I’ve been an online dating fan since the very beginning.
At the risk of dating myself (ha), I made my first profile back in 2000.
I was a curious early tech adopter who loved the idea of meeting someone from the comfort of my own home, probably while sitting around in my underwear.
And it worked.
I met my partner on Plenty of Fish over nine years ago, and I’ve stayed mostly optimistic about online dating apps ever since.
But lately? I’m hearing more and more people completely swearing them off.
Five years ago, my coaching clients were still willing to grit their teeth and give dating apps another try.
These days, they’re canceling altogether and giving up. I get it.
For many people, dating apps have been around for most of their adult lives.
Dating apps are no longer exciting or novel— they’re exhausting and dehumanizing. Swiping feels more like work than possibility.
So I finally decided (yes, a bit late) to put together a clear, useful guide to how to meet someone organically, offline.
The goal here isn’t to push you into doing things you don’t want to do or overwhelm you with pressure.
We all have enough going on without turning meeting someone into a full-time performance.
Instead, this list is full of real-world places where it’s easiest to make a lasting connection.
Choose what you could see yourself repeating, because your effort showing up somewhere often compounds over time as more people get to know you.
Successfully meeting someone is not usually about making a big exhausting effort for a few weeks, then withdrawing into disappointment for months afterward.
You’ll benefit most from taking lots of small steps over time.
Here goes:
1. Start with everyday life and casual encounters
You don’t have to change your whole routine. Just stay open in the places you already go.
A quick moment at the gym, in the grocery line, at the dog park, or while browsing in a bookstore can turn into something if you’re willing to make eye contact and say something real.
People in these spots are usually in a decent mood and not rushing off, which makes it easier to start a light conversation.
You don’t need a perfect opening line. A simple question or casual comment is often enough.
Connection can happen anywhere when you’re present and not in a hurry to move on.
2. Chat in everyday lines
Waiting in line might feel boring, but it’s actually a great chance to say something casual to the person next to you.
You’re both stuck there for a minute anyway, so why not?
I once met a wonderful new client in the security line at the airport because he said hello and struck up a friendly conversation with me.
Interestingly enough, I was only in that particular line because of an airline mixup, so the fact that my vibe stayed high and I was open to a new connection paid off.
3. Keep a consistent routine
Going to the same gym class, coffee shop, or co-working space regularly makes you a familiar face.
Consistency creates comfort— for you and for the people around you. It makes starting a conversation feel way more natural over time.
4. Visit parks where people work or hang out solo
Parks with walking paths, bonus Wi-Fi, or shaded picnic tables are great for casual connection— especially when the weather’s nice.
People there are often relaxed, unhurried, and open to a quick chat. It’s an easy place to start a casual, easy conversation without it feeling like a big deal.
5. Use public transportation more intentionally
It might not seem like the most obvious place, but buses, trains, and even rideshares put you close to people you wouldn’t meet otherwise.
A quick comment or shared moment can lead to something if you’re paying attention. You never know who’s sitting next to you.
If you live in a place where everyone will think you’re a serial killer if you talk to people on public transport, use your best judgement with this suggestion.
After college, I lived in London for a while and noticed how the natives didn’t always love my smiley American eye contact.
6. Go where people hang out
Places where people naturally slow down— like outdoor plazas, hotel lobbies, or bookstores with cafés— make it easier to strike up a conversation.
When no one’s rushing off, there’s more space for a real moment.
Sometimes just being in the right place long enough for one of you to work up the courage to say hello makes all the difference.
7. Become a regular at a local café
When you keep showing up to the same café, familiar faces start to pop up—and that makes it easier to say hi or start a casual chat.
This way you’re not trying too hard, just giving connection a place to grow. A little consistency with your routine goes a long way towards lowering the pressure.
8. Go where your interests already take you
Meeting someone is so much easier when you’re already doing something you like.
Lectures, workshops, book readings—anywhere you’d go to because you’re genuinely interested— are great places to meet someone.
You’re already surrounded by people who care about the same things, which makes starting a conversation feel more natural. It’s an easy way to connect without forcing anything.
9. Say yes to social invitations and shared circles
Let your existing connections help you meet someone new.
Whether it’s a friend’s birthday, a casual dinner, or a plus-one invite to a last minute event, these kinds of casual gatherings are often where real connections spark.
Just showing up puts you in the right place for something unexpected to happen.
10. Accept party and dinner invites
Weddings, house parties, and casual dinners are great for meeting someone new. This is especially true when there’s a mix of people you don’t already know.
You’re in a relaxed setting with mutual connections, which makes starting a conversation feel easy and natural.
11. Ask friends to set you up
Let your friends (and family if you’re brave) know you’re open to meeting someone. They might already have someone in mind.
People who care about you often have a good sense of who you’d click with. Most people love the chance to play matchmaker.
12. Host a small gathering
Have a few friends over and ask each of them to bring a single friend you haven’t met.
Hosting and letting other people bring single friends is one of the easiest ways to meet people without feeling like you’re “trying to meet people.”
This keeps things relaxed but still opens the door to new connections.
13. Attend alumni gatherings (even if you didn’t love school)
You don’t have to be the biggest fan of your alma mater to show up.
Alumni events bring together people with shared history, which makes breaking the ice a lot easier.
You might be surprised who you reconnect with— or who you meet for the first time.
14. Join a local facebook or meetup group and actually attend
Groups on Facebook and Meetup.com aren’t just for scrolling— they often host real-life gatherings around shared interests.
Whether it’s a hobby group, a women’s circle, or something oddly specific, these meetups are a low-pressure way to meet people you already have something in common with.
Showing up regularly helps conversations and connections happen more naturally.
15. Join a social hobby group
Hiking clubs, dance classes, improv groups, or co-ed sports leagues are a fun, low-pressure way to meet new people.
You’re already there to have a good time, so connection happens more naturally.
Plus, showing up regularly gives you a chance to build a connection without it feeling forced or time pressured.
16. Join a private club or members-only space
Private clubs aren’t just for golf and cocktails anymore.
From social clubs and co-working spaces to wine memberships and creative collectives, these places attract people who value connection, conversation, and community.
Joining local supper clubs, rooftop workspaces, and members-only wellness spaces like exclusive gyms and sports centers give you a built-in network of interesting people to meet with less pressure.
17. Take an adult college extension course or hands-on class
Whether it’s pottery, painting, cooking, a language course, or something random you’ve always wanted to try, classes make it easy to meet people.
You’re doing something side by side, which takes the pressure off and gives you something to talk about right away.
You can warm up to people slowly and start accepting invitations to hang out before and after class.
18. Join a local or destination book club
Book clubs naturally spark thoughtful conversation and give people a chance to share more than just small talk.
Whether it’s local or part of a travel experience, it’s a great setting to connect emotionally and intellectually.
The bonus about meeting somewhere intellectual like a book club is that you get to see how someone thinks and decide if you like them a bit before you approach them for a deeper connection.
19. Spend time at public library or indie bookstore events
Libraries and indie bookstores often host events like film nights, author talks, or writing workshops that attract people who love learning and creative conversation.
These are relaxed settings where connection feels easy and unforced. Plus, you already have something in common just by showing up.
20. Go to a public lecture or author Q&A
Lectures and Q&A events attract people who are curious, thoughtful, and open to new ideas.
It’s easy to start a conversation afterward, especially if something stood out to both of you. You already have a shared experience to talk about, which makes connection feel easy and natural.
21. Show up to live music nights
Smaller music spots like open mics, jazz nights, or acoustic sets make it easy to connect without the noise and chaos of a packed club or full on concert.
The vibe is more relaxed, and people are usually there to enjoy the moment. It’s the kind of place where a quick comment can turn into a real conversation.
22. Explore faith-based social groups (without pressure)
Churches, temples, or spiritual communities often host small groups, volunteer projects, or social events that are open to newcomers.
You don’t have to be all-in on the belief system to connect with thoughtful, grounded people. It’s more about showing up, being open, and seeing who you meet.
23. Become a regular at a local farmer’s market or event
Farmer’s markets, flea markets, and local art fairs are great for casual connection.
When you go often, you start to notice familiar faces, and they start to notice you.
It’s an easy way to feel more connected to your community and start up conversations that don’t feel forced.
24. Visit street fairs and festivals
Seasonal fairs, food truck nights, neighborhood block parties, and art walks are full of energy and new people.
Everyone’s there to have a good time, which makes it easier to strike up a conversation.
Being out in the world enjoying yourself makes you more approachable.
A good way to find a calendar of street fairs and festivals is inside the Reddit.com subreddit for your city.
When I moved to Phoenix a few years ago, the frequently updated local events calendar pinned to the front page was a lifesaver.
The local library is another way to find out about festivals and street fairs. Many have a regularly updated community bulletin board with civic events.
25. Go to an art opening or gallery night
For years, I’ve gone to my mom’s art openings and spent hours in galleries of all shapes and sizes.
The secret to meeting people and keeping things interesting is to slowly circulate around the room like a sleepy shark.
Don’t plant yourself in one spot for too long. Take your time. Stand and look at a piece for a bit, then go grab a drink, then wander somewhere new.
Stand near someone who looks interesting. Take slow laps around the room like your only job is to look at the art.
Art naturally sparks conversation, so you have lots of options for things to say.
You don’t have to be an art expert or even very familiar with what you’re looking at. Don’t think you need to know anything. People who know about the art usually love sharing, and those who don’t are easy to laugh with.
26. Attend a themed dinner, tasting, or chef’s table event
Food brings people together, and these kinds of events are set up to make conversation easy. You can bring a friend or go solo.
Either way, sitting next to strangers at a shared table feels less awkward when everyone’s enjoying the same experience. This kind of event is a great mix of cozy, social, and memorable.
27. Attend a live podcast recording or community panel
These events draw people who care about the topic and want to connect around it.
There’s usually a relaxed vibe, and it’s common for people to stick around and chat after.
It gives you a natural opening to talk about something you both just experienced.
28. Explore niche conventions and expos
Whether it’s a plant fair, comic con, or wellness expo, niche events bring together people who are genuinely excited about something.
Excited fandom energy makes it easy to strike up a conversation.
As a bonus, if you hit it off, you already know you have at least one shared interest.
29. Go to low-key business networking events
Not all networking events are boring affairs focused on getting everyone you can to take your business card.
Smaller, interest-based gatherings— especially outside your usual work circle— can be a great way to meet people who are into the same things.
Just like with all of these ways to meet someone offline, it’s easier to connect when you’re there for something that actually excites you.
30. Lean nto growth, wellness, and purpose groups and events
Spaces built around learning, self-awareness, and meaningful experiences tend to attract people who are thoughtful, curious, and open.
Workshops, volunteer projects and spiritual classes all invite deeper conversations and shared values from the beginning.
Connection usually shows up more easily when you’re already focused on something that matters to you.
31. Attend community or spiritual gatherings
Church groups, meditation circles, or conscious community events tend to draw people who are grounded and open to connection.
While it’s not specifically a spiritual event, Burning Man can be an oddly great way to meet people. Several of my friends have met partners and made life-long friends there.
32. Explore spiritual or embodiment-based classes
Yoga, ecstatic dance, tantra, and/or breathwork classes tend to attract people who are more emotionally present and self-aware.
33. Take a group fitness class or wellness program
There’s something about working out together that makes it easier to connect.
Whether it’s CrossFit, barre, or a wellness challenge, people tend to chat before or after. Showing up regularly helps things build naturally.
You’re already in the same rhythm, which makes conversation feel easy.
34. Sign up for improv or acting classes
These kinds of classes push you out of your comfort zone in the best way. They attract people who are playful, expressive, and open.
Laughing together makes it easier to connect quickly and naturally.
Enjoy yourself enough and even if you don’t get a date, you will probably end up making life long friends.
35. Volunteer for a cause you care about
Pick something that genuinely matters to you, like walking dogs at an animal shelter, helping at a local food bank, mentoring teens, or checking people in at a community fundraiser.
These kinds of settings naturally attract kind, values-driven people who care about making a difference.
36. Get involved in local activism
Like volunteering, activism can be a wonderful way to meet someone.
Look for causes that matter to you, like canvassing for a local candidate, attending city council meetings, volunteering at a voter registration drive, or helping organize a neighborhood cleanup.
Activism attracts people who are passionate, engaged, and paying attention. It’s a meaningful way to meet someone while doing something that feels important.
37. Take a skill swap or time bank class
These classes are all about exchanging what you know for something someone else can offer.
For example, you might teach basic graphic design in return for learning how to cook a new dish or fix a bike. Skill swaps are a fun, community-focused way to meet generous, open-minded people who enjoy learning and sharing.
To find these kinds of exchanges, check out sites like Simbi, Timebanks.org, or look for local groups on Meetup or Facebook using keywords like “skill share” or “barter network.”
Libraries, community centers, and makerspaces often host these too. It’s a great way to connect with generous, open-minded people while learning something new.
38. Attend a local town hall or city council meeting
These meetings are full of people who care about what’s happening in their community and want to be part of the conversation.
It’s a more serious setting, but it puts you in the room with people who value action and engagement. If shared values matter to you, this is a strong place to start.
39. Travel solo and stay social
After college, I made several life-long friends and met incredibly interesting people by traveling alone through Europe.
When you travel alone, you’re more open to meeting new people and you seem more accessible for locals to meet. You’ll find it’s easy to strike up conversations when everyone’s out of their usual routine.
Pick places that encourage connection, like hostels, small group tours, or retreats. This leads me to the next point:
40. Go on an immersive retreat
Plan trips that center around something you love, whether it’s a yoga retreat, hiking tour, cooking adventure, or a creative or personal growth experience.
Immersive retreats give you time and space to connect with others on a deeper level, and being in a focused setting makes conversation feel natural.
For example, I’ve met lots of fascinating people attending retreats at The Monroe Institute which is a nonprofit organization committed to helping people explore consciousness.
When everyone is there to learn, grow, or recharge, it’s easy to meet people who are open, present, and aligned with what matters to you.
41. Go to a “silent” event and stay after
Silent discos, silent retreats, or even museum silent hours often create depth quickly. And when the silence ends, people are often eager to talk.
For silent retreats, look into places like Insight Meditation Society, Spirit Rock, or your local Vipassana center.
Silent retreats range from a weekend to several days and are focused on mindfulness, rest, and self-reflection.
Check out directories like Retreat Guru or Dharma.org to find options near you or in places you’d like to travel.
For something social and light, silent discos are another option.
These are often listed on Eventbrite, Meetup, or Facebook Events. Look for keywords like “silent disco,” “headphone dance party,” or “quiet clubbing.”
Some cities even host them regularly in parks, on rooftops, or as part of wellness events.
Art museums and galleries sometimes offer silent or quiet hours, especially during after-hours events. These are great if you want something more reflective but still social.
Try searching for “museum quiet hour” or “silent museum event” on your favorite local event calendar.
You might also find unique silent experiences through yoga studios, wellness centers, or immersive art spaces.
If you’re easily overwhelmed or just burned out on dating (but still want to get out) silent yoga, silent movement classes, or low-stimulation art exhibits can all create a similar low pressure vibe— calm, curious, and open to connection once the silence ends.
42. Try speed dating events
It might feel a little old school, but speed dating is one of the few places where everyone is actually there to meet someone.
No phones, no swiping. Just quick, face-to-face conversations that help you figure out if there’s a spark. It’s simple, low-pressure, and can actually be a lot of fun if you go in with an open mind.
To find speed dating events, start with Eventbrite and Meetup.com, where you can search by city and see listings for upcoming in-person or virtual events.
Some speed dating groups are general, while others are themed by age, interest, or a specific lifestyle— like book lovers, entrepreneurs, or creative singles.
You can also check out national organizers like The Fun Singles or Pre-Dating Speed Dating, which both host live events. Search by location and find something that fits your vibe.
You can also browse Facebook Events or check in with local bars, lounges, or community centers. Many of them host casual speed dating nights or partner with dating organizers.
Even if speed dating feels a little outside your comfort zone, showing up to one of these events can be a fun and surprisingly effective way to meet someone in real life.
At the very least, you’ll have something to laugh about when you’re 90.
43. Say yes more often, even when you don’t always feel like it
It’s so easy to get pessimistic and turn things down when you’re tired, busy, or just not in the mood to socialize.
But sometimes the best things happen when you show up anyway, even if it’s just for a little while.
Saying yes more often expands the surface area of your luck and gives life a chance to surprise you.
Finding someone worth dating can be a long game so easy on yourself.
Don’t try to be the most fascinating person in the room or pretend to be someone you’re not, just try to show up.
A lot of real-life connections start with being just a little more open than usual.
When you want to meet someone offline, this kind of mindset can really help.
There’s nothing you have to push or make happen— sometimes simply saying yes creates space for something good to find you.
