For most women, trust is the most valuable component of a relationship. If she can trust him fully and completely, most of her relationship issues fade away.
This is why most women will have “honesty” as the first word that comes to mind after “funny” when they are asked what they are looking for in a guy.
But the cold hard truth is that, men lie. It’s pretty common for women to wonder why men lie after being told a whopper.
Women lie too, of course, but men often lie for completely different reasons. Also, research suggests that when men lie, different parts of their brain are activated than women.
In fact, knowing why men lie also helps women separate the good apples from the bad. Here are 8 major reasons why men lie.
1. Because he’s trying to avoid a fight.
Enter the age old question, “Does this dress make me look fat?” and you understand this point instantly.
He lies because he really can’t win if he answers honestly. If he told you you looked like an overweight walrus in that new dress, that wouldn’t end well. If he just tells the white lie and says you look great, he’s going to have a much happier night.
What many women forget is that it doesn’t matter what his answer is, if he is with you, he thinks you’re beautiful whether you’re wearing that dress or one of the five you tried on before it. For him, bullet is dodged, happy evening can commence.
2. Because he wants to build up his ego.
These lies occur when he’s with men more frequently than when he’s with women. “I kept her up all night” or “I’m going to be making six figures any day now”, things like that.
This simply goes back to the primal need to puff oneself up in front of other male members of the species.
If women are around, these lies get even bigger.
Like the time he told the couple friends you are having dinner with that he can bench 250 and you wonder what he’s talking about since he hasn’t been to the gym in five years.
If you’ve just started dating, watch for him to tone down the whoppers as the time goes on, especially when the lies center around ego-boosting attributes or exaggerations.
In the beginning of a relationship, he might just be trying to harmlessly impress you.
3. Because he has a fragile ego.
Fragile, but large. Too large to tell you he has feelings, but fragile enough to remind you he is human once in a while.
After Neil Simon wrote his play Come Blow Your Horn he went to work every day telling his wife he was working on his second play when he wasn’t, and was too embarrassed to tell her otherwise.
4. Because he’s trying to get out of something.
This will be a chore around the house, a new project at work, a new level of commitment with you.
Also, it’s one of the top reasons women lie to men. “No sorry, I’m washing my hair/cleaning behind my fridge/changing the air filter in my car that night.” Sound familiar?
5. Because he can get away with it.
Men may not always be great liars, but they aren’t stupid either. They will lie when they know they can get away with it. If he tells you that he graduated at the top of the class, he knows you aren’t going to check, this goes back to the ego booster as well.
6. Because he truly believes you might turn into a psycho chick if he tells you the truth.
Unfortunately some women before you may have colored his perception of the opposite sex.. You can decrease your chances of becoming victim to this one by…never acting like a psycho chick.
When he sees your calm, unwaveringly cool attitude, he will be more willing to be honest with you.
7. Because he’s just not that into you any more.
The most unfortunate reason of all that he could be lying to you is, he is falling out of love.
“No sorry, won’t be able to call when I land, I don’t even know where I’ll be once the convention even starts.”
Qualifiers like “even” repeatedly, or a higher pitch in his voice, lack of details, these are cues that you are falling victim to this reason why men lie.
8. Because he’s actually someone you should stay far away from.
This is both the most dangerous and least common reason why a man could be lying to you. If you’re catching him in big lies that don’t have any justification as far as ego-boosting or trying to stave off a fight, this is a pretty big red flag. Listen to your gut on this one.
Why Men Lie- The Bottom Line
The bottom line is that men lie for self-preservation the vast majority of the time.
Although you think his little white lies or big whoppers are reason enough to start a fight, that’s exactly what he’s trying to avoid. And when that’s not the case, he’s doing so because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.
Men aren’t as in touch with their emotional centers as women, so it’s not as easy for them to just open up, especially about issues that center around their fragile egos.
When you know why he’s fibbing, it makes your job that much easier. When he has a history with you and he knows that you don’t go all loco when the truth comes out, he will be that much more willing in the future to give you the unadulterated truth.
