Modern Dating Tips For Men Part 1

(This transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.)

hey what’s going on guys welcome to the Orion group podcast I’m Robert Dunn and I’m here as missing I had really changed on Thursday so that’s high in other days of the week is when I time is my presence whether it’s very flattering the Sun rises and sets with Elizabeth that’s Wednesday’s aren’t the same without you that’s gold yeah thank you guys over to the end I really appreciate it as you should already know I have Ms. Elizabeth Stone on tonight and we are going to be discussing or and
(00:47) they’re discussing really I’m gonna give my dating tips that I promised last time around I’m super excited about it too like it’s been two years I’m so excited it’s a lot of pressure now but she finally did it a horrible build-up it’s just that I’ve been giving dating tips like every time like so much that people are probably tired of it but the point is that I’m really excited to hear yours I’m glad with somebody’s excited the only person I I can hear right now is you so that’s
(01:25) all that matters right but yeah you can go to our website the Arango podcast calm you took all our stuff there but without further ado yes like I said I’ve been really I don’t really do this man yeah I’m really kind of against it personally I don’t know why I don’t know why I was such a is it your against giving the advice or that you’re against solidifying the advice once a good question oh sure I should have to think about that to be honest I actually it’s actually a really good question if I just were just to put
(02:05) it out there I don’t know I probably would just say I’m against probably solidifying it yeah that’s what I suspected yeah I guess I I don’t know like it’s been you’ve been exposed to a lot you know when you just start now you just think you know everything yes I remember it was really great I’ve been fortunate to been exposed to a lot and a lot of different people a lot of different things and so I guess I’m just extremely I’ve always been hesitant because except once you see something
(02:40) work and it’s not supposed to work but it does like what do you do with that right or you see things that you see a different time situations you see people it worked for people in a lot of different ways you see it fail for people in a lot of different ways and sure there are consistencies that are common but most of those are pretty much pretty much out there I thought most of the stuff is common sense but nevertheless there are some things that I did think about and I do think about consistently when it comes to this kind
(03:08) of thing and it’s not that I don’t want to take responsibility for it but at the same time I’m just really I almost had think about a soul differently or come at us so differently but I’m just you know cautious about how I how I go about things I’ve been burned so many times by just thinking I knew something right I think you get exposed to a different you know something doing it differently and you see certain things work or whatever the case may be so yeah me too me too well I was noticing today literally
(03:41) today I was writing about I’m creating the me to my next my next version of my program right and I noticed how hesitant I was to put anything into like a solid format which is why I asked you the question because before you know after maybe you know years ago when I got started I was like Oh gung-ho about like ten reasons why and so you know and I still occasionally write things like that but the point is that you’re right and with experience it all gets a little bit more fuzzy and a little bit more you know it’s like once
(04:23) once you pee somebody turns expert they become a little bit more gray about everything myself – I see why you’re like this because in the beginning it’s like well black and white here yeah this is it and then you learn more and realize that there’s actually a lot of situations out there that really are you know can’t be explained or whatever like you mentioned right exactly and so but yeah but now I’m gonna attempt I guess this is more for the fellas obviously I can’t really but at the same time really
(04:58) what I the the way I decided to approach this was really what I’ve learned from women and not necessarily learn from women from the standpoint of asking their advice but just seeing how women over the years in so many different situations what just what’s consistent what stands out no matter who I was talking to no matter who I was dealing with no matter what race culture part of the country there’s certain things that did stand out and obviously through my own personal experience my own personal
(05:32) life with kind of what I’ve seen growing up and all of that all of that is thrown into this and so it was really I did take some time to really think about this I create kind of two weeks of saying last week all for Thanksgiving so I actually did give me some time cuz at first I come just brought down some stuff but then I was like wait a minute hey so I got a chance to kind of go back and really think about it and so these are the few things that I jotted down that I would want if I could say anything these are probably what I would
(06:00) say alright building up a tree spacious I’m so excited yes like a kid on Christmas [Music] so the first before actually you don’t say first because really what this is is before I would even talk to guys about women I would talk to them about purpose I think for men and for us as in boys going into men I think before you even really start talking about bringing a woman into your life I think you have to have something that anchors you that isn’t a woman because and there’s a lot of reasons for this but more than
(06:48) anything it’s that because the way we’re wired because of the way we’re building because what and what women find attractive in us it’s it’s important for us to stay balanced in a way that it’s very hard to do without having something some what I always say something that we’re trying to produce right like an overriding goal I can override and go something that is that takes our gifts our talents our energy and places it into something that actually gives back to us right something that we can put
(07:26) into the world something that we can put into ourselves that represents who we are all right identity yeah and this is why you can see so many men get really thrown off and really tore up when they do lose a job or something like that but really what I’m talking about it’s not necessarily a job I think there’s a difference between job and work because you can help absolutely yeah you can be fired from a job right but absolutely you can never be fired from your work you can never fire Tiger Woods
(07:57) right you can’t fire me you can’t you’re right you can’t fire Elizabeth I mean one of you can but not if the world can’t fire me first right I love it because it’s the job you know it’s the thing it’s the work all right it’s the thing it’s the work it’s the purpose it’s the reason why it’s it’s what has your everyone talks about find your passion find your passion but I think it’s yeah I don’t necessarily like that just because I think that’s rides more on
(08:27) emotion right and it sounds very like you could just decide that you are passionate about something else or you know you because you can be passionate about different things you know over the course of a lifetime all right right but purpose really does kind of sum it up because you’re not gonna love everything about what your what your purpose is you know you’re not gets not always going to be great it’s not always going to be amazing you’re always gonna enjoy all the different elements of it but overall
(09:01) it gives something to you that is priceless alright that’s that that there’s nothing that can give you that sense of self-worth that being able to have something that you can call your own something that your gifts and your talents and your personality fit and yeah never underestimate the power of finding something that fits you you know I’m not talk about something that you just love or I see you’re passionate about but a fit oh my gosh I don’t know I can just start talking about that forever because it’s like that when you
(09:32) put that key in that lock and it fits perfectly like that click alright there’s nothing like finding where you fit there’s nothing like not having to apologize for you know always being misunderstood or having to hide certain elements of your personality because it just doesn’t work with the environment that you’re in no I’m talking about finding that place that like you truly feel like you were born to do this because everything about you seems to promote whatever that thing is absolutely absolutely I can I could
(10:04) collapse that but it’s so hard when you don’t have that in your life because it really does seem like a meaningless log tour nowhere without that but also you know people can sabotage themselves when they’re worried that they don’t you know they’re doing their purpose so we don’t want to make you feel bad if you haven’t found it yet but the the thing about the purpose for a man I think is that the danger is that you’ll make your purpose into your relationship right instead and
(10:34) then it will creep over there and it will end up being your relationship and then you’ll end up very much in trouble that’s what a lot of men do and it’s it’s really a supplement and well that’s what we do because when men were inherently built to almost need that purpose like thing in our life oh yeah because you need a goal massive energy without a goal is just a very very dangerous thing right we’re always trying to produce a result and that doesn’t shut off just because we don’t
(11:02) find that thing and so if we don’t find it it’s not like okay we can just don’t you know put that you know part of us and dormant mode we’re just gonna make that into something else and a lot of times we’ll do that with women in addictions other things absolutely it’s very the most dangerous man on the planet is just a man without purpose because like Elizabeth just said you have all this energy that you’re gonna have to do something with you’re going to put it somewhere what did Einstein
(11:31) say energy energy doesn’t get destroyed or created it just gets manipulated it just moves right just changes it doesn’t you know it’s always going to be there it’s but something is going to happen to it so as men we learn real quick that if it doesn’t you know our energy is going to go somewhere I’ll just keep it pg-13 all right it’s true it’s very true and if you Center your energy on your relationship it will not last because we would love it if you did I mean I’m not I’m certainly not knocking having a very
(12:07) relationships in our life I’m a big fan of that but when it comes to being fulfilled as a man you need a purpose yes absolutely there’s just I just don’t think you’ll ever really be able to be the man you need in your relationships in general not just with your woman book with just the people in your life in general I don’t know if like guys understand this because we know what it’s like to have men in our lives we don’t have that and you see how different it is and how different the the nature of the other
(12:40) relationship is and so this is just such an important thing you’re talking about because what it means to be a man and such a big question or such a big you know statement and I don’t know I don’t really understand affiliate they can answer that but if there’s any starting ground if there’s any base if there’s any foundational thing that we need to have as men is to be able to have a reason why we need to have a why we need to know why we’re doing what we are doing and again if that could be really
(13:17) good for family and a lot of things men have done over the centuries has been for their family so like Elizabeth which is saying having your relationship being a big part of who you are it’s not inherently a bad thing men have gone a war to protect their families all right and so it’s not the that cannot be something very motivating and very healthy but ultimately you as a man are going to need that that thing for you that’s just for you that that gives you that overrides everything else because things are gonna fall and rise
(13:53) you know around you at all times regardless but to have something that’s stable I think it’s so important for a man to have that stability is so important because we our stability our job is to bring stability when it’s healthy anyways when we’re healthy we bring stability into situations right yes women feel safe and her man is stable now stability my madness I’d be attractive to women when you’re you know 13 14 years old cuz stability can be boring right so it’s not it’s not
(14:25) attractive at all stages but believe me fellas when with the stages that it is attractive and it’s very attractive and stability is something that you have to represent almost at a certain stage in your life where a certain level of maturity and the best way to begin that stability not only you know cuz you need emotional stability you need sexual stability need stability in a lot of different ways but the best place to start is stability within your identity it’s I can’t stress this enough you need
(14:59) to have stability in your identity because men are not valuable what we can’t use what we’re not stable in all right right whatever I don’t care what you’re good at all we care what you can do consistently that’s all that’s the only thing we chose that was so quotable that’s so good yeah write that down if you need to but I can’t use any weak as men we can’t we that’s maturity for us it’s stability if you needed to keep on the most simplest form possible that every guy listening can understand
(15:39) consistency any area in your life that you’re not consistent in is is not valuable to you or to anybody else and you cannot polarize feminine chaos energy if you can’t be stable because feminine energies chaos energy so you have to think about it like you are you know becoming the catalyst for something that is absolutely not going to make sense to you so you better you better have your mind on straight and even women instinctually will test your stability we can’t afford to have you go off the deep end and try to kill us
(16:25) because you will overpower us most of the time so we need that kind of stability and we you know if when we don’t mean to time not when when Robert says we will test you we will test you but it’s not like we sit down and have a council of elders who decides the test you know we just do it intentionally because we’ll see you know can we be inconsistent and you still act consistent you know can we be can we like test your limits or push you what will you do how will you enter because I want to find you know 25 calls from the
(16:58) middle of the night because I didn’t respond to you and the the certain perfect okay and I wake up to this an onslaught because then I know you unstable for the pickup artist community its this is what [ __ ] tests are yeah it’s not we set out the thing that people get a little bit messed up about this is that it’s not that we set out to test you it’s that we naturally do it and well just to see to what you’re like and you know we don’t say like let’s torture the guy we don’t like it up at
(17:37) night you know scheming it’s just that when we find out that you are not what we thought you are that is very very bad for us it’s bad for us biologically it’s bad for us socially and so we need you to maintain a certain level of stability in order for there to be a relationship at all otherwise a container will close absolutely oh man you said so much right there that I just I got a well because from from our standpoint it’s not safe to create children with you or to create a relationship with you or to continue
(18:13) to show up for you as in their inner in stay in our feminine if we have to go into our masculine to rescue you because we can’t act Matt we can’t act feminine so you can’t go into your feminine and become really really inconsistent and then and then get the benefit of us staying in our feminine which is just the world so one thing that people don’t understand when they get all weird and flaky is that if she can’t respect you she can’t stand her math her inner feminine if she starts to respect you
(18:48) that I mean she goes into her masculine to take care of it oh God every guy knows exactly I mean if you’re over the age of 15 you’ve dealt at least with the one woman who either stopped respecting you or you’ve had to be around a woman who doesn’t respect you and it’s again it like Elizabeth said it’s not so much you know it’s not necessarily a conscious thing you know it’s not it’s not so much that it’s intentional they’re consciously intentionally trying to you know behave a certain way towards
(19:17) you but there’s so many evolutionary reasons that’s why she needs to know that you are who you say you are or what she believes you are all right yes and when a woman doesn’t respect you exactly she immediately you know when a woman doesn’t respect you because your femininity goes away immediately and she because she has to go into her masculine to protect herself we all have both everybody so if she has to go into her masculine to protect herself you’re not going to get that feminine that you enjoy so this is why
(19:52) again it’s so important that before you start talking to guys about women you have to start talking about the guys about their own identity and you got to start talking to them about their own value and what’s important to them and where to put that energy and how to make it into something because we’ve seen men when we when men put that energy towards good things they can get out of any situation time and time again every year like the NFL Draft every year and you hear the same story about this kid in a
(20:21) terrible horrible you know growing up environment but yet is now an NFL why because you can get that energy pointed towards the right direction it can do we you know we can do that masculine energy can can really create a world and it has all right right and that’s yes that’s exactly what great but at the same time you see the same story pointed towards the other word and you could say the same guy who can be an NFL player can also be a professional criminal it just depends where he’s going to decide to
(20:48) put that energy and so if we and I know a lot of the ways we try to get men to redirect that energy towards a good way is a lot of times it’s very unsuccessful because if men don’t have other men telling them how to do this because what happens a lot of times that women ultimately have to start taking on that role and because that again living in the masculine energy is not something a woman wants to do consistently or is really built to do consistently it’s gonna be very hard for her to relate to
(21:27) you in a way that that that you need to be related to the feminine and the masculine are both important but they both have different roles right yes and so for format because again there’s so many things that you grow up as a man and you learn so much from it well if you had a dad but if you didn’t have a dad you just learn from the guys around you right and the older guys that you’re around and so depending on what you get in that bubble it can determine so much and the guys live because there’s just
(21:57) certain things he’s not gonna be able to talk to women about it so I think he can’t talk to his mom about there’s certain things he doesn’t understand about himself that the only we’re the place to goes it’s the other men who are you know dealing with the same thing and this isn’t something we do obviously you know there’s no age group that I can point you to like yeah you know I’m sure maybe you know child psychologist can break it down but it’s just there’s just
(22:21) certain moments throughout a guy’s life where certain things are important to him and knowing how to manage that if there isn’t a male role model there too who understands what he’s going through then it’s it can be very dangerous and men good men are dangerous because we have to do something with this energy right so it’s I want you to not look at men from a standpoint of the testosterone away it looks from the outside as much as that it’s just energy that’s all it is and if we can direct it
(22:58) towards certain things then again we can build the Taj Mahal or we can build a present but we’re gonna build one of them right you’re gonna compete conquer and control something all right something is going to be conquered something in control so yeah so yeah that would be my first so purpose it’s number one number one great overriding principle you know and even you can put a slash and just put identity again you know it could take a lifetime and how were you talking about earlier purpose isn’t something you you
(23:35) come up you know day one it could definitely it’s definitely something that’s progressive it’s definitely something that has to be fumbled around with a little bit because you got to try different things you got to see there’s around me I know guys who have you don’t want it to be cops I went through the whole program then got to a point where just like yeah it’s not really a fit it’s you know it’s got it we gotta have that Center this is the truth fit for us and and so if that you
(24:04) have to go through that process and we some of us have to do it like that that’s fine but keep going and find that thing so that you now have something to build around right cuz you can’t know what’s right for you until you know what’s true for you all right true yeah absolutely all right here we go so number two mm-hmm I don’t know if I should do this one first or the next one I’m not sure which one I’ll probably be a better order I think it’ll be perfect either way well when it comes to women I
(24:43) think what a lot of guys what I would or what tip I would get I got six really aren’t tips in terms of how to get women is these are tips and more of how to build yourself and how to understand yourself and understand what’s important when you go into dating situations and so number two I would say it’s something that we’ve talked about consistently for the vision for the last couple weeks Elizabeth nine anyways and that’s the importance of what chemistry means to women I know Elizabeth has said multiple
(25:17) times that when she’s taught the women about it she didn’t a lot of times are shocked that we don’t engage with chemistry in the same way you guys do right do we get chemistry for women absolutely but I would say it’s more of a actually listen what would you say would be more of since you gotten to look at it from your side of it what would you say what would be of the equivalent for chemistry for a man in your opinion it’s it’s a little bit of an addiction it’s an addictive kind of a attraction but I
(25:51) don’t mean that in the negative way I mean that more like men get addicted to women they get addicted to their presence they you know kind of I mean you definitely have a chemical reaction to us but the more you you know bond with us the more you are at risk of getting depressed and pushing away from us so we kind of go the opposite way and that we get you know we have a hormonal problem if we you know you keep interacting with us and then you go away so I guess the corollary really is that until you’re going through andropause
(26:28) which is in your fifties you can’t understand what it’s like for us to have chemistry for you until you can bond with us through the chemical pathways and which starts at that time so you won’t be able to understand it and we won’t be able to understand what it’s really like to have just no strings anything with you until our 50s when we stop having running on the same chemical system as well with that in mind why I really think is it so important for guys to understand is because you’d be
(27:03) surprised I would say probably about prob about 75 to 80 percent of initial dating issues that men have I want to make sure i underscore that initial dating issues like when we’re just talking about in the dating realm talking about guys who are trying to figure out or trying to get women trying to date women trying to you know in that like the first time like right away right the initial stage I would say that that is a very high percentage for chemistry issues as an men don’t think that chemistry they don’t we don’t
(27:46) believe that it’s that important all right we don’t believe that it has the significance that it does for how women go about getting involved with men well because you know you can’t feel it it’s like non-existent for you why would you think it was important because you can’t you don’t know what how would you know what it is right and or what it means or what it implies I mean we just it’s not even possible for you to decode that you know it’s like you know you’d like being it
(28:18) you know worried about the temperature on Mars like why why would why would we care about that we can’t feel that and it’s not something that is taught to us consciously or subconsciously or subliminal subliminally or in a subliminal way it’s one of these things that when women are brought to us from a standpoint of always needing to grow it with you that’s how it always comes to us initially so every man’s default or is every man’s but the majority of men are default firmware source main our
(28:55) firmware I was having this is definitely a software issue play the way it’s usually brought to us is that it’s a court you know the courting method right like that’s how you go about women you court women you get women to fall in love with the UDM you say nice things sweet nothings or whatever and it what you can work rich right which could work but the problem is when you have immediate chemistry for a guy we don’t know what to do with that no and it looks insane to you you can’t since you
(29:28) don’t experience it and can’t really do it with your body because it’s a body related thing and it just seems like we’re crazy unfortunately the thing is also as well is that most men do not experience that initial hard core chemistry with the woman that’s probably only about 30 to 35 percent of men ever actually have those type of experience most men experience with that kind of chemistry is seen at happy to another guy yeah listen so even so even that’s even worse because if it’s
(30:06) not even happening to you then you can’t really mean right it’s like second degree this is the problem with them how I also have women think about men but just how kind of society poor tradesmen because we in society portrays men like so every romantic comedy is the same thing with men he’s the guy who’s sleeping with all these different women so he finally meets this girl and now he wants to settle down and stop his no sleeping around one night stand’ ways right some form of that story anyways
(30:34) right which can happen and it happens frequently oh it does it just doesn’t happen frequently to a lot of men it happens frequently to about 20% of men well what it is is it’s the story that everybody wants to have like perfect like I tamed the bad boy and now he’s mine like that’s very enticing for you know the conquerors out there yeah and it’s very enticing and sense of that oh yeah every guy is just you know just you know dealing with all these different women he just you know while he’s
(31:06) fighting about why he’s sleeping for a woman every weekend he’s waiting for the one no no dude is not you like fielding a million calls from from women and like you know actively being a player out there oh and then enjoying that too like the the movies always make it like oh yeah it’s so awesome like no no even if you’re one of the few that can experience it it turns out it’s not actually that awesome but sometimes men have to get to the point where they can achieve that in order to know how not
(31:39) awesome it is right the problem is what it takes for that the guy to achieve that can put so much he would have to add so much on to him that’s not inherently authentic that this is how you get these predatorial victims because these are guys who feel like they’ve been victimized by not having access to it the extreme of it would be an N cell right yes that’s the extreme side of this but if we’re just talking about the average guy that averaged guy is your to be that guy who gets responded to
(32:16) from in that high chemistry way and so he goes to you can go to youtube you go to pickup artist type of teaching to teach you how to act like the guy who’s getting responded to that way cuz that’s how it’s that’s how it’s shown to us it’s not you know that’s how it’s portrayed to us that’s how we get taught it we don’t get taught how to be authentically us we get taught that this happens because women respond to this behavior this being this is where red pill comes in as well
(32:49) right this is where a woman’s evolutionary nature is going to respond to so the guys that she’s responding to like this usually have it naturally like good looks or you know just a natural abundant mindset you know confidence all this type of thing and so they put those things on but it’s not them yet they haven’t internalized it yet right but you can fake it and these are some of the worst kind of guys in the world not because they’re so horrible but because they can do so much damage if they don’t if it’s not true
(33:23) for them you know and I’m not talking my just damaged with women but damaged within themselves right so an ownership of those new assets that we’ve acquired because we are going after this quest right the thing about it is that achievement is empty so you know once you get to the top of the you know the heap then you have to ask yourself like well what have I done when I’ve gotten here now the good good coaches will make sure that they work with the purpose thing first so that once you get up there and
(33:52) once you get everything you want you aren’t then dissatisfied because that’s the worst situation for both them and you to be in because they got you everything you wanted but you’re still not happy and so this is a tough one because this is very hard to resist as a guy it’s very hard to resist the idea that you can be of that guy well and if you are that guy you know that is just a new set of problems so you know but you can’t modify how you smell to women you know or whether you know they’re feeling it
(34:28) for you genetically any other way than you know getting to know them because I don’t know I’ve met some absolutely wonderful people that I wish I had chemistry for wish I mean just like Oh too bad and that’s it so one thing to understand is that if you don’t have that if she just doesn’t have that chemistry for you don’t internalize that she just don’t you can’t feel it chemically for you that’s like you know you don’t smell right to her you had to you know baby Nature doesn’t like puppy
(34:57) mills there were too many people close to you on the you know an evolutionary chain and she’s just not smelling it like like a lot for example a lot of my relatives are were from Missouri right and I moved to Missouri as an adult and I noticed you know dating there that I was meeting a lot of people who a look like and be I have felt nothing for like to the point where it would have been like just you know smacking two fish together in the knife like it’s horrible but they’re objectively these were nice
(35:33) people and they were checked all the blocks but it’s really something you can’t control so don’t beat up on yourself if this just isn’t your world with this particular woman and that’s the thing because we beat up on ourselves because and that’s where guys lose a lot yeah this is where guys that guy can’t get her if it’s just like banging two fish together a lot of the a lot of men’s communities who are because there’s two sides of men’s communities there’s a men’s community that deals
(36:03) with female evolutionary nature those mints communities that deal with female kind of like some more spiritual essence nature of women right YouTube you know just like we all have those two versions of ourselves we at times but and so the side of us the side of the men’s communities that deal with just women’s spiritual nature of it is it has its problems because they don’t they don’t even want to acknowledge that women have an evolutionary side of them okay but the other side of the men’s communities who
(36:37) deal with primarily that evolutionary side of women get hooked on it because it fits like you’ve talked about before it fits us better because that’s more quantifiable yes very procedural we had an evolutionary knowledge and it’s a really nice place to start because as a coach if I quickly tell you the evolutionary things I’ll clean up a lot of your problems oh that’s you know the greatest gift I could give men or women is we would be to teach both of us about the others evolutionary side first yeah because
(37:12) then it just D personalizes the whole game like it’s it isn’t just like people are randomly doing stuff to you same time it’s very dangerous because it came like four guys anyways why this is so important is because when we learn about this they men can get so perplexed and jaded because it feels like 80% of men are pretty much out of the game because that’s how when you talk about it it seems like women are really naturally going to dis are not going to consider a large percentage of the men population
(37:50) and it’s very hard for men who feel like they’re just an average guy and they feel like they’re not gonna be able to bring the other half to the table and it be enough right right well and we at the same time we have an abundance of choice and the illusion of choice so what I’m getting at there is that we have the idea that you know you can look around and see all these advertising messages all day long about how you’re not enough good enough you don’t have this you don’t you know you’re not that guy and
(38:24) we can see so much more of that than we ever could before before you could just look at the one in the tribe and think well you know I’d like to be a little taller but now you can look at you know just have a sample size and you’re overcome with examples that aren’t you but if you go out into your regular world or you’re fishing in your own pond you actually don’t have that much choice it seems like you do but you actually don’t so don’t get mad at yourself because you know you you
(38:59) just don’t whatever your perception of it is incorrect no matter what your perception is so you know you can let go of a lot of this comparison just by realizing that there’s actually not it’s not like we’re just going through our day you know most women are not like spinning our day beating men off of us like we’re not it’s not like we get hit on so often you know every second of every day that you don’t have a chance like I said it’s you know it’s really hard to get guys out of this out of that
(39:33) place once they get there because again I could say it just so it’s very good it’s just proves how much of an idealistic version of love we really do have it’s because when we get hit with this reality of it it it’s so hard not to just allow that to be the hole right but again this is something that we cannot internalize is something we cannot take so personally but again if there were that easy I guess everybody would do it right but when it comes to chemistry when it comes to just women’s
(40:14) evolutionary nature in general this is something that you have to be aware of because a lot of men spend a lot of time on women who don’t have chemistry for them and I have there’s anything that I could get men to stop doing its that that’s true this is really where this point comes from like that’s really the whole reason why I put this down there’s because so there’s anything I can help 80% of men of doing dealing with women that don’t have chemistry for you well and if she genuinely uses the f-word with you like
(40:46) she genuinely uses the friend word with you nothing not ever you were thinking no the friend word and means it and you don’t get that like little vibe yeah you know what I mean but she has actual chemistry for you it’s it it’s over call it in that’s all because if she saw you as a viable partner and had chemistry for you you would know that’s it see that’s the thing about it because you could tip me tell guys this all the time like fellows come on now we know when it’s not there when you talk to
(41:20) guys who are in the situation it’s not that they’re suddenly ignorant about it but they can’t let go of that ideal is the idealism of it they can’t let go of the fact that like no this is how it goes though right and then you know she finally realizes that the guy isn’t the one he was because I’m telling you guys are reward-based creatures the of this is why video games work that’s why everything that gets created for guys has to get created with this formula and it works you know I mean it just worked
(41:49) goals yes achievements competing-conquering controlling all of that and so when God and a lot of women will kind of get told this in our own way to like you know yeah God needs to you know needs to work for it because he’ll get bored you know he doesn’t guy with me to feel like he needs to earn it cuz even women have picked up on this and he does so I mean I agree he does but that doesn’t mean that because he does you could should keep working for it even when she doesn’t have chemistry for you because you’ll just be a really
(42:19) great friend that she appreciates but doesn’t you know what it is just so hard for guys to do that I mean if there’s anything that I can’t for the life of me it’s and that’s this is one of the things that if you talk to any real dating coach I would have to say that this one of those things even though I’m not one X I don’t do this but there’s anything that that keeps me or something I’ve never seen guys who do well with women do is they don’t stick with they don’t put energy into women who don’t
(42:50) have chemistry for them see a lot of guys think that the Chad’s never find women that they don’t have that every woman likes them what they do is they keep their opportunities to open and they diversify a lot yeah you like I tell women all the time add more men like if you have a problem add more men and I tell meant the same thing about women if you have a woman problem add more women all right and that was probably one of the most most eye-opening experiences I’ve ever had because I was probably 15
(43:23) but there was this guy that older dudes dating around and like this dude cuz he was just always had oh the women that we just at the time thought were just you know the baddest women or whatever and but when I realized is that after talking to him and really like seeing how he operated he got rejected a lot like he’s willing to do it that’s why it works for him like exactly like the more you get rejected the more you’re getting closer to your goal as a man and that’s what is so funny because I I know so
(43:58) many men think that I never thought it was like that you don’t think it’s like that well me outside but when you see is like now I got rejected a lot he just was like okay moved on he just goes out of it in a mentally different model so he like chose the mental model that if I just keep getting rejected eventually yes that’s a good salesman it’s what it is right I just can’t go I didn’t know didn’t take it personal was just like there’s always you know just an abundance mindset about it right yes and
(44:24) fellas you gotta have that bun in mindset because what keeps us stuck on women is that scarcity mindset it’s that one it’s against that idealism and again on some end the idea of wanting a relationship in 1 in 11 all that that’s great but spending so much time on women who just don’t have it for you thinking that you’re gonna get some prize as being the guy I call GOG tell the story this is where all those brutal stories but it’s so perfect for this situation because this is the quintessential
(44:56) situation that happens so I knew this girl who excuse her and her boyfriend were or she was mad at her boyfriend because he didn’t want to go to her family’s house for like a Christmas or Thanksgiving right it was like now I’m not going and she was mad at him because you know not wanting to go but he his family was really political and whatever political side was not his side and at one time he didn’t want to deal with it you know he was like so many there cuz you know and I knew her family I knew
(45:27) they were like that I knew they would you know I knew how they were I knew you know and he did so I knew completely I understand completely what why he didn’t want to go he was like you know what let’s just for this we can just split and you know he’s wasn’t trying to make a big deal out of it but you know she wasn’t happy about it and so she was talking to her her a guy friend and of course he was you know couldn’t believe that he wouldn’t come and know that I did the whole guy friend thing just had
(45:54) so many guy friends do right and he was like all come and so she took the guy friend to to her family’s family’s house car for dinner ok or didn’t care he just went I was I don’t know where I think he came to our house or something I don’t know where he came with us somewhere but he used with us he’s like great to take him so she took you know he came and you know the guy friend was all happy about it you know I mean cuz he thought he was in he thought he was oh no he did the whole guy friend thing and so you went
(46:25) there and you know we’re at the family cells they’re Evan you know they’re family thing or whatever and then she calls her boyfriend why she’s there you know and she’s kind of like okay I’m sorry that he was like all right you know she like no where you age like I’m over here like oh you’re like oh come pick me up she’s like all right so she leaves to go pick up the boyfriend tells the guy friend to just uber home and leaves her family’s house leaves the guy friend at the family’s to house comes to
(46:54) where we were and picks up the boyfriend they go do whatever they are gonna do right and so my mind I was just imagining cuz she told us that she that dude was just sitting there at her family’s house and I just a my mind thinking I can’t that’s how you create in cells that’s how you create angry jaded men and it could be so preventable strictly because of how he thinks about women right well he did it to himself exactly and this is what guys don’t understand there do to themselves she did not change the
(47:26) rules on him no he changed the rules on her and this is guy friend game this yeah the whole we have nice guys this is why we have nice guys good guys turn to nice guys because of these situations and they’re preventable but they happen because of the mindset you win at her in a way that that her girlfriend would go after her sneaked in there in one day she realizes that’s not what you do not do a surrogate Thanksgiving and then like act like a boyfriend and get boyfriend wait no but this is how so many guys think they’re going about it
(48:09) thinking they’re building up boyfriend points by one trash and her boyfriend or true you know just doing you know being there for her and all that kind of stuff then they get left the house you know dude is sitting at her house at her family’s house she believes like she believes the guy to go pop her boyfriend and he has to go home so I’m like and I’m like of course that’s what she did wrong with her doing that actually and the reason I don’t is because it’s not up to her to manage his game no and this
(48:41) is the problem though that’s why this is so why don’t it won’t say why don’t give advice but this is the advice that you you because you have to change the mindset you can tell him why that didn’t go down well but he truly thinks that this is how it happens right this is how you get women to love you and that’s why so many guys are so angry right now this is why red pill is so attractive to so many guys is because they’re telling guys this is why cuz their boyfriend was a boyfriend over there was Chad and this
(49:21) is what he was doing and you need to be like him because you being like this is just a straight beta male no one wants your genes I mean and they go at it in the way work kid it could be helpful God just ends up angry because now no not only does he know what he did wrong but now he thinks he’s a beta male now he thinks he’s you know right and he feels that shame of what he experienced all over his body all over his body all bow you’re not even considered and so the guy reads something like that and
(49:52) then he goes into straight opposite MO right and now he’s cussing her out every woman has probably been cussed out by a guy friend at least once yep yeah familiar with it right you all know what this is if you’re giving we just think that you’re giving to give to us like we don’t actually you know I mean and there’s that there’s an element of like oh like he might want something else or whatever but we don’t we just don’t see it like that because we would have an enjoyable time at our girlfriends
(50:25) Thanksgiving we would not be sad about that you know oh okay you have to go whatever I mean it might bum us out a little bit did she took off but the point wouldn’t be that we would be there with a goal in mind we just be doing our evening you know that’s not you know we would have be having an a goal-oriented Thanksgiving we’re gonna win you over well during the turkey cutting you know but there’s a fundamental miss attribution of the value of effort in this activity as for the fellows out there man you we could get ourselves
(51:03) into we would have to talk it would move us to stop backdooring women and this is about everybody stop now you gotta stop backdooring because this is how you find yourself in this situation this is how you find yourself on the internet talking about how guys girls hate nice guys and all of it nobody wants to be no guy wants to be that guy no guy wants to be associated with that guy and it’s we swear that is just only a certain amount of guys who will ever be able to live enjoyable lives with women and 80 percent of us will just have to
(51:48) just settle for scraps and that’s really how it gets portrayed to us once you start going down those type of routes but if there’s anything that we can stop doing is just stop being and direct with women because we’re so direct which NAT which is so natural for us which is the funny thing so you we literally have to override something in order to go down the backdoor way and then – we have to stop thinking that the chemistry isn’t important it is when a girl when a woman a girl does not have that for you and
(52:22) she does not have that for you and that’s okay and that’s a good thing because that she’s not for you and that’s not gonna make good babies is not gonna make a baby that’s gonna be bad gonna be bad time she’s not gonna want you see you know I mean it’s just women can be raw when it comes to the chemistry we’ll keep you together when you guys hate each other so you want that to be there because when things aren’t going super when somebody loses their job when somebody loses their you
(52:54) know their looks or something if you guys still have chemistry there’s a hope but if there’s no chemistry to begin with that’s we’re going a divorce court so don’t make bad bets so betting badly as a man is betting on somebody you don’t have chemistry for and thinking because you guys get along or whatever it’s gonna work it won’t because of the bad time we do not have to stay together anymore for the kids we are not in a position so chemistry is glue so get somebody who has it for you
(53:23) even if you have to deal with it being a little uncomfortable for a while yeah because that’s the other end of it it can be very uncomfortable and a lot of guys don’t realize because do you I can always tell a guy who doesn’t have it because he always wants it but he wants it in a way that I can tell he has an experience – yes right he wants it a certain way like why doesn’t it you know what I just want her to you know only think about me today well if that’s the case it’s gonna be a hard day for you
(53:46) all right because you don’t understand when the woman has true chemistry for you it is you’ll never you’re very few things the life will carry that kind of weight we think we’re used to dealing with the way you’ve never seen the weight of a woman who has chemistry for you because guys are just not easy we know that women love a certain way you know we can see but when you experience the weight that women can bring on you and that’s for women doesn’t seem like any I just seem so normal and natural but for you as a guy
(54:16) I’m telling you it is it is very uncomfortable is one of those uncomfortable things that you’ll ever have to deal with because it is you you know you’re not there’s nothing in your life that prepares you for that and women can we we really don’t understand what you’re talking about at all even though I know about what you’re talking about like as you’re explaining this in my mind I’m like he’s absolutely correct and also that sounds crazy but in the reason that that is the case is because
(54:50) to us it seems totally just like we love you like it’s like well it’s so innocent I just love him so much I want to strangle him hey bite with my love I just want to tell them how much I love them every minute of every day and great if somebody did that to me so what is the brush yeah it’s an acquired taste man it really is and it’s a blessing it’s it’s the one of the most greatest gifts that you can be given as a man because you can’t there’s no supplement for that you when you experience it you
(55:30) realize it’s this or nothing I’ll go years without dealing with the woman if I don’t see that if I had to because that’s how valuable it is but it’s also a crazy roller coaster as Robert is it’s you know like said that thing in your life prepares you for that kind of weight and it’s very it takes most guys will run from it the first couple times cuz they don’t it’s too much yeah later they’ll find out how they can get her back and they’ll get in touch with me and be like oh my god she
(55:57) really loved me I just was afraid of that you know just didn’t know how to handle it was so uncomfortable you didn’t know you couldn’t breathe it is cuz we’re guys we always need our space so we could go just deal with stuff on our own and when you have a woman in your life like that it’s so you don’t know how to manage it yet when we think we’re being casual to even women think they’re not being that like you know that intense about it it’s still more than because they’re not
(56:24) about your intensity it’s what we’re used to experiencing exactly and and just the continual openness because you’re not used to experiencing just the container being flung open and you just do whatever you want she still loves you I mean the only other person like that is mom so lots of people like lose their whole erection and they go away and then they risk well and then they realize what they lost and then that’s when they come back so men do that all the time they go in and out because of that you
(56:52) know when it whenever it woman really loves them which is why people make a mistake when they go away like you said you know people do it or the first couple of times but on the other hand you know when he returns and she shut the door on him that’s the saddest thing ever because there’s really chemistry there and they it could be workable but because she doesn’t believe that he’s sincere then you know we miss out on something really great well I mean well we need to be careful too because a lot
(57:20) of times we go away and then we’ll go after someone because a lot of because you don’t get to choose that at the same time you don’t choose a lot of times a woman has kind of that kind of chemistry for you and what guys will do is that they go out to the world and realize how rare it actually is no matter what they know all the time because you can be an attractive dude objectively but a woman having real chemistry for you is different from her just taking you’re cute oh yes right in its massively
(57:50) different feeling for you and for her all right absolutely and so even guys will come back because there’s nothing you don’t see yo you might see that once every five years you know you may say that once every two you that you might not see it again for a while and you can go out and deal with women we don’t have it on that level for you and it’s not day and so guys are always gonna go return to where it’s like in video games we can always return to last place we die we don’t have to start out the way
(58:18) we all have to start the very beginning anymore why did video game people that they did uh you know just randomly no there’s no that’s how we are we want to return to the last place that we had success well in the other you know people give this a bad name because they think that the reason it didn’t work out is because the people were fundamentally on compatible right so they say to me you know so so people degrade the return but this thing about the return is that if you bothered to return at all you
(58:48) could be doing it for any number of reasons and then you know one of them could be that like you went back to the last place you were saved but another one could be that you realize that man I’m an idiot and that happens more more often than people kind of care to admit because it’s really like returning after you’ve been an idiot and then really meaning it is just a shame filled activity nobody wants to do it nobody wants to admit to it so it’s easier actually not to return you know if you really ought like have a conscience and
(59:24) you really like cared about that person it’s much easier to not to just be like nope that’s it I’m done I’m moving on because just admitting that you screwed up and trying to repair it is life on hardmode so people give this a bad name like oh like the easy way out is coming back that’s not true it’s I mean obviously we’re talking about depending on the circumstance but absolutely it’s you know well guys you’ll learn you’ll learn how rare this is I don’t care I don’t
(59:59) care if you’re a male model I don’t care if you are you know rich and famous and everything the ultimate alpha male guy can be you’re still seeing this rarely absolutely this is not something that you get an abundance of I guarantee you because if it did work that way you wouldn’t see all these divorces even insulae you know even on the you know what pick every pick whoever you think is the ultimate physical beauty or look and our are they walking around thinking thank God I’m I was created so hot
(1:00:34) because I have no issues in this area no I speak to and deal with a lot of very beautiful women everybody now it is our Ann Inman but mostly you know since I talked to women women beautiful women have problems too and they have like they have relationship issues they don’t you know they have the same kind of weird issues that you have it doesn’t make them any less immune to that stuff you know and and also sometimes there’s even more problems that people can’t even imagine that come with being really attractive
(1:01:12) and really magnetic to others and so it’s just a different set of problems even though it seems like nice problems to have it can be one have problems that are our problems we think that somehow they’re better people I mean you know people misunderestimated beautiful people and I’m certainly not like trying to get out you know the violin about this but the point is that you when it comes to chemistry you just don’t have control over that and it’s you know it’s easy to say okay you know it’s over and
(1:01:50) then treat people like they’re disposable but they’re not and that’s why I keep Y a reason I’m glad you said that because now I can actually put some words to why I think it’s tough for me to talk about dating tips and all that kind of stuff because um it’s more discerning a more discerning you know approach than anything else and so when you’re asking me how to get women I’m like I don’t really it’s not how I think about it that’s not how I see guys who do well with women thinking
(1:02:23) about it it’s not so much of how do I put this game on to get this particular woman it’s discerning where this woman is ad with me and every stage and then going off of that and so it’s not so much time giving the power away or I’m just putting the choice into element and it’s just there’s certain things that are important when when dealing with women just in terms of starting out right guys who I know who are a queen this isn’t good with women just don’t deal with women who don’t have desire
(1:02:54) for them you know that makes sense and not that they only think like every woman they want desires then that’s not the case but they don’t deal with women that they that they don’t desire me I have some know some guys who were just all into the game they love it they spend a lot of time on it and they’ll go out to the club every weekend they’ll go out to the bar every weekend they’re learning pickup lines and they’re learning though you know they’ll spend hundreds of dollars on outfits of you
(1:03:18) know every week to you know they get completely involved in the whole thing but just an average guy just doesn’t deal with women who doesn’t have a certain level of attraction to him or desire and he doesn’t necessarily that to him being so hot or sexy he’s understands that certainly respond to him a certain way and certain don’t could he break it down you know it and get the stats on why that is I’m sorry good but Naturals don’t really think like that no well because there’s no if
(1:03:47) you have all the choice in the world why wouldn’t you wait for something that you wanted or like if you can go to a you know an all-you-can-eat buffet why wouldn’t you pick out the food you like the best you don’t go into the buffet and worry that there’s food there you know you’re like I’ve got to eat all the food because they have it all no once you can pick anything you pick anything just it just about being it’s about exposure once you’re exposed to better it’s hard to go back to what how are you you know
(1:04:27) it’s just because you can’t get your mind around it being any other way which is what happens when you’ve changed some of these mindsets right this is why again it’s so hard to give advice because if you’re where are you as a guy have you been exposed to a genuine desire from a woman because if you have this or there’s I don’t even have to talk to you about right well I’m freaking out when she really loves you alright no freaking out when she really loves you because that’s something we
(1:04:51) could talk about right and we I understand that but if you haven’t been exposed to that you don’t think it can be like that then you think that you’re gonna have to go get taller somehow get surgery to get taller you’re gonna looks max you’re gonna have to do all of these things because you have to be Chad you know in order to that and that’s a tough mindset to get into because it’s like anything you know how do you you have to break that down and so it’s it’s hard to give
(1:05:19) out something general and I understand we got to work in general generalities just ask you know public people or having a public forum while all that kind of stuff I get that mean well and you have to expand before you get specialized right so you know we have to like open the net and then talk about general stuff and then move to you you know the individual person but the stuff that be like is most impactful is being choosy no matter what gender you are you know you just spark something because I guess this is something I can segue into now
(1:05:54) it’s just the idea of this this the abundance mindset is is it’s almost going to be impossible for you as a man to have to have a sense your own sense your own feeling your own thoughts that you are being successful if you’re not thinking of life like there’s enough of it for you yeah I think that’s true for all genders across dating for sure absolutely that one is universal because the more you tie your you know yourself to the one option the harder it’s gonna be for you and I like what you said because
(1:06:40) this isn’t a mindset not a circumstance you have don’t really understand this this is a mindset not a circumstance you can have an abundant mindset and not necessarily being in a circumstance where you’re living in the budgets absolutely you have to do you have to function like this no one if you have an abundance mindset you’re gonna have to that during seasons of life and you’re not living in abundance in certain areas of your life in order to ever achieve more absolutely or to ever achieve more
(1:07:12) because it’s the mindset that brings the abundance right but at the same time I have to be careful with that because I understand that you know we always talk about confidence how important confidence is but a confidence a lot of time does derive from options in Elsa director action – so we can tell you to be confident but if you haven’t actually gone out and acted confident in the world like done con things that scared you and created confidence it’s kind of a false you know metric absolutely and the fake
(1:07:46) confidence is the most it’s disgusting well it’s what’s air it’s really arrogance and that’s a bad thing that’s wrong but it’s good arrogance bad but arrogance is is just confidence without legs exactly arrogance is what you have you haven’t conquered anything right this is what that’s how you get confidence do you have confidence by conquering you get confidence by slaying you get confidence by setting goals and achieving them you get confidence by making by love what you said by action
(1:08:18) and this is something that’s so important for us maybe cuz it goes back to the first point before I want to say anything about women you’ve got to start getting little winds under your belt because that’s what builds you up as a man and if you don’t do that you’ll make getting women your wins right and this is why you have guys we’ve slept with hundreds of girls and they’re still not satisfied ok so you’re still not like Elizabeth says it’s empty because if you you’re gonna need to get them there’s so
(1:08:48) many guys who their identity is built on how many women they can get right and how many women they slept with and I’ve never seen top guys worry about that it’s funny the rich of the people I know the less money they spend and I think that’s hilarious you know they’ll spend money on things that are important to them right I’ve seen people put a lot of money in their house it’s good that’s their you know that’s their castle right I see you know but I’ve seen rich people who drive around in full
(1:09:17) you know Ford f-150 not even like a top model cuz he just you know you’re like okay right yeah I must spend money on some of this depreciating right so I’d be something to ride around in and that’s why I got but it’s the same well and also if you could have anything you can make the educated choice right and that’s the thing there’s just a calmness there’s a smoothness to people who actually are walking in whatever it is that they’re saying that they’re walking in right there’s a there’s an abundance
(1:09:49) there was that one movie what was a car think was with Justin Timberlake and one girl it’s called in time deer was in that movie in time I don’t think so I could remember like the poster but I don’t think it was a movie that was about how like the world has changed so much that the rich could pretty much live forever because the currency was time oh yeah you can bind so you bought and sold and they traded time and time was really you know was became the currency and in the rich part of towns was funny because everybody walked
(1:10:24) really slow and then the poor part of town everybody was running because of you’re poor you don’t have a lot of time so you have to they did it they had to do everything really fast and I thought I was really interesting analogy for kind of what we’re talking about right now because that’s exactly what it is when you see a man who has confidence he’s not doing anything quickly oh no oh god this reminds me of there was a Broadway rendition and this is a little bit off-topic but not so there
(1:10:55) was a Broadway tradition of American Psycho in New York and the lead actor went on one of the night shows and they did like a dancer team and the reason that I thought that he was so good in the role was because he was about a quarter of a second behind the rest of the cast in the dance moves which made him seem very casual and like kind of lion like and so they’re doing you know they’re singing there he’s on time I mean I’m not saying that he’s behind but what it is is it even the illusion that no matter what he
(1:11:32) was doing he was just slightly better than everybody else that’s what it is man I’m telling you it’s it’s so funny when you start looking at guys that quote in that one movie I said you know the loudest were at the loudest one in the room is the weakest one in the room and for men that’s so true and I used to you know you seen we got to school and you know her freshmen you’re seeing the butcher’s type of guys we’re always talking always talking about the game girls then you thought the really the
(1:12:01) reality of it there’s are the ones the first ones start crying right and I didn’t that’s it’s nothing like that as a kid when you see like the Playboy and you see him crying hey that kind of throws you off as a guy because it kind of exposes like oh all right yeah that’s like the worst thing that you find out who’s naked when the tide goes out right all right but it really is true and this is what you get as a man when you start to produce your own results and you start to produce results that are
(1:12:38) important to you we’re so used to produce and results for everybody else and this is where our own provider and all that comes into play but when you when you start with you first again I’m not talking about selfishness I’m talking about your own foundation because you have to understand that if you’re building a castle you got a build you you’re no only one not you’re not the only one living in it all right thank you have a Kingdom is because you are taking care of a lot of other people who are
(1:13:08) dependent on your ability to rule correctly right there’s movie after movie Game of Thrones is when I was all about the love those type of shows cuz these are the most basic archetypes most basic the best projection of how our evolutionary nature’s work all right if in the most Raw’s form and again there’s so many great qualities and men that are so natural in us but at the same time when we are we haven’t built up our own defenses for ourselves then we can be swayed and that’s usually where terrible terrible
(1:13:53) things happen in the world right Hitler didn’t couldn’t himself do everything that he did we understand that right it wasn’t he couldn’t he alone couldn’t do it he had to have other people that were willing to be able to implement this and so don’t play around with this I don’t be too dramatic about it but the point is is that as a man and you’re talking about when you go into a dating situation there should be a frame that you that you come with that a woman should want to enter yes absolutely
(1:14:30) that’s really good great amazing point no and there’s so many men to the friendzone guys story that I just told you about had the you know when he was waiting at her house that’s what men that’s what happens to men who want to enter a woman’s frame thinking that that’s the way to get her right yeah you know the container opens for you you don’t open the container you don’t go over there and like try to pry it open you have to just you know and you know it come into her space and see you
(1:15:00) whether you girl out in there right this is something she has to decide if you’re a space she wants to enter does she want to open her doors her container to what you represent to what you have to give and this is such an important part of the chemistry element you know what has to care that about your attention but all right for you for it to mean anything you know a lot of guys are you want to do all these tricks that you learn for pick-up bars they forget the woman has to care about it oh god I always enjoy when people try this on me
(1:15:35) I’m like well that’s that’s so nice but I don’t care about you like you’re not gonna you’re not gonna like entice me by being like more aloof and difficult like insult me and then like you know don’t say anything for three days I’m just gonna hope you make it five there actually has to be something there right but you creating a frame that is true for you that represents you who you are and allowing women to decide whether that’s something they want to come into or not it is very important I don’t know
(1:16:15) if I actually said that right actually no I did I like I want to say it like that because I think it’s important when you start talking about the feminine and the masculine element of it that the feminine has to is the beautification of everything right it’s the cultivating of everything it’s the taking it’s the incubation element of life right a woman can take something and she’ll multiply it whatever that is whatever you give her she’s going to multiply it I mean if she gives a [ __ ]
(1:16:48) about you obviously all right and so why this is so important that you come in with the frame that is that is true for you because when a woman does decide or she has an attraction to that frame then her entering it is the same thing as her entering a home and house I’m making it a home that’s where you get element and the great experience of femininity when she actually is living in a house she wants to be in this is why it’s it’s it’s just really almost a it’s really simple but it’s really an understanding
(1:17:31) of how you need to act or you need the frame you need to have as a man and I think so many men are trying because of scarcity trying to get women trying to go into going things like because we live in different elements it’s like me being on the boat and the woman living in the water and men want to go into the water but realize you can’t breathe in there right well you can’t you can’t attract a feminine woman if you’re not a respectable man so we can’t respect you we can’t we can’t give you those gifts we
(1:18:05) can’t show up in a feminine way we’re all gonna be dudes sitting on the couch like if we don’t respect you and I don’t mean disrespect you like like we don’t like you people take it like that what I mean is if we can’t respect your frame so we can’t really understand what your purpose is you don’t really seem to have a Direction you don’t court us in a way that feels like for sure you know you try to backdoor us then we think okay whatever I’m the respectable one and if I’m the
(1:18:35) respectable one that I’m the man you know if you come to me you come at me and you want to be cherished you’re an effeminate so if you just come in there and you’re like well if you just cherish that I you know I came to your family Thanksgiving and didn’t you know and then did the man job somehow no I can’t cherish you and then also respect you when you don’t have a frame when you don’t have any any integrity right and this is a big big issue among so many men is wanting to be cherished for when
(1:19:14) we all want both like we all want to be cherished and respected like everybody fess but you just have to pick which one you want more and act in the way in which you can gain that thing like if you want to be cherished you have to act very well you have to act soft you have to be feminine now if you want to be respectable then you need to act like a man I can’t still like fellas man please don’t pick the former well but thing is that it is everybody’s right you know to pick whichever one they want to be in
(1:19:53) the only problem that you’re gonna run into is if you pick one that’s not natural to you pick ooh that’s I couldn’t said it better in order to say it any better myself and it’s then you have to pick a partner that is the complement so if you really really want to be in your chair singing feminine then you pick a respectable partner who wants to live in their respectable nature now there are there are women that are respected first and that happens it happens it certainly happens there’s a movie called spread with Anne
(1:20:28) Heche and Ashton Kutcher which is a really great example of a respectable woman and what happens when the cherish no man disrespects her she throws him out she throws him out but up until then it’s all fine she pursues him she buys him stuff he’s living under that and under that paradigm under her roof and then when he stops respecting her as when she’s she’s out on him but you know the anyway you can have either one it’s just that most people feel most natural in their gendered one and that’s fine
(1:21:05) but you can’t get a partner who has the same polarity as you and expect to be happy so you can’t do things to force the other person into their opposite energy system and then complain that they are in that system so you can’t collapse the frame as a man and then want to be cherished then get upset because you have a competitive conquering and controlling woman with you and that’s what the consistency comes in yeah cuz why this will happen is because life happens and relationships happen and you get you
(1:21:42) know things happen throughout your experience that tests your frame and so if you’re not built up enough that you will collapse your frame to enter the into the other person’s for a lot of times because you think it’s just necessary for a half piece okay sometimes you think it’s necessary to just you know you don’t want to deal with whatever and a lot of people do this for a lot of reasons that seem almost reasonable at the time but when you do this too much then again a woman will stop respecting you and for the
(1:22:18) flip side a man will stop cherishing you oh yes and that’s when you know she goes away and you see all the things that you see when the result of that experience happens so I said probably good place to stop we have more gets been doing eggshell I would love to you yeah well I’m all fired up about like collapsing the frame but the heart the the reason why I’m all fired up is because when people don’t realize they’re doing this and then they toss the other person into the opposite polarity like when when they start to
(1:22:58) act you know to not follow their purpose and actual flighty that throws the other person into their other energy source and then they fault the first person for you know they falter partner for it and I could tell you this personally if they’ve you ask me what’s number one is should you deal with women like I guess if I could have to word it like that anyways you know if you told me what the number one thing that I have to really be aware of with women it’s this because women are constantly tested my frame
(1:23:28) they’re constantly testing my frame and when far as the podcast it constantly tested my friend personally there’s number one thing you deal with this man if you can get that stable you’d be surprised how less difficult all the other things that are important are but I’m telling you 100% there’s not it’s not even a close there’s a one and then like two is like ten steps down and it’s so common I don’t even really like I don’t recognize a little more because I’m you know it’s so natural but yeah
(1:24:00) that’s well cuz disrespecting men has become epidemic oh yeah absolutely that’s so that’s what of course what you must deal with all the time and that’s why it’s so rare when you find people respectful absolutely it’s almost weird because I’m always I’m so prepared for like I’m always like what’s that like an like a tense on guard like there we go like on guard and it’s very strange when it’s not happening cuz you know it’s coming right and so you’re kind of you
(1:24:34) you have to live in that state if you’re gonna deal with a lot of women anyways and for whatever reason guys who sleep with a lot of one guys who date a lot of women but if you work with law I mean all of it specially in today’s world you’re gonna have to constantly deal with that and not let it JQ and that’s gonna be one of the most typical things you’re gonna have to do because to manage that as a man there’s if you’re in the Western culture anyways like that’s where you’re going to have
(1:25:02) to 80% of your issues are gonna come from having or frame issues third it’s it’s again I personally I can’t speak for any other man but I personally can’t say that there’s anything that comes even close to what I would have to make sure that I if you say anything that I have to deal with consistently it’s definitely that so but anyways we will continue this next time and we’ll keep going o P guys got something out of it like I said I know it wasn’t so much stuff like you know how do I write a
(1:25:41) parody about it but we probably can’t deliver it but I think it’s important to understand this about yourself and understand this about gobbets at sex because these are the things that you’re actually going to deal with on a daily basis this is what’s in what matters most you know you if you’re still in like I just want a hot girl then you’re not there yet I don’t talk to you yet you know you’re just not there yet yet more for us to be interested please start asking the right questions so
(1:26:11) right but yeah thank you so much Elizabeth though for as usual for being able to hang man oh thank you I always appreciate this nice like a good time yes and take you guys over to the end man really appreciate it again you can grow up set the around your podcast calm but other than that we will see guys next time Thank You Elizabeth thank you