Hey there, I’m Kate Spring, a dating and relationship coach from the west coast of Canada.
Today, I want to touch on a topic that has come up a lot in conversation and that is how to improve your game.
What exactly is “game” in dating and how do you get it?
For a long time, I thought game was this thing that only certain men were born with, but in reality, “game” is just charisma.
And what is charisma?
Charisma is compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others.
That sounds pretty sweet, doesn’t it?
Charisma, and/or game, is actually not some innate feature that a select few are born with, but It is developed by practicing and acquiring new behavioral skills.
So what are these skills required to improve your game or create it out of scratch?
1. Take Initiative.
Alright, so the first step in improving your game is to take initiative with a woman.
Initiative is the ability to assess and initiate things independently.
When a man takes initiative in his life this shows a woman that you are self-assured and that you know what you want and that you go after it.
You’re active in getting what you want because you aren’t afraid of what other people think about you.
Taking initiative shows confidence.
Stop asking for a girl’s number, stop asking her to dance.
Instead, pose it as a statement, like:
“Let me grab your number.”
Or:
“Let’s dance!”
2. Be confident in what you want and go after it.
That’s a man that women want to be around.
Now, with this, it’s important to understand that while you should take initiative, you should NOT be pushy.
If a woman is apprehensive and her body language shows she is uncomfortable, then do not push her.
Make it playful and fun but understand when no means no.
Consent is a huge topic right now.
I want to make sure that you understand that when I say “take initiative,” I don’t mean to ignore the non-verbal signs a woman is not interested in you.
Creating connections and finding similarities between your life and hers is key to making her want to get to know you and spend more time with you.
3. Posture/body language.
One of the best ways to be attractive to women and exude charisma is through your body language.
The way you carry yourself says a lot about you.
Something I was taught pretty early on was to act as if you belong in any room that you enter.
Even if you feel like a complete fish out of water flopping around hopelessly, FAKE IT!
The best things that you can do to fake it are to stand tall and take up space. Make eye contact, smile, and open up your body to the people with whom you’re engaging.
That is the posture of an approachable guy with charisma and game who makes people feel comfortable when they’re around him.
4. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes.
Mistakes humanize people, which makes them more likeable.
Nobody wants to to be around a perfect person. That’s not a realistic way to live your life.
If you’re anxious, just know that that means that you’re spending too much time thinking about what will, might or could happen, when you should just focus on the moment.
Anxiety is over thinking the future, and wanting to know exactly how something will play out before you can even attempt to try, but that’s not how life works.
So enjoy the moment and try your best. Fake it till you make it.
5. Have a sense of humor.
Last but not least, have a sense of humor.
Don’t be afraid to laugh and make jokes. Laughter relaxes people. When people feel relaxed around you they feel comfortable and will want to spend more time with you.
Those are the behavioral skills that you can use to become the most charismatic version of yourself and immediately improve your dating game.
To learn more about how to improve your game, visit my website and watch the free presentation here which takes an in depth look at how to build attraction with any woman you want.
