Marriage is a big deal, thus it is essential to take time to know your partner and what you really want your life to look like before you get married.
People are different, and so are marriages.
What may work for one couple may not work for your marriage. It is important to think about your life priorities since you do not want to start gambling with your life in the future.
Marriage is a huge commitment, and it takes time to make it work.
Obviously, you want to choose the right person but what about the other stuff that comes along with building a life together? You might love them with every fiber of your being but if you’re incompatible deep down, it’s never going to work out.
Don’t doom yourself to divorce because you didn’t think it through. Here are 12 crucial things you should consider before you get married.
1. Spending habits, budgeting and future financial plans.
It is essential to talk about spending habits with your partner or spouse.
Determine what each of your spending habits look like and decide whether you can agree on whether it makes sense to you.
While good spending habits can make the relationship happy and healthy, bad spending habits may cause friction, leading to constant arguments which can harm the relationship.
Discuss who will take care of a family should you decide to have children and whether one or both of you will continue to work. Money is one of the most commonly reported reasons for marital arguments, so make sure you’re on the same page before you take the leap.
2. Mutual respect.
In my opinion, respect is more important than love, but obviously that doesn’t mean that love is not necessary.
Sometimes couples choose to stay together even in relationships that are not working and love is long dead for various reasons like financial support and raising children.
If you find yourself in this unfortunate situation and you lose respect for your partner, it will be difficult to even get along as partners.
3. Shared hobbies and goals.
Hobbies are a crucial aspect of relationships. It is important for both of you to determine which hobbies that you both enjoy.
Engage in hobbies that will allow both of you to participate. Outdoor activities are great since they enable you to mingle and meet new friends.
If you love shopping and are trying to figure out where your relationship is heading, you can take him for casual window shopping of mens wedding rings, and check what his reaction is.
If he responds positively, it may be a sign that he is getting ready to take the relationship to the next level. If he cringes and low-key freaks out at the very idea of commitment, it’s a good sign that it’s either too early in the relationship or he’s not ready for a deeper commitment.
4. Compatible career and lifestyle goals.
In a relationship, it is important for you to establish your partner’s career goals.
As partners, it is important to support each other to achieve your career goals. It will be difficult to do so if your career goals are not compatible.
For example, if one of you has a job that requires you stay in one place while the other has location freedom or can work from home, the incompatibility in your lifestyle can cause problems. So can marrying a workaholic who refuses to take time for you and family responsibilities.
If you marry someone so driven that their main priority will always be outside the home, you have to consider whether this lifestyle will work for you and for how long. If you’re already competing for their time now, it won’t get better once you tie the knot. You have to decide what your bottom line is and whether your partner will have enough time and emotional bandwidth for you.
Great relationships are built on a foundation of excellent communication skills. You should be able to open up about your concerns and fears to your partner and trust each other.
Communicate early about problems while they’re small. If one or both of you bottle everything up and explode, it’s going to cause problems. So will marrying a dramatic arguer when you came from a family of calm, logical thinkers who rarely raise their voice.
If you’re struggling with your partner’s conflict style now, get some premarital counseling before you get married to make sure that you can weather problems when they come up.
6. Life challenges.
Life is full of ups and downs.
No marriage is perfect and every relationship is faced with various challenges at one time or the other.
Sometimes you will face happy moments and your partner will feel like the best thing that the world has to offer you, other times you will disagree with each other, hurt, and fight each other to a level where you may not even want to see each other.
As partners, it is ideal to learn how to solve your differences amicably whenever they arise.
7. Marry your best friend.
It may not seem like a crucial factor of any relationship when starting up, but many years down the line, the underlying friendship may the only thing that keeps your partnership alive.
There are many things you can talk about as you prepare for your marriage; your bridal party outfits, mens wedding rings, wedding cakes, decor, and much more, but the truth is that marriages built on true friendship stand the test of time.
True friendship is the glue that keeps marriages together in the long run.
Marry someone you are truly friends with underneath the romance. When you are old and all your children are all grown and left the house, your partner’s companionship will be essential since you will have no one else around you to talk to.
8. You can’t change anyone except yourself.
Study your partner’s character before you commit. No person is perfect but his negative characteristics should not outweigh his positive ones.
Many people fall in love with the wrong people and hope that they will change them some day.
The bitter truth is that many people never change. So it would be wrong to get into a relationship with the hope of changing your partner since that may never work.
9. Your future in-laws.
In-laws are an important part of any marriage.
In popular culture, in-laws are often portrayed as disgruntled, mean, and unsatisfied parents and relatives but you will have to learn to cope with them no matter the circumstances.
You can try to avoid them but you usually cannot evade them completely during family get togethers and meetings.
Apart from your partner and children, these are your other family members and you’ll have to find a way to cope with difficult in-laws or choose a different family to join, so be careful and mindful about whether these are people you can live around in the long term.
10. Faith and religious beliefs.
Before you get married, it’s super important to identify your partner’s religious beliefs. It doesn’t matter what religion they are, as much as it matters whether you can agree on the daily logistics of religious practice.
For example, if one of you expects that your children will be raised in their faith, what do you think about that? Decide whether you can work with your partner’s faith and all that implies.
In the beginning of the relationship while things are cute and cuddly, it might not seem like a big deal, but later down the road, are they going to expect you to follow their religious traditions or get married an a certain church? Is that faith the same or different than your own?
Some couples from different faiths are able to make it work and some struggle. You have to decide what’s best for you in the long run.
Conflicting religious beliefs often strain the relationship, and it may never work. Avoid getting into a relationship with someone who you can’t accept for the long run.
In this day and age where not all couples want to have children, it is important to discuss the possibility of having children with your partner.
Raising children takes hard work, time, and money. Some people simply may not be prepared for or interested in such a burden.
Make sure before you tie the knot that both of you are comfortable about your perspectives about having children and agree about the number of children you wish to raise.
12. Physical appearance.
It seems obvious to mention, but if you fall in love with that handsome guy or gorgeous woman when they are young, they’re not going to stay like that as they age.
Fall in love with someone you love so much you’ll still want to spend time with them even as their looks fade and their body changes.
While marriage is exciting, it’s important to keep in mind that while you might be super in love right now and want to start the next stage of your life together, there are some really important things to consider before you take the leap.