My name is Kate Spring and I’m a dating and relationship coach from the west coast of Canada.
For today, as you can tell by the title we’re gonna look at some of the reasons why you’re still single.
These are general reasons why a lot of people in this day and age are still single.
Reason why you’re still single #1: Your expectations are too high.
One of the main reasons why you’re still single is that your expectations are too high and even unrealistic.
Maybe you have one of those checklists that sounds like this: “brunette, thin, not taller than me, can cook, has her own money, is the perfect mix of sexy and cute, loves to have sex all the time, likes all of my friends, is independent, et cetera”
Everyone has some sort of list but if your list is too extensive and specific you might be setting yourself up for disappointment which is a definite contributor to your non-existent relationship status.
These lists are problematic.
Think about a woman’s potential list and what it’s like to live up to other people’s unrealistic standards. It’s quite off-putting.
Do you want to try to live up to those standards?
What if a woman’s list was, “to be humble, sexy, confident, adores me, thinks I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, is loyal and committed but still makes me want him by sometimes ignoring me, loves to travel, funny, generous, patient, romantic etc.”
It could go on forever.
I think where we’ve gone wrong is that we’re constantly inundated with images and ideas of perfection. “Perfect gym body, the perfect gym couple” but what we fail to see in our daily social media intake is the quirks and imperfection imperfections that each individual has that makes us all unique and differentiates us from the rest of the world.
People even think that for relationships to work we need to follow some arbitrary checklist that worked for one couple when in reality you determine what works for you and your partner.
Author Mark Manson said quote, “it’s really simple we all have our own imperfections everyone we date also has their own imperfections intimacy and romance is determined by people who have comparable and complementary imperfections to one another” so what I’m trying to say is throw the arbitrary checklist out the window.
Try and just meet and engage with people for the sake of expanding your horizons. Test yourself by engaging with people who you wouldn’t have before for the sheer purpose of trying to learn a different way of being in the world and learn some new things about yourself.
Along the way, open your mind and your preferences.
If you guys are still troubled by being single and you want to learn more about building and maintaining attraction with a woman then head over to my free presentation on building attraction here.
REASON #2: You lack self-confidence.
If you’ve watched any of my other videos, you would have heard me reference this saying before by Rene Descartes. That saying is “Cogito ergo sum.” I think; therefore, I am.
Ralph Waldo Emerson also said another iteration of the same thing when he said that “you are what you think about all day long.” What you think you become. The way that you think and speak about yourself directly correlates to how you carry yourself and how people perceive you.
A lot of a lack of self-confidence has to do with fear. I’m afraid, so that must mean that I can’t do this mindset. Ferentez says that, “it’s amazing how easily being afraid translates to ‘There’s no point in trying or believing that success can be achieved.’”
Be kind to yourself. We’re all trying our best. When you’re feeling afraid ask yourself what do you have to lose by trying something new and getting out of your comfort zone and the answer should be nothing. Because at the end of the day, whatever happens to you, you will be ok.
Alright, that’s all I have for you today. I hope this helps to give you some of the confidence and a positive mindset to put yourself out there in hopes of finding a special lady.
