can begin by talking about things that aren’t related to the divorce or your marriage and just find small things to agree on.
If you have kids, that could be a good topic to start with but there are many others as well.
Just keep in mind that as this stage, you’re not trying to get him to reconsider the divorce. You’re just trying to have some pleasant, positive contact.
The initial connecting can be the most difficult part but hang in there.
Don’t do things or act in a way that’s going to make the situation worse.
I know that sounds simple but what I mean is actually a quite bit more complicated.
Basically, you have to understand the role that you’ve played in the problems that your marriage is facing.
For example, if you’ve been complaining a lot, stop. If you’ve been moody, stop.
If you’ve been lying to your husband or hiding things from him, stop doing that as well.
If you want to save your marriage, it’s important that you focus only on how you are contributing to the decline.
Now is not the time to play the blame game.
While your partner may be done with trying to work on your marriage, now is your chance to start fixing your flaws that pushed him away to begin with.
4. Your husband needs hope and evidence that your marriage can and will change for the better
Ask yourself, “What has my husband been asking for from me?”
Start doing some of those things without pointing it out that you’re making the effort to change.
Overall, a good attitude is essential.
Now, if you’re confused about a particular aspect of your marriage and you need personalized guidance, then I’m here to help.
Just head over to my website and watch my presentation where I explain more about what to do when your husband wants a divorce.
5. Don’t suffocate your spouse with affectionate texts, phone calls, or emails
Instead, try showing that you care about being more considerate.
Listen to your husband and learn to communicate in a healthier way.
You could show this by using active listening skills such as learning to paraphrase what he says.
By doing this, you’ll not only be sending the message that you hear what he’s saying and you’re taking into consideration what he wants, but also, that you’re interested in his thoughts and his opinions.
Take this time also to lean on friends and family members.
Their support will give you an outlet to rant and it will help you avoid directing any bottled up emotions towards your husband.
6. Be patient and give your husband time to heal
If you’ve gotten to this point in your marriage, chances are that it has been rocky for some time now.
Your husband needs to see that you’re determined to change and that the changes will be permanent.
Trying to fix things quickly will actually postpone repair on your marriage.
It will take time to convince him that there’s hope for your relationship but if you do work hard and you’re committed to saving your marriage, I promise you, it is possible.
Patience is definitely a necessary attribute in your current position.
If you have any more questions or you want to find out more about what to do when your husband wants a divorce, please visit my website and watch the free video presentation on there.
