Are you asking yourself, “should we get back together?”
Hey, it’s Brad Browning here, again, relationship coach and author of “The Ex Factor” guide, a program developed to help you get your ex back into your arms.
I know I’ve been known in the past as the “Ex-Back Geek” and that’s something I’m actually really proud of. I pride myself on my ability to help men and women salvage their broken relationships.
However, on some very rare occasions, sometimes getting back together with somebody that you miss just isn’t the right decision. Of course, when clients hire me, I teach them exactly how to win back their ex, and a lot of the time they do end up getting their ex back, but only for the relationship to fail again three or four weeks down the road.
Sometimes, two people just aren’t compatible at all, and both parties would be best suited to move on completely. Coming to that conclusion can be pretty tough, especially if you still love the person dearly and you really miss them.
Today I’ll be covering five things that can help you realize whether you should keep trying to get your ex back or whether it’s time to just simply move on with your life.
1. Do you really love your ex?
A lot of the time, when someone leaves you, you begin to irrationally want them back and try to get them back into your life without actually looking at the facts.
People want what they can’t have. Right?
If possible, try to take a step back from the whole situation and take a few breaths. Then ask yourself, “How much do I love my ex, really?” If you don’t think that you really love your ex, then it’s time to just move on and find someone that you actually do love passionately and intimately.
2. Can you picture a legitimate future with your ex?
Sometimes lust can blind your foresight and, believe it or not, I’ve coached couples back together only to hear that one of them is planning to move 2,000 miles across the world for work or whatever it is.
You really have to consider the logistics of being with your ex. Would it ever really work out in the future? Even more telling, would you ever marry your ex? If not, then it’s probably best to cut your losses and find someone else.
3. Frequency of arguments.
Studies show that an occasional healthy argument between partners builds trust and love.
However, when arguing gets to an excessive level, then obviously the relationship was just never meant to be in the first place. Think back to when you and your ex were together. How often did you have arguments? What were they about? How intense were they? Was there screaming and throwing things across the room?
If you’re having intense arguments on a daily basis, then how badly do you want that back in your life again? Chances are your ex probably isn’t interested in that again, either.
4. Ask yourself why you want to get back together with your ex.
As absurd as it sounds, I asked one client why she wanted to get back together with her ex-boyfriend.
Usually I would expect an answer along the lines of, “He makes me feel like no other guy can make me feel,” or something along those lines.
Instead, I got a rather strange and funny answer. She said, “I want him back because he’s good in bed.” I had a good laugh about that one because, while sex is a vital part of a relationship, it shouldn’t be “the” reason why you want to get back together with your ex.
5. Is there a chronic problem?
If there was something ailing the relationship that would not go away, you need to ask yourself, “Will it ever go away?”
Maybe you kept cheating on your ex for whatever reason. Or, if there was drug or alcohol abuse involved, then you really need to assess whether these problems will ever go away and whether it’s realistic to get back together.
Similarly, if there’s a fundamental disconnect between you and your ex on topics like marriage, children, money, then that’s a potential problem, as well. For example, if you’re dead set on having a big family, and your ex swears they’ll never have kids, how will you reconcile that in the future?
If reading this has made you second-guess your decision to get back together with your ex, then I think I’ve done my job.
However, if you’re still dead set on getting your ex back and, most of the time, that’s probably true for you, then I highly suggest you go check out the free video presentation on my website. In that video presentation, you’ll get all the information you need to start winning them back today.