Hi, I’m Elizabeth Stone. Here are today’s questions:
My question is based on an ex of mine.
I believe in second chances. I could care less what people got to say if it wasn’t for second chances where would we all be at in this life where not everyone is perfect
Question: is she planning on coming back to me? If so, when would I expect her to arrive and how to go about it when she does?
Cool. I’m willing to give an occasional second chance myself.
As far as this mind reading question about this guy’s ex-girlfriend’s plans, I have no idea.
I’m pretty darn intuitive sometimes but I’m definitely not a psychic. I have no way of knowing or even making an educated guess about this.
The only thing I can say for sure is that the reality is that his ex-girlfriend isn’t here now, so it would make sense to plan accordingly.
Otherwise, my crystal ball is still in the shop.
Let’s move on to the next question for today:
It’s been almost a year now since my ex dumped me. I’ve pretty much lost hope that I’ll hear from her again, but now I’m okay with that. Thing is, I did propose to her, and I meant it. That meant I was willing to work through the tough times.
So if I should hear from her I’m conflicted about how I should approach her. Is this just a tough time or something unforgivable?
I was destroyed there for a while.
Good question. Only you can decide how you choose to treat an ex who dumped you and comes back.
It might sound too simple, but if you want your ex girlfriend back, then you act one way.
If you truly aren’t interested, then you’re automatically going to act differently.
Whether you can forgive her or not is another question I can’t really answer.
In my experience, many (if not most) relationships can definitely be repaired. It takes a lot and I refer to it often as “the emotional Olympics” because of how difficult it can be.
And, getting back together is not always hard because of anything your ex is doing, the hard part is usually overcoming your base instincts around how to handle the whole situation.
If you act “destroyed” and dramatic if she circles back around, you’re probably not going to pull it off.
You might get back together, but it isn’t going to last very long. She’ll look at you and be reminded all about why she left you.
That’s not going to work.
Now, if you have something good going on in your life and you’re happy and willing to move past whatever happened between you, you have a better chance of pulling off a successful reconnection.
I know from personal experience that people’s memory about breakups is LONG. For example, I’ve had serious problems in my own relationship from time to time. He’s left me for two long periods and we’ve gotten back together afterward.
Even though we are close now and it’s been years since we’ve had those problems, it sucked and it was hard and I still think about it.
But our relationship absolutely wouldn’t work if I hadn’t come to terms with the problems we had and the reasons for breaking up in the first place.
Only you can decide if it’s worth it to you to answer the phone if an ex reaches out after a long time.
It’s a very personal decision whether or not to keep trying with someone, but for it to work, you have to be ready to truly forgive and move on with them, even if you don’t specifically forget what happened.
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