Modern Dating Tips For Men Part 2

(This transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.)

hey what’s going on guys welcome to the Orion group podcast I’m your host Robert Dunn. I’m here tonight a little later tonight actually I actually put our Christmas lights today that’s what I forgot to tell oh great how are you I’m good like I said I was thinking about always that always happens Elizabeth always asked me a question before the show but then I’ll answer it once we start the show because my brain switches well we talked so we can talk such a long time that if we don’t just turn on
(00:36) the recording we’ve have we’ve missed some amazing stuff right so we’ve had to train ourselves to do all right we can’t get caught up into our conversation we got to start recording all this because that’s actually happened like earlier on when we started doing this we realized we were having all very good stuff off-camera as they would say yeah the after the jitters were gone and all of the you know worried about what you’re gonna say thing exactly now I’m worried because I’m so comfortable that just
(01:04) whatever you come out well I’m glad to hear that me too actually raced back here and got back in the nick of time to do this from the old casino but actually I had a family dinner and then and then it was a de Casino so I don’t you know it’s not like I was like oh let’s do this later tonight because I have to go to the yes all right we understand she’s trying to you know scratch the itch for 30 minutes a day all right hey well now you’re prepared in lose any money and it nose up 50 cents
(01:40) your fans there’s a win yeah exactly but yeah that’s what we are going to continue on our journey of my dating tips we talked about I forgot I know I think kind of whenever Kimber’s what I thought guys should do prior to your point yeah purpose prior to getting involved with women in general kind of went down that road I actually got that episode up late because there was some glitch with Apple podcast and so they weren’t posted like new stuff and so I did kind of play around with that but finally got it up
(02:14) so you can definitely listen to that one I don’t think he’s proud listen that one first so if you’re listening or you’re not listening now cuz we’re recording it so never mind scratch that neither way don’t miss it because it’s a great episode right it is alright and so round two here we go I was thinking about again what I wanted to say to the fellas and you know obviously you’ve been listening to this show you know we don’t really go about things just as common make sure you wear
(02:51) a clean shirt everybody understand what’s going on behind the scenes as well not just the behavior or not just the action I should say but what’s behind it’s important a more complete picture so you know what’s going on it’s always better to be aware than not and there’s a lot of things that even if you know you’re not some person who gets all deep into this stuff but I think it’s still important to kind of have a full picture of how people go about these things and what’s going on not only from
(03:24) a biological standpoint but from you know a consciousness standpoint a spiritual standpoint and and all of the above and all the in-between yeah absolutely so what I want to start breaking down for my next tip is type women and type okay because if there’s anything that guys talked about a lot in one way or another when you really think about our break it down for what we’re really talking about or I won’t say complaining about or interested in or frustrated by it’s how women and type and how you guys interact
(03:59) with with that term and that principle oh yeah that’s an interesting one and I think people I don’t know overuse it a little bit but I want to hear what you have to say about it first I think no I think I want to well it’s a concept that I haven’t actually thought about in quite a while really and I was trying to think of the reason for that and I think it’s because I’ve moved personally and I try to move my clients more into the feeling space and so it’s all about how you feel when
(04:33) you’re around somebody and what what they what they set off for you and in in in in a male space it’s more about their appearance at first and I’m only talking about initial impressions here I’m not talking about I’m talking about the way that the energy systems interact with each other so when it comes to type if you used to think about type in a masculine way like a person had to look a certain way when you move more into your feminine you desert that as a concept and think about how they make
(05:00) you feel yourself a little bit because that’s really the realm I’m really want to talk about this because again for me I like to move people past type as well you know if for a lot of reasons I don’t know if I really break that down but when it comes to how guys were late to mostly I relate but how its how women women’s type of fix how we relate to you and how it affects us and how you relate to us certainly because when I don’t think there’s any guy that’s not affected or has it been
(05:40) affected by either being a woman’s type or not being her type and a lot of guys get really frustrated this issue because you guys can be so black-and-white with it that’s what it looks like anyway does it does it I didn’t you know I’ve never realized from the male side that it looks black and white because to uh to me it’s never seemed that way but I could tell you exactly what mine would be as far as what I would like the pinnacle of desire not that I’ve ever achieved that necessarily you know in a
(06:15) replica-table way visually the way that I thought I would but I’ve certainly you know been perfectly happy it’s just that it’s interesting that you mention it because we I I mean wheat when I’m I’m weighing too much on this one because I I actually don’t know a lot of women’s opinion about this because I just when I when I’m coaching I sort of make them like I just discussed about the feeling you know I make them just evaluate people based on the feeling that they’re getting from it and so I
(06:43) make them go out with everybody you know because you know they don’t they don’t know you know that you don’t know visually anymore and so you don’t have that as information as much and see that’s the thing while I like what you says because like just like you said that I got a I want them to go out with everybody right like you’ve always said before add more men to me they’re like you just tell me to add more men like shut up but it’s funny that that needs to be told because that’s the what the
(07:21) obviously the conflict is sort of speed when it comes to men and this issue when it comes to dealing with women and why say it looks so black-and-white to us because when I found out really with men is I’ve said this before our range it’s so much bigger but I think a lot of women think or realize yes you are right about that yeah and the best way I can illustrate this is pornhub or any porn site that’s obviously more directed towards men I guess all they really all are but that’s porn for women now or it’s become more
(07:57) more out there more available right but when you go to pornhub there’s everything right cuz men get we’re not discriminating it all on there men can get off to a lot of different thing and it’s very common for us to do we have an ideal sure but there’s most women I know you hear time and time again when we get frustrated because they think all we want is the coke-bottle figure you know you know all those cliche terms we have according to like women’s body type and all of that and it’s always been so interesting to me
(08:34) because it’s our range is so vast that it’s sure with this ideal celebrity woman popping up will be like love that ideally sure but it’s never we would still want other things right it’s about variety right it’s more about variety thing else because remember a man’s evolutionary purpose is unlimited sex with unlimited women exactly yeah so that’s what our biological imperative sort of speak is yeah and so when you kind of look at it from that standpoint it makes sense that we would have a range because the goal is
(09:18) to get as many essentially get as many women pregnant as possible because that’s how the world gets populated yeah absolutely and so when it comes to this issue of type and why it looks so black and white to us because I don’t think women realize how zero or a hundred you guys really work when it comes to we only have one egg right yeah but like say you don’t you know let’s say see what’s what’s normal for a and it doesn’t seem weird or doesn’t see something is needs to know being aware of it because it’s
(09:53) just how you are absolutely you can’t see the water when you’re swimming in it exactly so to us naturally beings can be so diverse when it comes to what we can you know since I think it off to when we hit women and your type men get so frustrated because of whatever is not a part of that can get shut down by you so intensely well we are in charge of no so the feminine is in charge of no all right so we just yeah we just snaps shut like a trap door and that’s it right there’s a lot of again there’s
(10:33) evolutionary reasons why it has to be like that you can’t just let anybody Yeah right literally a very dangerous thing for men to get connected to the wrong man it’s literally for the most of human history it had significant survival repercussions for women to get connected or have children with the wrong man yeah absolutely and it still does it’s just a little different but I mean but still I mean we’re still getting killed in the grocery store you know in Florida that woman the same same kind of thing but
(11:04) most people if you’re gonna get killed to get killed by an intimate partner so just so you know darken it all oh my god you’re gonna die while you’re mating for everybody anybody trying to have a lazy Saturday afternoon it’s gonna love that comment sorry everybody you’re not hopefully you won’t die in a supermarket but we’re gonna teach you how to date better so you want so you’re so talking about teleca’s that we can start there you start talking about how I said that a man’s evolutionary nature prerogative
(11:37) was or imperative is a woman’s evolutionary nature is to get her to have babies with the best genetic match and the best provider protector or with the best provider and protector yeah so we’re looking for resources resources and genes both of those are and and very you know attached kind of kind of things but you know so that’s why like you know femininity falls in love between the ears because we need to hear about you know all the stuff you guys want to brag about exactly this is why women were
(12:10) asking all these questions you know these questions trying to get information from you because she’s trying to determine where you fit in on that scale right yeah are you a viable candidate for this and we don’t mean to do that like we don’t sit down to dinner a lot of the time and like have a list in our mind it’s just that that’s a natural way that we may you know we we the one the feminine waits until they have something in front of them and then they evaluate it is that spur I’m gonna
(12:38) get inside or not yeah another thing about our primal natures is that it’s largely unconscious or subconscious it is well in sometimes we benefit from bringing it more to the conscious level so that we aren’t that we aren’t just operating blindly because when you know that that’s what you’re listening for or why you’re asking all these questions or why it’s okay that it that everybody just looks you know great to you like you can’t identify a type because you know you’re male and that’s not really what
(13:10) we need the whole point of the show the whole point of what I do is really to take what’s not be what’s not conscious and bring it to the surface that’s really all the Orion group is this is why we talk about things the way we talk about them sure we could talk about it just now do X Y & Z you can you can get that anywhere the point is that I don’t want anybody to have to continue to behave in a way and not know why the most frustrating thing in the world for people is when they get to those places
(13:40) where they’re behaving in ways and they just don’t you know they keep saying I don’t know why I keep doing this I don’t know why I keep cheating on my boyfriend I don’t know why I keep getting involved with certain type of guys or girls or whatever like how many times have you I know Elizabeth sorry there’s tons of times there’s people understanding why they’re doing what they’re doing and so the whole point is giving you information so you know where it’s coming from because we know it’s coming
(14:04) from then you can behave accordingly or act accordingly and you know you could there’s something you can do with it I know there’s a lot of people who just want to give you information and say well I don’t want to responsible or be responsible for what you do with that I just want to give it to you it’s like no that’s a cop-out as well because who cares if I give you a tool and not tell you or teach you how to use it okay right and we’re swimming in information you can google any you know how to do
(14:29) anything and have you know 500 different opinions about it within the hour you know we don’t like how to is valuable and it’s valuable in a in a larger context but so is understanding what these motivations are all about because if you you know instead of going to like you know five years of therapy to uncover your you know conscious need to to collect resources we could just collect resources and you know dial down the desperation with all things so when a woman comes across a guy that her primal nature determined
(15:02) good genetic match or as the you know ant or has a good protector provider ability that her body was gonna flutter with chemicals all right and when her body floods with chemicals what it feels like to a woman is chemistry in the most simplest way I can put that that’s what’s going on right you know I would I actually disagree with the portion of it okay and here’s what I disagree with on this win okay it’s it’s an it’s an opposite an opposite thing so we get the like the chemistry for you is a
(15:37) pheromone thing that goes through the Jacobson’s palate and into the I’m gonna say this wrong I’m going to say this wrong it goes into your body through your sense of smell so it’s a physical reaction it happens in your body you do not have when you when it comes to the evaluating resources part of the discussion it’s not that you feel chemistry after you experience the chemicals as you feel the chemicals and then you start looking for other reasons why it’s justifiable that you would want
(16:06) to mate with this human because you you you absolutely want the best specimen possible but genetically if you’re gonna get that it’s gonna be you’re gonna know it through the chemistry and the pheromones it’s the same you know it’s it’s a long the lines of like why I may like to go down on women a lot of the time is to check how it is going down there you can actually sense disease and all of those things from the experience of going down on a woman so if it’s not right you don’t you know you like
(16:33) repulsed by the entire affair similar and women land so we don’t what it is is you have that chemical hit those two things are separate things and then when you start to evaluate the resources you can think to yourself gosh this is a viable candidate and in the other ways he works for me genetically now let’s see if he works the other way well that’s what I meant to say well what you did say was what you did say was that we what you says we feel chemistry after we evaluate the resources well that’s the I
(17:09) should have separated those two because that’s not at all what I meant so thank you for catching that because Marie that’s what the reader or listener that’s I needed to separate yes I did not mean that the resource see the resources and the protector provider is not on the same that’s number two that’s yeah okay yes absolutely we agree on that point for sure when it comes to the chemistry and I said has to happen like the resources and the protector that comes along you’re not gonna even get
(17:40) there if you don’t have chemistry okay well yeah the the part where we’re you know aroused by T hrough and interesting and mating with you that’s a you know real smell thing I mean that’s because there’s thirty six inches away from you and then you know about that but that could be somebody you’re sitting next to on the bus right does chemistry issue we’ve talked about before there’s arousal and then there’s attraction and what its arousing isn’t necessarily the same as what’s attractive or they’re
(18:09) kind of two different yes yo just how we get the friend zone right now so you’re attractive but you’re not arousing it right exactly and so when you start talking about how do you get from you have to go through the genetic match phase which is like say it could just be a smell pheromones we’re talking about all the different chemicals that happen that can have nothing to do there’s actually a funny thing I remember reading about this study that was done where the scientists would take like little pets and they put him under
(18:38) men’s armpits and they had one of these men did you hear about that yeah that’s a good one you know and they had the men walk around and do whatever sweat or whatever and then they took all the pads and they put them in a bag and they you know gave them to women to have them smell it and the women could really tell which guys were actually just objectively attractive just by the smell or which ones had more testosterone it changed based on their cycles so the more yeah the closer they were to the middle of a cycle the more the more
(19:07) interested they were in the higher testosterone sample I believe I get to recall that the whole alpha males are really attractive at a certain point in the cycle because again they’re talk about more a genetic type of a thing and so arousal is a prerequisite for yeah the first part of the process yeah so it’s to give first gate you have to get through right that’s the first case you have to get through and this is something where you talk about a the the whole arousal issue this is we’re game
(19:39) because I guess to give a better analogy so it’s kind of more understood let’s say you have a hundred women right and you ask a hundred women out on the date and ten say yes right right because they’re just they have a natural chemistry right is there what game is supposed to do is try to get the 90 right you’re just for bringing the average up right you’re you’re trying to bring it up games job is to bring up chemistry yeah it’s all game is supposed to that’s that’s all games to but that’s
(20:11) the primary goal of game that’s the primary goal of pickup ours with pickup ours you go on YouTube you look at pickup ours and you you know they’re teaching you stuff well they’re teaching you to do it’s how to trick this system you know that one get more opportunities Thank You Lee right what’s its what’s attractive to the arousal cues right and so when you put all of this in you start talking about type this is where typeless because type is really I guess you can say the ideal but every woman
(20:41) has a different ideal right and the ideal is not just you know conscious or you know you know realm of the spiritual but it’s it’s a genetic ideal as well because you don’t really know but like you don’t know what your genetic ideal is the only reason why you know is because you’re gonna have chemistry for a guy and only you’re your primary nature is the only thing that really can tell there’s awful smell or a you know whatever it is that what brings that up out of you right what brings how a guy
(21:10) is going to fit you in that way and so this is why guys that you have a lot of chemistry for are strong chemistry for you actually will have good babies with ya and that’s what that’s made to do that’s what that’s made to do again like we talked about many times it’s not about quality right well and it’s also meant to bond you to them so that you know when it all doesn’t work out you guys follow each other around long enough to keep the catalog right and this is we’re oxytocin comes in and a lot of
(21:39) Excel you can learn about a lot of those or you can the club that stuff up but and so this is where no this is where we’re at and so why God get so frustrated with it like why I want to explain why I think it’s important for guys to understand kind of how this comes to be is because we’re guys get frustrated at is that we don’t think your type should have as much pull as it you shouldn’t be as selective as you are ladies that’s the idea there I understand why because from the male side you like what’s the big deal yes
(22:16) exactly and it’s and the problem with it is so many guys are trying to they get mad about it and they get stubborn about it at the same time they get stubborn about it because they think it’s it shouldn’t be that important it shouldn’t have that much pull or influence and a lot of times when you have chemistry for a guy actually most of the time it doesn’t make any sense either that’s the thing about this when you have great chemistry for a guy it’s not rational it could look rational outside the only
(22:54) times it looks rational because it’s it can show up obviously and what a lot of the guys will call chance or the objectively good-looking guys right and so guys will latch on to that idea then they can go through a whole spa downhill spiral with this whole concept right and so if I had a tip when it comes to how to deal with this me personally I don’t deal with women that I have to build their chemistry I understand that you can you know right Elizabeth and I have talked about that it’s possible to flip
(23:30) women but I don’t flip and this is something that why one of the biggest reasons why I don’t really like to talk about you because advice because I don’t I don’t do that and a lot of guys do it’s very common and normal for guys to do that but it’s something that I’ve picked up over the years all the guys that I thought were good women never did that either and so it was kind of instilled in me without even me trying to learn it and that’s just kind of how I’ve always been and so guys
(23:58) are constantly asking like how do I get X girl and I’m thinking well if you’re asking me that then there’s no like I wouldn’t mess with a girl like that yeah I wouldn’t mess with a girl I would have to ask the question that type of question it but because I don’t deal with the broken well well I think it depends too on who’s asking the question as well like is the person who’s asking the question totally together in a way that is impressive like do they have it all really figured
(24:25) out and they just want this one particular person or early kind of a mess and need the advice to begin with like that would have a lot to do with whether or not it’s worth examining this is what’s so important about why the first thing I tell men about my first tip was get your stuff together oh yeah number one because this is where it comes down to because of what’s a lot of what’s attractive to women is embedded in you getting your [ __ ] together actually what’s attractive to everybody
(24:59) is you getting your [ __ ] together everybody who’s listening get your [ __ ] together yes but the way we get our [ __ ] together because it’s gonna look different because that’s where you have a lot of women getting frustrated that their CEO true yeah points fair point I do mean something different with that actually and I a good catch because that’s true that’s objectively true so this is why because you get so many guys who want to circumvent because it’s a hard work to get your stuff together as
(25:26) a guy like what’s attractive to you as women it’s a lot of those things take time to build you know most of us are not gonna be Justin Bieber at 21 you have millions of dollars you have the fame you have the status and you have all of these things like that’s the rarest of the rare right and I’m not saying that you have to be you know I have to own your own house and you know have the top stuff in order for a woman to date you obviously that’s not the case women will sleep with you because
(25:52) they think you’re funny so I don’t want to make it seem like women just have these astronomical standards what I am saying is that there’s a lot of guys who spend a lot of time just trying to essentially gain the system how can I find a trick to not have to go through that or not have to yeah the work and still get you know quality results yeah yeah this is I’m sorry to interrupt you know this I have a story about this that I I had a there was a friend of mine who was was coming to me for advice from time to
(26:27) time and always found it to be really effective really effective like we’d come back I’d be like oh my god it worked really well and then um I spent a little like a weekend with him once and at the end of the weekend he was like well what is it like why is like they’re not nobody’s sticking around and I was like nobody’s sticking around because you are not together so you succeeded at the surface level but you until you have a purpose and you’re sure what it is and you have put it all together into the
(26:59) world nobody’s going to stay there just not and I mean I said it very carefully but I said it very carefully but you know um this is somebody who you know I I respect but it was like man pull it together you know you like you are a very smart man and I know that you know this intellectually but because you are flighty and because you’re frame like we were talking about last week your frame keeps shutting down they nobody feels safe around you so they won’t stay but they’ll they’re absolutely good for you
(27:34) know a fun time but they’re not gonna respect you and that’s the problem that you’re having that’s such a huge word because when you focus on getting your stuff together that’s exactly what it does it builds your frame or your brand if that helps you make it a little bit more grand is a great way to put it what is your brand as a man what do we get when we get you right that’s a great actually like thinking about who you are as a branding exercises are really I’ve been thinking about branding a lot this
(28:05) week I was telling Robert before this call that I had been actually creating visual assets for the brand I’m building like self and I had struggled with that for the longest time but if you think about yourself as a brand which I’ve had to do with this or what is your vision here you could get a really long way if you were if you were really doing it intentionally like is it that you are reliable and dependable is it that you’re mysterious is it that you want you know a family and to be and to be
(28:37) into status is that you want a certain kind of life because if you basically decide what you want at the end and then solve for X then you will end up with the life that you want rather than just going around doing things that woman I want that sandwich I want that Ferrari I want that you know whatever that is so unintentional but if you were to say to yourself well what kind of job would I need in order to have that Ferrari or have that relationship what kind of situation would I have to be in to stay respectful then you would end up with
(29:16) the things that you wanted rather than trying to get the things that you want instead of becoming that and then becoming that person later this is what’s the problem so many men have because exactly how so many of us go about it we’re trying to contort ourselves into what we think this particular girl wants if they meet someone else that then it’s like what the what do this what does this girl whine and you’re you’re Frankie like a lizard you say your frame keeps changing every week because you’re trying to be
(29:46) what you think this person this girl wants so this girl likes this type of guys so I’m gonna get in the gym and after a month of just going gym every day and that doesn’t work out this Carol likes books and so now yours you know there’s pictures of you you know in a canoe and then the next week you’re hiking and then you’re a ski is snow skier like well and then you lose your sense of self because you never knew what it was to begin with exactly in this again this is why I can’t stress
(30:14) this enough the first thing I would talk to men about has nothing to do with women because everything any success you’re gonna have with a woman or women in general roll is gonna come from you having that identity but you having that center with you having your brand we should be I mean and this isn’t doesn’t I don’t want to hear some big massive thing a woman every woman that I found the show can talk to me for a half an hour and know what she’s getting when she gets me right because you’ve been consistent I
(30:43) am that is what I do and that’s what I realized that that’s something that you have to understand is in many your it’s not about being everything to everybody you want a woman who’s gonna fit you and so your life your personality needs to be congruent you know needs to be in step and so you don’t have to be fake because a woman who meets you and says I want to be a part of this frame now you’re not worrying about having to not be yourself this is why when you say I mean every guy knows a guy who can be
(31:11) his complete self around I mean that you don’t realize how how significant and how much that stands out when a guy is himself because we all know that most guys that just their identity to fit the type of relationship they want because guys again I’ve said this many a time I really need women to believe this guys don’t have options like you think they do the average guy is not just going out every night or every weekend finding a new girl to have sex with and then doing it again like it seems like that’s not
(31:42) the average kind of normal you know guys have a scarcity mindset naturally because it’s it’s it’s hard to get women into your frame because women have so many options I’m gonna say talking about relational if you know don’t get me wrong but I’m telling it from an attention or a sexual stance or a much more than you put right well because it’s a bit it’s up to the masculine to create opportunities and it’s up to the feminine to receive them so you know is it by virtue of your energy source
(32:13) you’re just not gonna have a lot of opportunities that are swimming your way exactly and so when you start getting your stuff together when you start pursuing what’s authentic to you and what’s true for you you naturally create your brand you naturally create your frame when you say okay okay what do I care about what am i interested in you are authentic about that now women have something to look at and say do I want to be a part of that or not and where I I say okay I could disagree but well I don’t do or I don’t promote it’s like
(32:48) I’m not trying to get you to tell you things how to get women who wouldn’t naturally want to be a part of your frame to become a part of your now I don’t necessarily I just don’t personal that’s not my personal philosophy about going about it that’s the hard way that’s why you don’t want to do it that way why would we expend that kind of energy when we have options because you have an abundant mindset so the abundance mindset says well I’ll just another one will come along and then I
(33:19) can wait for something better or I can wait for the right person and well I’m and I can do that because I’m already satisfied like I don’t you know need to go out and and I’m not desperate for this particular woman because I already have all these options this is the root of the really boring and mundane dating advice that I give all the time which even is it company it’s coming out of my mouth I’m like god this is so boring but what it is pick you need a hobby get yourself a hobby like I say get yourself
(33:49) a hobby and then yeah and people are like I don’t want to do a hobby I’m like I know and they’re like I want my hubby to be this and I’m like that’s okay like if you want you’re happy to be video games like saying so this is the one that I get the most like they’ll be like they I want to play video games and I don’t think that’s good enough I’ll be like you know what the point is not that you love halo the point point is that you have something that you care about that it can be part of your frame so
(34:20) that thing whatever it is you then protect that thing it isn’t you don’t I’m not telling you to get a hobby so that you’ll join the Chess Club and then you know fall in love with her as she beat you at chess I’m telling you to get a hobby because if you keep collapsing your frame upon whatever her hobbies are she’s going to get tired of you and it’s not gonna work out so you need to have things that are like bookends in tentpoles in your life and that’s why it’s okay if you’re hobbyist video games
(34:48) like video game and but if you also want to add the gym to that or something social to that that would be great too it’s not about finding a hobby that involves women but that’s a total bonus but you can also find a hobby that you know that you just like and enjoy and that you continue doing during all of these times if you like woodworking like Ron Swanson do woodworking I don’t care what it is but don’t give it up the minute that anybody complains about it doesn’t think you have time for it or wants to supersede
(35:21) it this is where it gets tough for a lot I mean gets tough for a lot of people in general up for men and women oh yeah everybody this the Hobby advice this is why when you go online dating everybody seems to like hiking personally I was actually thinking about this the other day the way I’ve been in the position where I’ve been like well ok fine let’s go hiking I hate hiking you know I don’t know why I’ve ever done it with on a date but I have done it on a date and every single time I was like I just don’t like this
(36:02) like I’m having a miserable time yes to your wishes this is where this is where it gets tough it gets tough because we have there’s certain things that seem to be more rewarded than others right it seems to be more rewarding to be an actor than a garbage person right right right and you have all of those perceptions about what that will do for you in dating life right and this is we’re just human nature comes to buy the whole idea of peer pressure is rooted in this right because what’s tough about
(36:37) this is that this is what integrity means this is what discipline means you have to have the discipline the integrity the self esteem the self confidence to be yourself and it’s people don’t realize how much that you really have to have that self love to be yourself because the hardest thing in the world to do is be yourself because the things that you like and enjoy some will be celebrated from a societal standpoint and some aren’t so popular okay some type of things that necessarily people look for protocol on
(37:12) the dating app or anything like that but if it’s you and see where I’m trying to get why I hate doing this again why I do this personally because I can’t stand scarcity mindset and so I don’t I don’t I can’t relate well I can relate to you but I don’t want anything to do with that because I am where I’m like unlike put the blinders on and don’t think about how everybody wants to do hiking you know it’s true though because when you realize that you know most important
(37:48) thing is where is like your own self-love even though it’s not sexy to think about it it changes the way that you operate and that’s what you know you would never operate from an outside in kind of a format because that’s what you’ve learned I’d like you that is not effective so since you’re moving from you know the inside out it’s like well oh my god I would just find more opportunities not to hike and I would find people who don’t like hiking and we would laugh about even though we went to
(38:17) the gym like when I was in Missouri you know I was dating in Missouri and everybody liked to go wedding like mudding was the thing and there’s nothing wrong with money certainly and I actually like like I used to have quads at 18 I went out and bought a quad actually you know whim and did there’s like a whole bunch of groomed courses in California anyway so I like had my quad super excited about the quad but then when it came to like okay we’re gonna do this in a Jeep I was like why would we do this and it like like no it’s just
(38:52) boring now it’s just bouncy driving important thing I want to throw in there is I want to make sure that we’re not saying that it’s not cool to try anything right and to try different but know that you don’t like hiking hiking instead of not ever doing it you know right find out if you if it’s something for you at first like we don’t we don’t care which hobbies you choose we just want you to make an informed decision and then not lie to everybody and then five years down the road be like you
(39:29) know what I’m not gonna eat this oatmeal I’ve been eating it for five years and I never told you I didn’t like it and you’ve been making it for me this whole time thinking I love it and I don’t just lying to each other this is relying to ourselves and proof for approval and to be accepted which again is a very instinctual thing for humans to do because we survive in tribes and we survive together you know it’s all we’ve always had to survive coming up and so that’s very strong
(39:58) instinct for us to need approval from our particular society and it’s funny how we care we don’t care about everybody’s opinion cuz you’re not gonna care with someone from Russia care does or thinks about you as opposed to someone from America even though you’re both human beings why because you’re a part of American tribe okay you’re connected to each other we’re connected to this is your society this is the that you interact with Q deal with basis and so it’s not something that’s a global
(40:26) thing but we do need to understand that for the fellas what do I get when I get you because a lion is never got to tell me it’s a lion exactly and we don’t want to find out that you’re a psycho killer five years down the road yeah and it’s even though there’s there’s that aspect of it please be a psycho killer on date one everybody sorry but it’s hard for you to find women who fit you if you don’t if you’re not putting out there what’s actually true feet so how are you
(40:58) ever going to be attractive to the right women if they can’t see what you were what you bring to the table is interesting this one this girl told me we’re talking about online dating and she was we were talking about the whole looks at issue of it and she said something that was really interesting to me she’s like will your looks are the only thing we can trust online you know you can barely trust that obviously barely but listen what she was saying she’s like the only thing I can trust the only
(41:29) thing about your frame that is obvious it’s the only thing about your frame that really does stand out in that context in your branding exercise you may have lied about everything you’re high you can lie about everything this is why you got it as I tell you got hang out quickly as possible right because you need to find out what it is this is a frame you want to enter into or not right and you know um I actually personally when I was a lot younger God totally catfish right like completely other person lied about everything and
(42:04) and what was interesting about it is he ended up telling me about it before there was ever any problem he wasn’t after money he was really like I would say probably an insult and he wanted to write a book actually about how awful women are and what he did is a branding exercise was he made himself blonde and tall and like everything that you would want and he was very intelligent so he came up with basically a whole back story and you know then talked to people but he never expected that he would actually talk to anybody more than once
(42:42) and of course yeah ding ding ding I’m the lucky one and so the interesting thing about it was we actually ended up having a conversation where I was like you know I actually like without all of your you know [ __ ] story in the whole thing like I’m I think that that’s a [ __ ] –nt and I’m furious about that but if we set that aside I actually just enjoyed getting to know you and you never gave me the opportunity to get to know you and that’s the tragedy because you don’t because you already assumed you already
(43:17) counted yourself out you already decided you weren’t good enough and then you had to show up as somebody else to come here so that’s the like that the absolute like the worst part about it was that it was like well great yeah I mean from my standpoint you know we can we can i whatever it doesn’t it this does not affect my day to day but what I will never forget about it was the like his reaction to that and he’s like you know what you’re right you’re absolutely right and I will never
(43:48) forget it but you know it was just that weird you know is this Cyrano de Bergerac type of situation where like you screwed up you know you and and we clearly know he screwed up we’re not here to villainize him but the point about it is that because there was no you know the frame collapsed and there was no frame there like yeah it sucked because the real human could have gotten somewhere this is this is this is a fight because this is and I’m talking about a fight an internal fight because when you think that you are not enough
(44:29) and when you are not feeling great about yourself especially as a guy because there’s nowhere for us to go when we have any type of right and we have these particular struggles and so what we do we get mad right after that you collapse that’s the thing that’s what guys get mad and there’s nowhere to go we get angry then there’s like that stages of grief there’s like a stage of how does guy go from just an average guy to let’s say in cell level and there is a process to that happening and it is a collapsing
(45:06) upon itself process right well in there this is where the the phrase you know depression is anger or anger turned inward really applies even though I don’t always agree with that phrase go ahead because like when we see women and what you respond to and it’s not like so much that we only see you respond to the top 20% of guys like a certain way right we see you respond to a lot of different guys in that high chemistry way but because it doesn’t because the the evolutionary isn’t rational like we said
(45:46) we don’t know how to map it right and so it really does just happen in our eyes it’s just there and you would think that would be a good thing but for God’s the way our brains are wired it’s not because we can’t take notes on it controlling you know competitive conquering there’s there’s nothing to make a there’s no way point right we can’t make a better plan off of that we can’t you can’t see it might work it might work is not a great map all right and we try and there’s a lot of men who
(46:19) are making a lot of money off of teaching a lot of this is a lot of hustlers are doing with men there’s a hustlers in the men’s world it’s guys things like this is the strategy this is how you get hot beautiful nice well it’s always Oh even on yeah wherever you go pornhub has tons of every ad it’s get your dick beat or you know there’s a dime like 10 minutes do this like that funny meme whenever you like social move all the pornhub I have all the same right or just porn ads in general
(46:48) because they’re always talking about how guys hustle other men is to give oh my oh yeah I can teach you a do that and let me let me fix your perceived problem whatever you perceive that to be like dick size not pick up skills whatever when you talk about a natural way where you would see someone who’s just a natural ass and they seem to do it he’s also easily but just seamlessly right and every god knows what that what we’re talking about it’s the the way to get there you know whatever you think there is is always
(47:25) getting you right because what’s a natural is this a guy who can be himself that’s naturally attracting women who are attracted to that frame exactly he’s already put up all of the groundwork right and being attractive and then he just gets to be there and so when I was telling Elizabeth before the show in terms of how I was really actually having to talk about however and not wanting to know I do reverse engineering because I realize how I go about it is I’m essentially looking for the women who already like
(48:05) me and what I mean by that is that’s exactly that’s how I guess explained chemistry in my mind that’s what it looks like to me it doesn’t look like oh the girls just wanting the bad boys it’s saying that there’s gonna be women if if I get myself together the best way I can in this time that I have you know in the situation that the current time that I’m living it then there’s women who are going to be attracted to me and my frame naturally absolutely yeah and you’re trying to encounter more of them I’m
(48:37) trying and I’m just counting trying to encounter more oh and I don’t do that by gaming women I don’t game women I’ve never does another every game way but I don’t game night anymore and I’ve never I’ve game women in a very long time I don’t do all those tricks I don’t do any of that stuff because I’m not trying to create anything that isn’t already there if I take my stuff I’m going to attract when we were attracted to that frame and so when I had to think about that realize
(49:09) that’s what I that’s all I’m really doing I know that there is already there waiting for an opportunity to be exposed to it I am like I’m I don’t wanna make it so simplified but generally that’s what I do and that’s what I’ve seen cuz that’s all I saw the guys who were what I thought were Naturals were doing and so to me it didn’t seem like that’s the way you did it only guys I saw a running game where guys were just really just trying to put on or a really legit
(49:34) players they just really wanted to have a lot of sex a lot of different women and they were committed to that goal but guys who seemed to have the type of situations that I wanted it seemed at first it just looked like they were just so smooth and so suave and then but I want to sort I really started understanding and and asking questions just kind of being around him I realized it was just them saying boom this is planting their flag yeah they weren’t ever trying to get girl to want more it was like this is what it is
(50:03) and there’s nothing that it’s kind of you’re gonna avoid heartbreak I know you’re not gonna avoid anything so don’t think this is some some out no you’re still gonna go through stuff because well there’s still rejection so you’re not inoculating yourself against rejection by what you’re doing actually is that you’re just making it more likely to succeed right and you’re you’re you’re putting rejection in a place that is healthy cuz right when I get rejected I’m like oh it’s just not
(50:33) for me but I don’t say I’m not bad I don’t turn it on myself I don’t think I anything wrong with me when it grows with Jack I don’t do anything wrong with me actually what’s interesting cuz we well we’ve been raised and brought up to be like modest about these things but actually less modest is better because then we can understand the process that goes that goes on in your mind because in the mental model that you’re talking about is different than the oh my god I’m not gonna make it if this one person
(51:09) doesn’t turn over for me or if this one person doesn’t you know yeah that you’ll spend seven months did you know in grief essentially if you have that mindset but the mindset that like oh no big deal you know I just wasn’t I just wasn’t there cup of tea is really really healthy and it’s really really um like valuable so we should be you know not giving people a hard time when they have high self-worth anymore and you know celebrating that like gosh you know that person really does like themselves
(51:43) that’s really interesting what how could I do that more because that that mindset right there the mindset that we want to make fun of or put down the one that makes you the prize is so perfect forgetting everything to me like I I gotta say like guys wouldn’t believe my situation like my lifestyle they wouldn’t believe it they didn’t think it’s possible and to me it’s so my normal that I couldn’t imagine like because and I’m is it’s really not self in grand izing I’m really not trying to do that
(52:18) yeah we’re just trying to help you like brag about this at any time this means this is like we’re two years into disgusting things weekly and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of them you know him like brag about anything so I think we’re good yeah yeah I don’t like I mean we have widen the doorway moments all the time but I don’t think and so it’s I like women who like me I know that seems no but actually that’s very very profound and here’s why lots of people like people who don’t like them and find
(53:00) it very attractive right it does not give me off to be breaking down you know going through all of these hoops and to do all these hoops and going do all this drama and back and forth and talking of 50 million people about some chick that doesn’t want you right like I don’t get off on that doesn’t yeah don’t get me wrong very much a hunter but I like hunting I thought what purpose yeah well and that’s also a function of your self value because when you because people who are in the cycle where they’re
(53:36) either chasing or being pursuing being pursued to a point where it’s a little bit intense like where it’s not the normal like the pursuing means that you call the person you know we’re not talking you know we’re talking about we’re talking about the difference between these things so like the initiating and continuing to push the ball forward down the court is the masculine so that belongs to the masculine but the difference is that the force behind it because like you know there’s power in the nurse force right
(54:17) so in in force you are trying to change the situation in power you’re trying to attract the situation the right for you and you can’t do it as a man and let you know by doing nothing essentially because that’s that’s feminine energy so you have to do stuff but you if you’re gonna apply your effort you have to go in the right direction so rather than using your effort to get people that really don’t give a [ __ ] about you if you pick ones that seem to be interested in what you have to offer you’re gonna have a better
(54:48) life like my god felicity if you’ve ever deal with the women or the woman who has chemistry like legit level chemistry for you opportunities right it is completely different level because most guys they think pursuing they get frustrated they get almost like well because they think about it like you know the difference being what I exactly when you’re pursuing a woman who doesn’t have chemistry for you it is the worst you will all your energy everything will just be sucked dry out of you and you will never feel good
(55:24) about you won’t have anything left well it’s why people [ __ ] about when okay so if people are gonna [ __ ] about not liking to pursue women this is why right because actually men love to pursue women they love it I mean they don’t like to admit it but the reason they don’t like to admit it is because of the difference here exactly you pursue women who have chemistry for you it is the greatest thing in the world because it’s almost like you know having a game and having a cheat code and the
(55:55) point is that you you know all you’re doing is unlocking your achievement at that point you know you’re not you’re not making an achievement and then you know coding the whole video game and then like having the level up you’re you’re going on a cruise rather than rowing across the Pacific it’s complete it’s like why did somebody you’re on the boat and they’re swimming and you’re looking at it and you invite them and they’re frustrated of course you’re frustrated you know and of course you’re
(56:25) jealous of me because I’m on the boat right now that we have to swim and then you know what you’re saying is really like well if you just like pick a market that actually wants you so if you have the you know your frame all figured out if you find people who complement that and then you initiate contact with them and if they do not respond to your contact or they close the container then you go away and pick a different person to talk to right let’s say very it’s very simple it’s not easy no and you’d be surprised what a
(57:01) small percentage of success what that actually looks like in real life like I’ve looks like you not actually ever bitching about being pursued because you don’t realize you’re even doing it right and you’d be surprised how your market is more robust than you realize if you think about how many so I’ve done hundreds of shows and that’s maybe there’s been like 50 of them that couldn’t get posted for one reason or another but that’s that’s I don’t even know how many woman I’ve actually asked
(57:36) to come on though right let’s say it’s only been ten percent looking with ten percent got me I mean so it’s you think if you get a hundred you asked out a hundred celebrity women and five said yes that’s five five celebrity women that you’re dating that’s five celebrity women a three-day me like yes it was when you back up a look at it there’s a very small percentage right but a five percent conversion rate in sales like if it was the Internet is like you could print money right you can literally print money you
(58:10) wouldn’t know what I mean something with the five percent conversion rate people and email me because I want to send it traffic you know that’s like even its thoughts we’re getting like a 15 percent return on your investment a year the SEC is gonna be knocking at your door yeah no it’s not supposed to be like well and that’s why when you get people to worry about numbers in the process you know then they suddenly it all works out because they didn’t realize that they were sad about the four people that
(58:42) they’ve managed to date in the last two decades you know like it doesn’t matter that one person 15 years didn’t like your toes I mean you can just move on fellas my god if you’ve the fellas really got because it would be just like fast food like if you’re KFC sell chicken know everybody is not going to like chicken no some people are not gonna want chicken on the today or this week of this month but it’s KFC hurting for customers no do they do hamburgers no do they try to do hamburgers no do
(59:17) they try to do ham and beef enough know they sell chicken that’s what they do they say we’re not trying to be we’re trying to be attracted to people who want chicken that’s always really and that’s as use a man that’s probably the perfect knowledge or a metaphor for how we should be what is you what do we get when we get you because there’s gonna be that’s you can’t be everything and you can’t do everything but you can do something really well and what you’re gonna do really well is what’s gonna be
(59:47) natural free what’s gonna we do naturally have the skill set for the make up for and of course you can improve that’s what it all it’s about cuz once you find your thing all you’re doing at that point is trying to improve once you final comment you know getting in the gym and then at that point you’re just trying to prove that okay I lost 10 pounds now I’m trying for 20 foot and I’m gonna try for 20 right and you just keep improving and the more you you concentrate that the more you develop
(1:00:13) that it just becomes so your brand that you become so synonymous with it that we can’t even tell the difference between you and the thing I can’t you can’t tell it is between Tiger Woods in golf they’re the same he’s become so synonymous with that the when you say Tiger Woods you say golf when you say Michael Jordan you say golf no one says Oprah who she doesn’t she has a more nebulous brand and then Tiger does actually yes because you know but the thing is she’s branded herself so
(1:00:50) well that people know what to expect when they get hurt you know you can’t you’re not like it’s thinking that Oprah’s gonna be your bartender at the local bar like you’re not gonna show up and it’s gonna be Oprah serving you which is why like she did an episode of something I don’t know under her bosses maybe where she like pretended to be a fast-food worker and and they the window and they got Oprah and they were like oh you look a lot like Oprah and nobody could youcould would even believe it was her which is
(1:01:23) why we would think it would be weird if we saw the rock in a tutu yeah and which is why it would be funny comedic Lee to do that I mean you know but the point is that he even changed his brand to the rock wears a tutu like he just you know does what he does and then you know you don’t you don’t expect him to be your therapist or you know I mean I had my female friends she was saying she was like I got to be honest I would never come to you if I just wanted to like just talk and jab like and just talk
(1:01:51) about stuff I’m like exactly did I ever tell you I ever tell her not to do that no did I ever say anything about that you she could not talk to me just call me ever we can just shoot the [ __ ] no there was just something about the way I present myself and she knew that was not something she would would be an option it’s out that’s not on the menu right because when you bend your brand like I said these things people are perceptive you know people get vibes and energies you be like you’re never gonna have to
(1:02:22) explain why you’ll never have to explain it the reason why you’ll never have to align it we’ll never have to go around saying it’s a lion okay a bear will never have to go around saying it’s a bear this why you should always be skeptical oh man we’re always telling they like oh I’m the king well if you’re the king we shouldn’t it should be obvious trust me we don’t ya that’s not you do not tell people there’s great quotes about this that I can’t remember right now because guys do
(1:02:48) that all the time every day you’re gonna hear some guy claiming what he is it’s like if you are that we will no I promise you Brad Pitt is never gonna have to tell us he’s a Playboy you know he’s never gonna have to say that why because it is obvious right certain people are what it’s when you have it down when you are so in sync where you are and this is it’s a process developed whatever it is that you bring to the table will be obvious this is why I don’t when you function like this oh my god
(1:03:20) you get rid of so much nonsense because people stop come to you for stuff they know they’re not gonna get from you you’re not there for then you don’t have to deal with it again you have to listen to what happened at your you know super relatives they sting from this person because she knows not to call you have to lose some good things some because you are not you’re no longer functioning as it I’m trying to just bring it all land and then just you know and keep it in hoarded because I’m scared if I let
(1:03:56) it go I’m not gonna give you thing else you now begin to say like look I understand that if we are not a fit if you don’t have any chemistry for me it’s just not gonna happen there’s been times I have lost good women because I’ve said look this is my frame you know and it sucked like I said this doesn’t make it hurt any less doesn’t make it you know any easier but I’ve had to lose women that I did not want to lose because it wasn’t a fit because it’s like look this if you’re gonna enter this frame this is
(1:04:25) what’s gonna this is a situation for me okay and if that’s not gonna call her a [ __ ] I think call her hoe or a [ __ ] it was just like oh this is not for me cool you know and then going your own separate ways and you again it’s is this doesn’t have to be so vicious so so much the times like it’s like it has been like it is a lot of times because people we’ve got to the point where I made it so much I’m stop talking no you know you’re right no I was I was going along with the vicious point you know it’s
(1:04:53) actually people are actually matter at you when you present something they don’t expect rather than you just being completely consistent the entire time you don’t like hiking we’ve never pretended to like hiking hi I mean they might want you to get you to go on a hike they might try to talk you into it they might want fish and moan that you don’t want biking but the point about it is is gonna be a lot then if you pretend the whole time in lie to them and then one day stop wanting me go hiking
(1:05:24) then if you just are consistent the whole time you know yeah like people are so worried about approval but this thing about approval is that people who are not worried about it you usually get more of it it’s nicer like you don’t really care what people think people like you all the time you no problem I had somebody recently call me charming and I had never heard myself described that way before mm-hmm look at her like she had grown another or something I was like what are you talking about and she’s like and then
(1:05:59) she like broke it down for me and I’m not saying this to be like self Agron I think I butchered that word but I was like shocked and this is another human being who’s carried this whole perception of me around for this whole time and it’s never occurred to me in my life and trying to be charming has also never occur to me like the charming miss on a scale of 1 to 10 had never been you know I’ve never thought to myself like well if I just mm-hmm they’re gonna like me better no but it was that you know it
(1:06:36) was the genuineness of it that struck me because it was just like what we’re talking about like you you know if you’re going around telling people that you’re the king they’re probably not yeah that was the end of my thought I don’t know where I just was like well so again this is a really important I gotta know how we talk about this particular point but now I realize how important it was because because this is I think this just single thing right here will change so many guys lives because it shifts
(1:07:20) your energy and this is how I deal with men I shift it’s about shifting your energy because like we said last show it’s going to go somewhere and when men waste energy that is the that will kill a man more than if I really want to hurt a man I got a waist you I will feel fine give you stuff to do that with just have you exert energy with no production and I will I’ll destroy you and that’s what I’ve done in the past I don’t you been just right yeah well I mean you know when you have kind of the
(1:07:58) gift set that I have you usually mess it up initially because yeah that’s you know you really vicious with it because once I realize I could do certain things and with women that showed up with women that was very manipulative and I was very you know it wasn’t good well no magic school story starts with everybody not shooting the wall down let’s be the beginning of your class action if you are destroyed this is why the friendzone guy can get so marriage yeah absolutely and that’s a great way
(1:08:46) to bring that around and that’s what that Fury is all about it’s about being ignored after putting in all of that energy all that effort this is what guys say when they don’t feel appreciate and a lot of guys a lot of women they’re like what do you mean don’t feel appreciated like I appreciate you but what he means is like I feel like I’m putting out more energy than I’m getting back right and you’re not showing me with your body language expression you think that you in fact appreciate me
(1:09:13) because we didn’t think it on our mind but the other person and say thank you but the other person might not understand it in that pure Glee sense that they want like I don’t know if if it’s true for you but I’ve noticed that a lot of men when like if the all the nonverbals are there like the wiggly like excitement that’s what they think is appreciation like go all the way with it good and this is what no you’re exactly right cuz now I just made me realize what is so potent about dealing with women who
(1:09:48) have chemistry because the chemistry naturally kind of puts her into that mode you vote more right in both place good or bad so you you know it’s upset us you get to hear about it and if not then then you get more of that like Glee and excitement and um you know we gooeyness that we don’t have all the time we don’t act normally exactly and that is that’s fuel that is life fuel for men and this is what get so men so down because if you are just constantly trying to turn women then you are putting in a lot of effort a lot of
(1:10:27) and again is possible and trust if you can you’re gonna get all that good stuff too all right but more times than the guy your skill but the lesson though is that you will get more that if you choose more you know like here’s an example so you know I mostly deal with women I do coach men but I mostly talk to women um you know I mostly talked to women over about thirty-five obviously you know they have a certain all you know like my my my clients are JIT are very similar right now if I were to take my
(1:11:08) entire business and then gear it toward something completely different like seventy five year old male accountant you know something just you know they would just be like well that’s super great that you do this but I don’t what am I gonna what water why are we talking that’s you’re doing would you pick out somebody that doesn’t want you does not want you and the what’s so important for men to take away from this is that like you’re naturally gonna think well how do I get more women
(1:11:45) to want me it is not by outward thanks and this is where all the men advice to me so much of it goes wrong because they’re just gonna keep telling you to change the external and that is not how to get because again the goal isn’t to just try and get all these we just like the goal for KFC is not to get everybody to like them it is to provide eight need in the marketplace you have to look at yourself as that commodity you are going to provide a specific need in the marketplace the marketplace needs you
(1:12:18) whatever it is that you bring to the table it needs that that’s why you are here you are still breathing because nature has said I only go into that to try and stay focused but well when you change the inside your outside will change right it’s that’s how it happens if I was if I’m wanting to say right now I’m like you know what I need I’m trying to get a higher quality of I’m not gonna go out and buy better clothes I’m not gonna go out and be like okay I got a you know figure out some better pick-up lines or
(1:12:49) I got to start going to a different bar what I’m gonna do is emphasize what I’m already doing okay I’m going to the gym maybe I need to step it up a little bit so I can get I want my six-pack instead of my two pack that I have right now okay I want to take my business to the next level all right I want to really start getting my spiritual life right I need to start reading more I need to start doing that’s what I’m going to emphasize because I know when those go up then the women adjust to that new
(1:13:22) frame okay or that right the external is internal really right sure I could get a new clothing you can take care of the practice I’m not saying don’t take care of the practical take a shower get a haircut that fits you get clothes that fits your body type I just hope I didn’t have to talk about practical pragmatic thing but when I’m focused on my work I’m my purpose and I’m really trying to get my stuff together it’s so funny how that seems to make I don’t have to spend time on trying to get women right well
(1:13:56) in what you didn’t mention doing I mean is going to look for anybody different what you mentioned is that you change you and then what you have is an opportunity also changes which is true it’s just that it’s hard in it’s particularly hard in masculine energy to understand that because it seems a very pointless like why are you reading decart know like you want you just told me you wanted better quality women and you decided to join a chess team I don’t you know there are no women in there I mean
(1:14:31) or whatever it is so it it’s it can feel very much like you are doing the opposite thing then achieving the goal that you want but all of those things Adaline get you what you want and it doesn’t seem like that because it feels very pointless from a from a like logical ad to be lit you know linear standpoint exactly and this is why I’ve said time and time again what works is usually going to be counterintuitive yeah and it’s gonna seem stupid to you like the first couple modules of my program the one that is releasing in
(1:15:11) January just as a little Matt fest true love is starting again in January sorry for the plug Robert well I’m working on it night and day I can’t think about anything else but as it’s going and and you know every time I’ve taught it it the first two modules I’m like okay I’ve got to put something in here that they’re gonna care about otherwise I’m gonna lose them and when I what I mean by that is that I know what you need to do but you don’t think I intentionally put stuff in there
(1:15:50) that keeps people on board until week for when they just have a huge transformation and it happens every time they’re like I don’t want to do this I don’t that this isn’t why I came to you and I’m like yeah I know but just you know play along and just whatever like to use it I usually like experiment metaphor a lot and like just pretend you’re a scientist and this is how all the great people that I know thing when you think about you just take Steve Jobs for I mean he was like no one was
(1:16:27) looking or asking for the iPhone right and you’re not looking for what’s inside the program until you do the program the same you know nobody was like dying to get you know a an iPhone they were they were turning out better you know Texas Instrument calculators like think about every great invention that’s been created and think how that must have looked like in your head or when the person first told another person about the idea think about the idea of Star Wars before and you see we come in at the end of the movie okay we
(1:17:02) come in out the other side of the success but what is the pull yeah I want to make something is gonna fly people around the world do you know what that what does a sounded like you know this little thing that we’re gonna be able to type computers on you know her type would have looked like imagine any great movie that you’ve heard or imagined some put someone giving you that script alright you’re gonna have a bunch of guys who’ve been confident you know trying to grab ghosts and put them in the trap thank you so we’re gonna play
(1:17:35) you know put 50 million a good 50 million dollars to make this yeah and you know what I mean so that’s the whole point it’s this what we’re trying to say it’s like look it’s it’s not gonna feel like it works because if it felt like it worked the that’s what everyone is doing everyone’s telling you what seemed so obvious but who’s who’s actually doing it asked stop asking the fish how to catch it right the fishermen keep asking the fish how do you catch me you know you just like when the fish thing I’ll
(1:18:06) tell you you know this is why you have to be so careful about who you listen because to be honest men aren’t gonna tell you how the retina tell you about our egos we’re not gonna tell you about certain aspects of us that you really are evolutionary nature is stuff that you really need to know neither are women people don’t tell you something oh just be nice like why does every woman’s it’s always gonna tell you that but then we get mad at them because we lookin I’m like well he’s not nice you know what
(1:18:33) I’m saying yeah you know being a jerk but you know you get the point I’m trying to make its this is why a lot of advice is so superficial because the the person who’s delivering it can’t actually give you better resources and it’s because they mean anything bad or there and you know nefarious but they can only give you what they can give you and that’s true for every teacher and sage and human being out there but but if you understand that like if it can be achieved by googling you probably would
(1:19:04) have succeeded already that means you’re gonna have to try other stuff and be open to that experience exactly this is where the whole saying you have to become comfortable with being uncomfortable because it’s going to be uncomfortable for you to do something that’s counterintuitive it’s gonna be weird for Elizabeth to say get more men and that’s not like wait what you know it’s weird for me to tell you to get more women is to not even really deal with women you know in terms of like
(1:19:37) your until you deal with yourself women change exactly women will respond to you based off it’s I’m telling you like I don’t I really don’t know how else to go about it like I wouldn’t if you told me I had to go about it the more I guess Tom anyway I wouldn’t know where to start I would be terrible going to a bar I would be terrible going online dating because I’ve never I don’t have a reference well you know what’s interesting about that is that though okay the longer I’ve gotten in my career and
(1:20:06) in my personal life the less I’ve cared about any techniques so like I think I mean it like that’s why it’s so repellent to me to do certain angles like I’ve maybe written I don’t know five maybe articles on online dating in my entire career and one of them was like how to like change your marketing like OkCupid would because it was about split testing it was like all right well if your profile isn’t working try different profiles but I wasn’t telling you like what you’re gonna need in your
(1:20:39) profile is this I was like if your thing isn’t working throw it away do something else you know but the procedural advice is after a certain point useless because whatever wherever you could have gotten with your own logical skills you would have you would have tried to have the conversation with Hurston or you know I mean people people tell each other just to talk to each other like okay yeah just just communicate oh well that’s a powder keg like I’m never gonna tell you just communicate are you kidding me
(1:21:16) so why they call marriage counselors not marriage counselors know just what you’re gonna want to do is communicate your feelings no but but you have to understand why that is because there’s not a framework for the advice to operate in when you are missing so many fundamental things about self and those aren’t working it doesn’t matter if you’re you know currently engaged to the you know the Queen of Spain if you don’t have a self concept that can hold that reality into your life you will not keep
(1:21:52) it which is why we tell you all of these things exactly it’s whatever you have thought to have done you have done we I mean in please think about doing those things before you talk to us actually if you’re wearing dirty clothes not you know I mean please deal with the depression or whatever underlying issues and and I’m not laughing about depression I hey you know at all but I mean that there are certain things that are going to sabotage you if you don’t handle those first you might as well just leave other people alone and really
(1:22:27) take care of the practical the pragmatic that’s on above that level we have to then get into self-love which is the key to everything and it seems so boring it does because it tell it’s always it’s vitamin all right it’s Vytas vitamin stuff and it’s for me the best metaphor that I can give what is the is the gummybear vitamin because I understand that the problem like how I mean by that is I understand information is not the issue like Elizabeth said earlier we are literally say like every day more
(1:23:01) information to uploaded than all of human history crazy thing like that we are not in an information problem we are receiving problem because when the gun when the vitamin people said why aren’t kids liking this vitamin it’s so healthy and so good for them not understanding that it’s not the vitamin that’s the issue it’s the taste hey hey kids don’t kids see the taste kids don’t want they don’t like the taste just like assessment being we are even as adults we have the same problem because what works for us
(1:23:32) it looks like vitamin it looks like vegetable all right and so what the vitamin people did is that you know what why don’t we just put this thing in a gummy bear and the kids don’t see the vitam anymore they just see the gummy bear and this is this this is the what Elizabeth and I I really have to struggle with though I know me personally because I realize how do you get it to look tasty because you don’t if it’s not you know fit your taste buds this is what chemistry is chemistry is something
(1:24:02) that’s tasty or someone that’s tasty sales yes it’s a marketing exactly this is what it’s all about figuring out what your taste but this is what mainstream is right this is what what something’s mainstream you’re saying flavor this is why it can bring in so much but most things that are mainstream aren’t quality right well and there’s just they’re so diluted that we can’t even work with exactly and this is just the the issue of people who are trying to help people in general because you if
(1:24:35) you get all excited about the information because to you it tastes good right in the beginning as well and in the beginning is a practitioner that’s where you’re at right you know like mastery doesn’t live in the technique you know mastery lives way up here after you already know the technique you know but if you’re still telling people the technique and not the reason behind it or the the specific why we’re doing this then you know we’re still in the technique and that’s okay but if that’s the beginning place to be
(1:25:06) in but you know that’s alright it’s just that once you are now focused on different stuff like for example like chill level up in my own situation and I was watching a transformational coach do her I was watching her do her more kidding webinar with in taking copious notes because of the way that she presented herself and her brand and [ __ ] and her herself care and consideration for herself and you know particularly her values around money in abundance as well and what’s so amazing about it is that a lot of people would
(1:25:45) would say to themselves like up she’s trying to sell me something and then on another level they’d be like oh you mean these these are levels of thought processes right like on the first level we were just totally shut down why would we even care about this next level this is a marketing presentation I hate that level three what well she’s saying some useful information maybe I should listen to it and she did she gave really actionable stuff okay like that’s good you know that’s that’s pretty good you’re not you
(1:26:14) know you’re not hating her for being there so that’s a bonus and then like up from there is the meta information around her information because she’s taught us the technique the technique is good but then we have all of the rest of it so we have her brand we have the way she presents herself we have the that she’s an incredible public speaker we had the little comment she made about the gross of her business and how she’s like double doors you know some ridiculous number in a short period of
(1:26:44) time and then we have how she was able to present her thing like oh my god it’s so good everybody should do it in a genuine way now that’s hard to come by you know and if you’re studying sales like actually that kind of enthusiasm about you and your product that’s hard to do like for me in particular even though I know the product is good it’s still like oh my god oh my god oh my god and you know she’s clearly spent a lot of time unraveling that and trying to get past that but the point about what
(1:27:21) I’m getting at is and it’s long-winded is that there’s different levels that you can be operating on in any given time and you have to honor where you’re at but then look up and think about everything else that’s going that are getting near results because it might not be what you think it is right actually no good place for themselves great yeah I know I don’t know how we got an hour and a half of that one thing but I like it just wonderful I always enjoy I am so next time when we talk about
(1:28:04) attention it’s just again that’s my next my next tip I’m excited because fellas you your greatest commodity is not your penis sorry to say oh this is gonna be so good we definitely have to stop you guys so yeah thank you guys over to Nanette man I could said I got me got me going I can’t stop trains trains going oh but I want to thank you guys for tuning in man really appreciate it thank you so much Elizabeth oh thank you Robert it’s a pleasure absolutely and I hope you guys enjoy this I’m all winded Alex I just poured
(1:28:51) out everything out I’m tired and meet you I’m gonna go to bed like that’s what you’re supposed to feel though that’s how it feels when you find your thing man let’s say it was that let it kill you man you could pour out it just it’s it changes everything there’s four fellas man it’s just telling me you get that thing the chickens that sinners you and it you can just build out from there oh I wish I could make it bill you know for all Elizabeth listeners and her clients God
(1:29:21) if you if you knew if you knew like if you just believed her there’s some things that even with me knowing all of this stuff and knowing Elizabeth there’s still things leverage she can pull that I’m gonna respond to and she’s telling you that and she’s telling you all of these things like I don’t like she probably I don’t know if I feel comfortable telling you things that she wants to marry I’m the worst magician in that I’m gonna tell you about the true and how I’m doing it well I’m doing it
(1:29:51) on you it’s like I mean hope I can catch I can catch a Jedi mind trick I mean there’s just certain things that just work you know because I’m a human male and there’s certain things I’m just naturally gonna respond to it sends funny out loud we just don’t believe it so if you believe her then you’ll live in a paradigm that you never thought was possible but you know so I don’t know maybe you need to hear from a guy because you know she’s telling you things that I just I don’t know well
(1:30:22) thank you so much that’s incredibly generous I always I just enjoy your talk tonight I really I really like that we get together and do this for sure so yeah wrap it up man it’s again enjoy watching a week you’re a night-and-day wherever you are in the world and we will talk to you next time thank you Robert