I Just Don’t “Feel” It – Understanding Chemistry

(This transcript has been automatically generated and not checked for accuracy.)

Hey, what’s going on, guys?
Welcome to the Orion group podcast.
I’m your host Robert Dunn and I’m here tonight.
My co-host Mrs Elizabeth Stone from Attract The One.
What’s up?
How you doing?
I’m great.
How are you Robert?
I’m good man.
A nice day.
0:21
A productive day was actually really good weekend.
As, you know, I lied my team lost but I really want fantasy.
So there’s a kind of half and half, but you’re a positive.
Tell you, remember that part of her, I just thought about that also wrapped up and some nails but open on things are going well.
0:39
Thank you guys.
So for tuning in, really appreciate it.
You can go to our website.
There, Ryan group podcast.com and you can check out our stuff, they’re almost forgotten in my own website and I’ll Give Elizabeth a chance to let you know about her because she’s a lot more to say than I do.
0:58
So I kind of want to give you her own little space and time to be able to, oh, thank you.
Well yeah, I’m into week, 3 of a track, the one live, which is my very first group coaching class and so that’s good.
It’s apotheke a little group.
1:13
It’s been a lot of fun to give those calls and connect with everybody and everybody’s very different.
So that’s been interesting to its Attracted, very like a cross-section of people in all different situations.
So, I’ve really enjoyed delivering that so far.
I’ve had to think about things.
1:29
I’ve never thought about before, which I love, right?
I love that love being able to wear.
I mean, if you’re anybody who’s trying to do something or trying to be better, you should definitely be constantly pushing yourself and putting yourself in positions where you’re uncomfortable in a good way, you know, obviously, yeah, but the stretch yourself and to learn something new.
1:50
So, Romance.
Oh yeah.
Kudos to you for that.
Yep.
I mean, I forced myself on to live videos, so we should probably all play the lottery, you surprised.
I mean, it’s different.
2:06
So I’ll let you hear without on what’s going on video eventually, I don’t think I have a problem with it but also I say that now well I thought that, you know, I just had to look right or like it just had to be the right sunny day or, I don’t know, but I think it was just that you have to do it.
2:24
I mean I had my first Live everywhere.
I just like totally choked and then realize that, oh, this is different and harder than I thought and I’m planning on delivering this Live program in two weeks.
So got some just-in-time training, got some wonderful coaching and the win on out there.
2:42
So I recommend everybody do something, you’re really afraid of because it will force you to grow and it’s, I’ve been really proud of it.
So let’s see, them like that.
You just proud of yourself, you know, I mean when you get Get to the point when you can start.
This is what I’ve learned personally when you just you’re able to encourage yourself and you’re able to get to a point where you’re not in this setting needing so many people to constantly, push you or constantly validate you or consulate, you know, try to Hype you up and you’re able to get to a point.
3:14
When you can do that lead yourself.
Essentially, it’s a really good place to be in because I said, lets you need people.
The better, you can help them.
Oh God.
Yes.
Oh needed.
Dirty word in my room.
All right, want desire, desire and require are fantastic.
3:33
But need is a dirty word.
I was trying to see how that can you can tie that into are talking about but I don’t know if I can, I don’t know.
We’ll just we’ll see what’s pretty good at this.
That’s true.
I have faith in it.
3:51
Well ultimately our ultimate topic tonight we’re going to be discussing this article.
Listener sent me.
That is very interesting.
That to be honest, I probably going to go through it like paragraph, like section by section slow.
I don’t want to rush this on, might be maybe a couple shows aren’t, you know, you might have to stretch it out because I don’t want to.
4:10
I think every kind of part of this has something that we can talk about and and experience.
So as far as pull out a few points but I think there’s a lot of there is a lot to work with in there because there’s a fair amount of solid points and there’s also A lot of bitterness and there’s a lot of like self-flagellation and that we can discuss.
4:32
It’s a very human, it is the quest to breed Step 1.
But before we get into that I want to talk about chemistry a little bit.
Yeah chemistry The Big C word.
4:49
I don’t think there’s any other word I’ve heard more over the last few years and just a dating room.
Um, other than this work, then again, I deal with or work with and it was a lot of women.
So this is a big word and women world I’ve learned true.
5:07
I was like, so I didn’t realize how much it wasn’t something, guys talked about, until I almost Lee realize how much women talk about it.
And I think it’s been interesting because I’ve actually been focusing more on it because we use chemistry, I’m not trying to insult anybody’s intelligence.
5:24
I just want to make sure On the same page.
All right, but this word gets used a lot so much so that I don’t think we actually think about it and I don’t think that especially for the fellows was really wrong, really want to talk to you on my end.
5:41
Anyway, so the felt and obviously Elizabeth always knows how to fill in on my blind spots.
So I’ll just have to do that but Why?
I think this is important thing to talk about, it’s risky for the fellows is because I had an experience because last weekend with a with the guy friend that I’ve had a million times or I’ve heard you know a million guys say this over the course of my lifetime but it was the first time they really like stuck out to me and I thought about it, maybe it’s my podcast mind.
6:19
Chirping in there, whatever.
But it just kind of stopped and thought about this time because what happened was he broke up with his girlfriend or world.
Or his girlfriend broke up with him and she left him or whatever.
6:34
I don’t, I’m not sure it was for another guy or not.
I don’t think it was but nevertheless, she left and we’re broke up with them.
And what he said to me was like, I had pretty much how they explained it, pretty much responded to it, by saying, you know, I did X Y & Z, you know, I was a good boyfriend.
6:59
And I didn’t cheat, you know, I went to work every day, all that kind of stuff that I was.
So used to guys always, you know, pretty much saying after some after something like this happens but why it stuck out to me?
Was because I realize that this is A very Jose eye-opening but a very consistent response from men because it represents really fundamentally how we approach women.
7:33
And I say that because we approach women from such a Performance Based, yeah system.
Yeah.
Like I’ve checked all the blocks.
I have been my checklist here and I’ve gone down and it is all Correct and now that should equal relationship right?
7:51
You know or love or sex or put whatever it is that you’re wanting to put into that well and it’s not a demand thing.
I don’t mean that like like they think that they’re turning in paperwork or anything.
It’s just that it’s kind of seems like like logical.
8:09
Then that way like oh well I did all the things like your friend.
I was a good you know, boyfriend I did you know, I took care of it.
And why did I not succeed?
All right, and it’s, I mean, it’s very evolutionary.
In a sense of performance, is such a big thing for us because producing results is really the foundation of being man.
8:33
Yeah, yeah, right results.
Couldn’t competitive.
Conquering controlling, right?
Because that’s what we’ve been valued for over the whole course of human history.
You know, from the Industrial Revolution to The guy who could kill the most tigers in the tribe, you know, got to eat first, right?
8:53
Yeah, his son was taken care of.
And so if there was a lot of women will talk about how they feel their looks and their Beauty has been really the beginning and ending of their value, which is historically the way that it’s been right.
Historically, the way it’s been.
9:09
And so, if there was like seven equivalent to that, for us, it would definitely be producing results.
When guys cannot produce results that they wanted to produce, that’s Causes depression in men.
This is why guys can take it so hard when they lose a job especially a job that they were really productive at, or they felt like they were really productive at really fit their skill set.
9:29
You can see really crashes in that Arena and obviously, especially relationships.
Because a lot of times, you’ll hear guys, when they talk about a fail relationship, they’ll talk about how they failed.
Yeah, that’s very true.
Well, in in lots of people, definitely take it upon themselves, especially when they’ve been the one we rejected.
9:48
They internalize.
And then look at all the reasons why they failed if they’ve been rejected.
That’s very common.
All right.
And so, when he was talking to me about this, why stop this time around?
But like I said, I’ve heard this from guys all my life, right?
Like, that’s all I’m ever a lot of guys tonight, you know, not not every situation, but it’s common enough for me not to even think about it, right?
10:08
But the reason why it stopped This time is because maybe because I’ve been down and because I’ve been able to talk to so many different women.
There’s certain things that just naturally I think, you know, Got an ear for ya.
Got an ear for just kind of become a part of my instinct.
10:27
Yeah. and this is something that that caught me because when he was talking about that or I was, you know, pretty much same to myself in my head was like, so And I was weird because I never had that response ever.
You know, you were like there’s something you’re not seeing in The Matrix.
10:46
I was just like so because I was he was telling me about all the things that he was doing.
It was the first time I told myself like, what does that matter?
You know.
And I oh man, you’ve got to the dark side, I know, and I said that when I was thinking about why I responded like that, it’s not so much that I produce some results in and being performance.
11:08
Is inherently bad.
It’s just I realized I got to the point in talking to enough women that I realize it’s not going to be ever be the top priority.
It’s well it’s not what will the problem with it is that it’s like the extra now.
Like unfortunately it’s like the compliment.
11:27
Yeah yeah.
Well and then when we’re missing that were like oh shit like He-Man.
He does not have it together but the unfortunate thing about the chase for chemistry Is that we start to worry about those things.
Last when those are what kind of men are known for doing.
11:44
So it’s like they’re bringing their jewels and we are rejecting them, all right?
And that’s that’s something that I do.
I realize, I think I specially, you know, earlier on in life and I see a lot of men still to this point obviously whenever they don’t really understand chemistry and women and its value to women and what and how women Prioritize that and where that stands that makes any sense.
12:13
You know as in I realized the difference between a bad boy and the friend zone guy is the bad boy, is the guy she has chemistry for but doesn’t have the performance and so you’ll you can go on Facebook right now or somewhere.
12:30
If you you know the girls dealing with the bad boy because the chemistry is there, but she spends the rest of the time complaining that the performance isn’t there.
All right.
Well, in the other thing is we tend to blame people in name them, bad boys when it just might not be that interested boy.
12:48
And that’s, that’s really what it is.
Like when I realize, when also, when women say bad boy or we’re talking about the ass or The Jerk, It’s not so much that the guys inherently an asshole.
It’s just the performance.
Isn’t there.
When the chemistry is, right?
13:03
Yeah, and the flip side of it, is the friend zone guy.
Is the performance.
Mints without the chemistry.
Yes, that’s very true.
So I think it’s really important for meant an this because like what I was saying about my friend and my response to him was I said so because I understood that the chemistry wasn’t there.
13:26
So, I knew now kind of just instinctually that everything he was saying, even though I know it was like, it wasn’t a problem.
I, that’s good that you were doing that, but while that butterfly feeling, that chemistry l, It then all of that is almost, it’s almost important for you as a girl.
13:47
Like a lot of times a girl can work at McDonald’s for a guy and he will care less right right.
It’s not important to you, it’s not important, right?
But the same time you hear a lot of women who are successful.
Be like, you know, I make six figures a whole my own house, you know, I have 23 degrees.
14:08
Why can’t I find it?
And I will respond the same way.
Like, so, right doesn’t care.
Does it?
Care, right?
Because it just doesn’t and I mean that’s good, but that has nothing to do with my sexual arousal, relational mechanism.
14:24
Right?
Right?
It’s not how you’re built, right?
It’s not how we are built.
And so, again, I think it’s important for you to have four guys to understand this, because I think a lot of guys want to perform their way into chemistry and Elizabeth.
14:40
We meet Elizabeth talked about this lime and, and Is possible.
I’ll put a disclaimer.
It is possible to flip a girl, right?
Yes, it is.
It is possible to to get that.
I don’t know if I’ve ever known a girl or a woman who has not had an experience of having a boyfriend that she ended up really loving caring about becoming attached to that.
15:02
She admits there wasn’t anything there in the beginning.
All right.
Yes, very true.
You have to give him time to get in there and do the chemistry thing, like, once that happens and you actually have Biological chemistry for him, your all you’re in the clear, right?
Oh, that’s how he flipped her over.
15:17
Is he stuck around long enough for her, you know, to hurt for her to give him a chance.
And that’s what that’s how that happens, right?
The problem, the chemistry still had to be there though, the chemistry still had to be there and fellas, the chemistry has to be there.
15:36
I cannot stress this enough.
Like it has to be there and even though you can flip a woman, it’s a lot more difficult to.
That nowadays because of the access we have to each other because of online dating, because it’s hard to keep somebody’s attention for a longer period of time than it’s ever been as a result.
15:54
And so you know there’s there’s some things that will kind of make a little bit more difficult.
I’ve seen any ways to kind of flip that, but you, I mean, the chemistry has to be there and I a lot of guys get very upset about this.
16:12
I think, The reason may, the reason why it might be unclear to men is that under the age of andropause, which is in your 50s?
You don’t, you can’t bond to a woman chemically the same way that a woman can bond to you.
So you don’t actually you can’t physically experience Brands that what we do when we are talking about chemistry.
16:34
We can’t we can bond with you but you can’t bond with us in the same way.
It’s actually chemically not impossible until the 40s and 50s.
So right around that time we go through at when we go, right through menopause then we are able to have sexual intercourse without bonding to the men that we’re sleeping with, which is why it’s much easier for an older woman to go and just have an amazing time.
16:58
When when She was younger, it would have been really bad for her biology because that continual bonding experience with the actual chemistry is actually very dangerous for us to experience breakups.
The taco subió myopathy heart, attack is a result of having its broken heart syndrome.
17:17
It’s a result of having that chemistry losing a relationship.
So if you ladies, if you’re out there, if you’re experiencing chest, pains during a breakup and you’re under the age of menopause.
And if you’re The age of menopause please.
In fact also consult a health professional.
17:33
But if you’re younger than can you can actually die from a broken heart.
So we can experience that when you can’t until you get older which is another reason why sometimes, when older men fall in love with a younger much younger woman and she dumps them or whatever she does goes away, then he dies of a heart attack because that same process you’re suddenly able to bond with women.
17:58
You Move more into your feelings.
You have more estrogen dominance and then it’s possible for you to experience that when before it was impossible and see the way Elizabeth breaks us up down, put them.
Well, it’s a real chemical thing.
18:15
I mean, we’re not just, we’re not just like, you know, turning into loot, you know, crazy lunatics when this happened because it’s just a fun time.
Well this is why I’m so sorry buddy, this is why I’m so Adamant about people needing to understand that you have two operating systems running in writing and you at the same time, even apple.
18:38
And you have a PC.
This is how you have to look at it.
One system is complete one systems job.
It’s only job is to make sure that you survived the human species survives and that we reproduce.
18:53
Yes, that’s it.
That’s all it cares about the very, very important.
We don’t get from to eight billion people without that we can even talk about in the religious sense to.
But I’ll, you know, I will go there, but the same time.
19:09
The point is that you have to understand that there is an evolutionary biological element to you that if we didn’t have that, then we would have to spend every single waking moment, concern about our survival and concerned about our reproduction.
19:25
Raising one of them wouldn’t be strong enough, right?
Wouldn’t be strong.
And we would have to consciously be considerate of it at all times and so it’s necessary.
But at the same time, understand if it if it is running your life and it was running your relationships, you will it is not concerned about your quality, it’s good, you know.
19:47
Well you know some extent actually the feminine mechanism is because if we mess up with what we put in the container were in trouble.
But when it comes to, you know, the way sperm works not as much and this is why it’s so important for us to know a little bit about it because it’s and it sounds like a big thing but really this is the element of a status concerned will have a, this is the place where girls care about your height.
20:16
Yeah, right.
That’s where that lives.
Like all of this stuff that we think is foolish is actually very Revolution or evolutionary has been very necessary what we’ve picked up over the centuries to survive to get to the place, where we could have a society.
20:32
If we if a woman didn’t get guys, connect herself with men that were bigger stronger than she wasn’t going to survive at one point in history, right?
Yeah.
Or the likelihood of that or her children likelihood of Dropped dramatically between a guy who was 54-hundred you know 80 pounds wet as opposed to a 64 250-pound man.
20:55
The grizzly bears and it’s a completely different fight.
All right?
And so that’s the kind of stuff that’s created.
These default instincts in us, this is why will you don’t care long as you are born a biological male or a biological female.
Your firmware is set.
21:11
Your firmware will just have you have certain proclivities To certain things.
All right.
And you’ll know what these things are because they won’t have anything to do with the quality of your relationship.
Oh, and it will seem ridiculous, right?
Little stupid, real chemistry with somebody and you just you can’t you won’t even be able to understand it.
21:31
Like you, you know, you look at them at the grocery store and wonder why and it will just be because you have great nature things, you should breed with them, right?
That’s it, that’s all it’s saying that it’s fate.
It means nature, things that you it would make great babies nature, thanks to and make great babies.
21:49
And that’s his job.
And so because it’s the necessity for us, you know, because a lot of people I’ve heard when they start understanding them, this aspect of themselves start to actually hate it especially you know, they really do because yeah you know, even the church you know week they call it.
22:08
It’s called flesh.
And so they’re all you always hear preachers.
Talk about you to kill your flesh.
You to kill your flesh, you know, luck to you.
Yeah.
Good luck because it’s just not, you can you can do see?
I mean, you can you know, get to a certain point where you can manage it.
22:23
That’s what you should be going towards because you’re not going to completely get rid of it.
You need to know how to manage it.
But the point is, this is something that you need to be aware of.
So you know, what’s making your decisions.
22:40
Like Elizabeth said, when you’re just going insane about a person for no reason, they didn’t do anything, they need, you don’t even have to speak to the person.
We all know, I wouldn’t be sitting next to them on the bus, right?
That it takes three days for that to wear off your just there within 36 inches.
22:58
It’s a smell thing.
Actually, you know, there’s all of that because, again, that’s how we’ve gotten to this point, but when people make decisions and they connect with nothing but those people, these are the people that are constantly hating life in terms of From a relationship standpoint because they’re constantly getting involved with people who they have this crazy, you know, exclaim mystery experience with but those relationships never pan out because your it brings out a different version of you.
23:30
I mean, we all know what it’s like to be in that situation and hopefully and most likely have someone respond to you that way.
And it’s just they just it’s almost it’s like choosing of desperation.
It’s like a oozing of just complete submission.
Ian to him, you know, needing to have you.
23:49
In some way you can tell they just everything that just would normally any restrictor-plate that they would normally have on their behavior will naturally go away.
I mean, this is, this is why it’s so dangerous because when I’ve met when women in my life function like this, you know what I mean?
24:06
It’s well and since you can’t I mean physically can’t experience that kind of what that does to you, right?
You know, in the same way.
I mean you can certainly be attracted to women and certainly get addicted to them but you cannot actually experience that until later it’s hard for men to understand because men definitely, you know, they lust after women and and get really interested in them.
24:30
But it’s this the what we’re talking about is really hard to control when you’re experiencing.
I like you need a lot of training in order to control that and not act kooky.
It’s you know I like it.
As I know, you know what, I’m when I’m around those people.
24:48
It’s like, okay, like let’s lock down all the, you know, silverware or whatever, you know, like, you’re trying to make yourself into a being that can actually make a sentence make sense.
I mean, it’s really hard.
All right.
And I like you said, but how’s a guy?
I know what it’s like to really be into a girl, but when I see that it’s clearly on a different level, it’s something absolutely different and I know that there what’s ever happening in you This moment is, I don’t know what that is.
25:19
We just struggle to control.
It is all it is but you know, the hard part is right now.
It’s kind of trendy to decide that that person is your twin flame and then and I have an opinion about that but it’s not a good one but they’re that’s because I, you know, I experienced the you know, what happens to people when they are not willing to open their Themselves up to other chemistry’s because that’s the only way to knock it out of your body like is to get more and better with somebody else and then you can let it go.
25:56
The best way to get over, it is to really like, let somebody new steal you away because otherwise it takes two years for that to get out of your body.
When you have really good chemistry for somebody to years.
That’s how long it takes.
That’s insane.
It is people.
If you notice, people will come back around before 2 years is up and You, you guys do that to us, you come over and you’re like, hey, wanna play Skee-Ball, you know?
26:22
Like I haven’t seen you in 18 months and then you re infect us and then we get to do it again and we don’t even know, I don’t even know that was a case because I know I’ve made, you know, those phone calls, you know, and there’s an intentional thing, it’s just very much, a biological thing.
26:37
You have to keep your Harem all, you know, all interested have to keep keep yourself.
Is number one.
And personally Robert, I’m sorry it for everybody’s listening I’m not saying that Robert is going around.
26:54
In fact, the saying that biologically that’s the way it works and it takes that long so that you know, you have to raise somebody the age of two before they start to, you know, they can not think for themselves at to, I don’t know what I’m saying, but that’s enough time to really procreate and get a viable human.
27:17
This is an issue that I came, like, there’s Elizabeth asked me the other night, you know, what are some of the things that I’ve seen it kind of experience.
I’ve learned new since since doing this.
And there’s anything probably the number one thing that stood out to me when really being able to really talk to women and, you know, in a way where you can really start to understand what’s going on and their experiences through all of this and have so many different opportunities to talk to Different women.
27:45
There’s anything that stood out to me that has been like really schnapps a strange, but really interesting how it’s been.
So consistent has been this issue because most of our questions are chemistry questions.
And I didn’t even realize that until like after about three or four five, six months.
28:04
I started looking at all of these and I’m just, I realize I keep responding to you from an operating system that you’re not running in currently.
Oh yeah, that’s a good point.
Yeah, I’m your Chemistry of chemistry is Apple.
28:20
I keep talking to you in PC and I’m talking to you and to your PC strategies are.
Yeah.
Yeah, why are we acting wacky chemistry?
Right.
Just how do we get out of here while we kill the chemistry, right?
28:36
I’m like, well, obviously, I didn’t even like you said, I’d even really realize this, but by default, that’s what I was.
Kept telling women to see Really stop. going towards the chemistry, which is Probably the worst strategy possible when dealing in this in this Arena because again, what it’s not really, I was, it’s not really possible but it’s just that you can’t.
29:06
That’s, that’s not the way a negotiated a can negotiate it, I know the place.
Yeah, the guy coaches give this advice to and and and even the book He’s Just Not That Into You is based on this premise.
Like he just doesn’t care about you go away and like It’s really cool and really sound by T, but that doesn’t actually hurt cut to the root of the problem which is that you need more men.
29:29
We need more men.
You have to expose yourself to more men, and I’m always saying to my people add more men and they don’t want to do it.
They don’t like it and they don’t like it because of this issue.
If you have really great chemistry, somebody the last thing you want to do is go out and diversify but that’s what solves the problem.
29:47
So I spend the majority of my time convincing people to write to Certified because that’s what helps it’s not.
You can’t say, okay, I’m just not going to be around Ken, you have to go in like look for the rest of the tribe.
Like you have to go and open yourself up even if you don’t want to because that’s what will knock that biology out and then reinfect you with somebody else.
30:08
And then you can worry about, you know, whoever Jack James, whoever it is because that’s how you get rid of that.
You need somebody with the same or better, or at least something because if you don’t have that then you get to wait two years.
And that sucks because I mean this is where you’ll get all these questions about.
30:28
I’m still in love with my ex and it’s been a year and a half and you have a new guy in.
Again this is just an issue that that so many men like I did even initially in terms of talking about it to women, try to negotiate it.
30:44
Oh yeah the guy coaches all try to negotiate man guys in general because guys enjoy guys.
We’ve been taught in a subconscious weights or mainly.
So I’m just trying out the right way about almost a Like The Logical like that are more illogical.
31:05
We need to do that is there’s a were looking for, I guess, who I know.
But we’ve been taught that, this is how you pursue women by essentially negotiating desire.
31:21
And I mean that because in all of, you know, women have the Disney movies and all of that they would tell, you know, taught about how all that we kind of litigated that whole thing a lot.
But what is the The equal the parallel for men for us, we’ve been taught that you whisk a girl up on her feet or whatever, right?
31:40
The whole idea of like wooing, her and flowers and all of that and you’re trying to win her heart.
Right?
Courtship and inherently.
That’s not bad.
But with the problem what that actually looks like in reality though, see that inherently I could said I mean I can sa you know argue against that sort of speak but really what guys took From that was negotiating desire.
32:06
Oh, that’s interesting.
And I didn’t realize that until I really started looking how to guy up.
How do you guys actually apply this though because the whole idea of courtship seems obvious to women, right?
The whole idea of wound seems obvious but I didn’t realize it really wasn’t obvious to us because what it looked like to us, was that all right, you got to get a girl to like you.
32:30
And that is where we went wrong.
And so you have a lot of guys, like my friend, saying I did x y z.
I don’t understand why I can’t negotiate her desire.
I don’t understand why, you know what I mean?
Like, yeah, yeah, you’re right.
32:47
Well II, there’s something there.
And that hit me.
And it’s that, like, we don’t think about it, like, you are doing X, Y, & Z to get us to like you, we think about it, like, oh, he’s doing all of this, because he likes me.
Say like, like he is.
33:03
Yeah.
Like, he must be like, well, you know, he must really like me if he’s going to all this trouble.
And now it’s very clear that he really liked me and, you know, then you get to do what you do with that.
But like, we think about it more like, oh, because you showing all of these signs of courtship, that must mean to us that he cares about us like, very formulaic.
33:27
See.
And that’s where see.
I mean, even look at it from us.
A point of a little boy.
A little boy will bring, you know, all the groceries out of the car, you know, trying to hope for groceries out of time and struggling to bring it into his mom.
And just like you said her mother, the mom can be thinking, oh, he loves me as his mom.
33:44
So much that he’s doing this for me.
But no, the little boys doing that because at the end of this process, I’ll get a treat.
Okay, that’s what we’re all.
Just self-serving Little Creatures day 10,000, right?
34:00
Because that’s what that’s what evolution does.
Evolution.
Only cares about you, right?
Evolution is not concerned about quality.
It’s not concerned about you.
Having better relationships.
Just do, are we going to survive?
And again, this isn’t making people inherently bad and every selfish.
34:18
It’s just our mechanism doing its job, right?
Because the little boy and not, that he doesn’t.
Love his mother but he’s you know he does it because at the end of that process it’s like a good boy.
Getting your stroke stroke or you know, Rice Krispie treat, you know something like that.
34:35
Yeah.
And adult men, do the same thing and women are this is why women get so upset when like well we took me to dinner.
Why does he want sex?
Because we’re, it’s the same process we’ve been doing that.
We’ve been taught to do our whole lives.
We kept getting rewarded every time we produced a result.
34:54
When also, like you wanted sex the whole time.
Like, why is it insulting right?
I mean, again, it’s, you know, it was always before it was sex.
It was your mother’s love, right?
It was your mother’s validation.
Your father is or what, your know, your family.
Whoever was that person in your life, your grandmother.
35:13
And so it just switches when you hit puberty, but it’s the same process.
And so, guys will continue this process of.
I do X, Y and Z.
It’s not producing.
Stroke like a did for my mom, right?
Why am I doing this for her?
35:28
And she loves me and she could she not realize she gonna love you regardless.
Right.
Right.
Because she’s your mother.
But obviously, that’s our first experience with women.
And so subconsciously.
We’re not thinking anything like that.
We just understand from day one.
If we do X, we smile mom, gasps mom, smiles and gets happy if we do X, mom gets happy and smiles, are rewards us if we do be if she gets mad that’s not good, right?
35:53
Until he Could take care of ourselves.
Anyways, and so, again, a lot of Minkin mad about this process when they get to the dating stage of life because the, they get so mad at the bad boy, because he’s getting the chemistry without doing anything or not doing any work, not producing in a result, and a lot of quote-unquote, nice guys.
36:16
That, that, that short circuits the system, Yeah.
I’m very, very excited, very upsetting.
It’s very upsetting because there’s no process.
Wait a minute.
I did x y z.
I’m the friend.
I’m the one talking to her every night.
I’m the one showing up.
When she’s sick.
36:31
I’m driving her to this.
And then she meets a guy at the bar and have sex with them.
Three hours later like chemistry though.
I mean, yeah, you’re absolutely right.
You’re totally right about that.
It’s very well.
And the other thing about it too, is that being hard to get works really well?
It just works, you know, and that’s one of the things that the bad Boys have going for them is that they since they’re so disinterested as a as a whole, they succeed.
36:58
It just being hard to get because they literally just don’t care.
My friend.
One of my friend was telling me a story the other day from the show Community and she said that there’s I don’t know the show very well.
But she said that there’s an episode where This Woman’s ex-boyfriend is like with the circus or with the carnival and One of the main characters does to her like he has brain damage.
37:22
That’s why he’s acting so disinterested.
He doesn’t actually care about you.
He’s just has brain damage.
It’s not like he’s a bad boy.
He doesn’t.
He can’t with you in the funny thing is like the whole bad boy, to see bad boys.
37:40
Aren’t a demographic.
No, they’re not city of like have a 10% bad boy quotient.
No, they’re just a disinterested man.
It’s what is it?
They’re just a disinterested, man.
That’s all a guy has to do.
Become a bad boys is be disinterested straight and you have to have chemistry for him.
37:58
You have chemistry for a denser disinterested, man and boom, a bad boy is born.
All right, that’s it.
Could be a bad boy in the nerd World there at Comic-Con and he’s a top bad boy.
Then just means He doesn’t care, he’s doesn’t care about you, right?
38:16
That’s right, that’s the only what that means and the good guy, the nice guy.
All he is is the guy who want you but you have no chemistry for him like we said earlier and so this is all you got to do, be a nice guy.
I don’t know.
I think as far as being a nice guy there’s a real element of covert contracts and there.
38:36
And that was a phrase coined by Robert Glover.
No, I think it’s Robert Glover who wrote Vote no more, mr.
Nice guy.
And explain that.
Basically, you have to understand that by doing these behaviors, you expect the result.
38:53
So if you are, you know, like, like the kid with his mom, you know, if you’re bringing the groceries in, expecting the stroke, or like the the admiration, then you are, in fact, enacting a covert contract, which is an unspoken contract in return for performance.
39:08
So you are promising, you know, you’re doing Thing with the hope of a return.
So you’re doing something with the promise of sex or whatever and then when it doesn’t happen, the nice guy thing is to get really angry about that and then get mad at the woman because she didn’t follow through on the contract.
39:25
When she did not write it, you wrote it, right?
So that’s where the that term of, excuse me.
Damn, forget, on my words tonight it’s been used a lot politically right now.
Gosh was, but the pointer is what I’m really to over what I mean, when I was like whatever.
39:50
I’m same number like three of these words after we finish the show, totally like as you’re drifting off to sleep running too fast and I got some myself down.
But but no, the point is As a nice guy, like you said, really, what makes you a nice guy is not the expectation, but it’s your response really angry at her because she does not give you the response that you want, right?
40:19
And so, that comes again, it’s not bad to have an expectation, but a lot of times when a guy gets so mad about it, where he flips out on you, that rejection again because these are the guys that are At a point where they haven’t matured internally enough to understand that, that rejection, that lack of producing a result is an inherent to their masculinity.
40:44
They haven’t separated it yet, right?
And also, sometimes they’re just so quick on the trigger to like, you know, we aren’t sitting there with a, you know, a scale judging you at every moment.
Sometimes, we’re just less interested or more interested depending on our feelings.
41:01
So, sometimes the nice guy thing is to get really upset really fast and if they just waited, they would have gotten everything.
They wanted which sucks for us because when that when that happens, when a guy just boils over like that and loses his mind, it’s usually pretty quick.
41:18
It’s usually like, oh, you know, whatever happened.
I didn’t like it.
Now, I’m going to unload on you and if he had just been cool about it, he may have ended up getting what he wanted.
Well, again, you know, this is where the maturity process in many.
41:33
Comes out because men are going to get upset.
Anytime live tells them, they are a Beta male.
Yeah, well everybody gets upset when they get rejected that’s and well, that’s is more than just getting rejected.
That’s just the idea that you are not the guy who everyone is valuing.
41:55
All right here’s another thing too.
Is like women are not we are not like sitting there like well Alpha Beta Alpha Beta alpha beta mean we, you know, we are just like not feeling wrong today.
I mean, you know.
No I mean but when I Those turns out, it’s a comp.
42:13
It’s like you’re not wrong, it’s just that for us we don’t necessarily look at it like that.
And sometimes, you know, people tend to when they catastrophize about relationship things or when they exaggerate its that they put themselves into a non desirable category, and then they get upset that they’re in there, but they put themselves in the category with their thoughts, right?
42:34
And this, when you start talking about this, your right women don’t go around thinking about it like that, you know, you start talking About the whole Alpha Beta male thing.
That’s really just to put a term on a biological response to somebody, to be honest, or biological response to yourself.
42:55
Because when I say every guys, almost terrified of being, pretty much put in the beta mail slot, that’s in, that’s an evolutionary response that we have because we again, if you go back to the very beginning, if you’re not, the guy that’s catching the most, if you’re not the guy, Guy, who is the most valuable in the tribe?
43:16
That means you’re going to be on the lower rung of the totem pole.
In terms of, when we start deal, you know, dipping out resources.
Yes.
Right.
And so, you’re naturally going to have a nasty reaction.
When I say, beta male be here, I just mean the guy, who isn’t the top producer, who isn’t the one who’s controlling the resources of whatever element of life?
43:37
That is all right, whatever Arena of life.
That is sort of speak.
And why is it so important for guys?
Understand about themselves is because like I said, rejection still.
Again because most of the time even now in 2019, guys are still the majority in terms of us having to go out and ask women out and talk to him in first and all of that stuff, you know, even online.
44:00
You’re still going with willing to shoot of, you know, sign the DMS or shoot out the measures First Step here on Bumble, right?
But the point is that rejection for you as a guy.
And just anything that says that you are not that from an evolutionary standpoint, is something that if you don’t learn how to separate that, if you don’t separate these two operating systems because the guys get in trouble, when they don’t know how to separate them, they, they miss those checkpoints of life that give you the experiences that you need, in order to start to learn how to separate the two.
44:43
Then you will get probably the most heinous men on the planet.
Are Meant just can’t separate the two.
These are men that it will just constantly be stuck in a place where they don’t ever know really how to respond correctly to situations.
44:59
I mean, you could eat and say that’s really what the president looks like right now.
You know?
I mean I don’t care what your political leanings are.
It’s just a fact that when you see somebody who’s just constantly doesn’t know how to spell Triggered all the time, triggered all the time.
45:17
That’s what we’re talking about guys, who you know, who are?
You can see that guy at the bar?
It does.
It’s the same behavior.
Every girl has met that type of guy, right?
Every girl has go with that type of guy.
You every girl knows exactly what that is and again, well, it’s scary.
45:33
I mean, it’s a scary experience for us.
It is, you know, and I’ve seen, you know, I’ve seen that firsthand.
But again, when you start talking about Out, or bringing this back to, to chemistry and how all of this fits in with this, it’s, it’s the weirdest thing in the world because on one hand, I see, how see, how important it is for women to have that for a guy.
45:57
But when it’s on, right?
I don’t send regular, doesn’t sound right when it’s mismanaged.
It can get into a, get women to a really bad place.
But as far as the fellas are concerned, You cannot negotiate desire, like you cannot negotiate desire, you cannot negotiate this.
46:21
And so, all of you right now, most of the guys, I know who are to really struggle with this.
But she, if you love the guys, you go online.
You see the mess where you see those angry bitter, guys.
It’s because they don’t understand why they’ve been able to negotiate their mother’s love, but they can’t negotiate this Well and also the misconception that they are in fact negotiating their mother’s love when maybe that’s not the case.
46:45
No, of course because it was never something that had to be negotiated, right?
Like it was already existed.
But if you believe that you have to flip the light switch 100 times before the lights turn on, you’re going to do it, right?
You never you never were conscious of the fact that she already loves me.
She loved me from moment.
47:01
She learned.
She was pregnant, it was never.
You had any problem getting her love and then you notice that actions you took That more of it, then you’re really in trouble, right?
You know, because it’s like, people aren’t worried about Aaron where until they don’t have any you know you you have a problem with air and water.
47:19
You did it consumes your day?
You know, just like love.
Like, you know, parental love is like that.
Like if you have their approval, you don’t care about their approval, don’t have their approval.
You spend all your life trying to get their approval in different ways.
So people do that and relationships like they will somebody will truly love them.
47:39
They will We’ll love them with every bone in fiber in their body and they won’t be able to absorb it because they don’t think that that’s the case.
All right?
Like and so they’ll drive that other person away because they’re like, well yeah, I did the whole time but you started acting crazy, you know, it’s just that it’s that recognition.
47:58
The recognition that if you have a resource, you don’t notice it until it’s gone.
And then, if you think you don’t have a resource, you’re going to get in an ed place where you’re going to end up.
Not having And this is what this is, what is Norm?
This is this is the state that guy’s naturally live in.
48:16
We naturally live in the state that it doesn’t exist until we produce it.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
And so that can be good when you’re talking about a business, right?
Yeah, it doesn’t exist.
Now, we can produce.
This is how this is, how production has been made for men from day one, you know, the guy who looked at, you know, a burden.
48:36
Say, you know what?
I wonder if I can make a plane, you know?
Of a plane and started going down that process or are going down that road.
But we’re this gives us really tripped up when it comes to women is that again, we don’t understand that it’s it’s we apply the same process to that and it’s going to have.
48:57
It has terrible results to us more times than not because again we are coming at it from the standpoint of nothing is there and we have to create right.
Yes.
That’s true.
And so can do in a situation where we invite you over to write.
49:15
Like, women is the one who signals that you’re welcome in our space.
So we’ve already decided to release welcome here for the moment, we might change your mind, but the point is that you got invited over here.
So, you now have to produce when you show up, but you also got invited over here so you have to assume success.
49:39
That’s the thing because we don’t recognize this is why I’m an attempt to be more conservative, right?
And a big principle and conservatism is just the fact of I don’t want anything handed to me, right?
49:54
I want to write, I don’t want it, you know, which is very much a very masculine behind of self-defeating, right?
Sometimes you can be absolutely because you’re talking about I don’t need help.
You know I wanted and that’s just ego, you know?
– yeah.
Reliance and I get it.
50:10
And I also come from a very self-reliant background myself.
So I understand it’s very healthy and a lot of ways, but it there’s some things in life that can’t be that have to be given, right?
And yeah, the be allowed in the container is one of them, you know, it’s really hard.
50:28
One of the hardest things to about experiencing men.
Sometimes is that when they don’t understand that, you just don’t like that they put in enough effort for you, to be fine.
And Happy and that like they can stop working because they’re valuable, you know, like you’re here.
50:45
It’s valuable to me that you showed up and that’s what I need for me right now.
Like I just want you to be in the experience but they are so like focused on producing.
They can’t actually see that.
The moment is like what’s most important to us, so can be really frustrating because it’s like okay if you just put the darn you know shovel down please you know and just be here.
51:09
And experience us together like relax, you know, we don’t need to worry about that right now, that can be really, really hard for us to understand, and it can seem very much, like, it’s an active, like, you don’t care about the woman’s feelings when you’re so, in that doing place, because the only reason you’re doing it is because it would help some in the feeling space, but we don’t always understand that.
51:34
So it’s like, well, okay, I think it’s great that you want to mow the yard right now, But if you could just focus on my eyes, that would be wonderful.
See we don’t, we don’t understand that.
You know, I mean, no, no because to us that is that’s so going it’s so goes against our nature right now and that’s what’s happening because what’s guys are not doing something.
51:59
Because for us, there has to be a reason, right?
This is against is why guys struggle.
The only time you hear about bad blood from men, you don’t hear about bad boys, from in terms of Talked about, we like we have the chemistry for you, so we’re pissed, but it’s like, well, your he is right and God gives, you know, the the Articles I’ve written on Bad.
52:17
Boys, it done.
Well, and women have responded to them but we kind of like not in recognition, we’re like well.
Okay, yeah, you know, it’s guys would get upset about bad boys, you know?
And to me, I so funny because I’m Mike, tell it to go that sound like once I see that chemistry element in a girl where she doesn’t have it for a guy where I know she has ever somebody else, don’t don’t Just free you don’t give up.
52:42
Let it go because yeah again it’s we get so mad about it because we don’t understand why nothing was he didn’t do anything.
Yeah.
How is he deserving this?
He’s not work for it.
Just like you’re talking about how we it’s it can be annoying to be with the guy who’s in that space, me keeps trying to do something.
53:01
And a lot of women have said that a lot was said this reason why they broke up with her boyfriend.
A lot of times I’ll just say it was just he was just too much, right?
I kept trying this is a sad situation that route that one makes me so sad because he’s true like just with a little bit of guidance that can work out fine.
53:18
All right because you have good raw materials like he’s trying to do stuff so that situation makes me really sad actually.
Because it’s like, oh if you only knew like in 10 years, when you’re hoping somebody won’t be lazy, you will wish that you just molded and shaped rather than discarding that man who was working so hard for you.
53:38
There’s a funny because Ugh.
I knew who actually learned about this element of dating of women.
He learned it because well, there’s one day where he was like he had to do double shift or whatever.
And then he decided to go to the gym after work and so by the time then his girlfriend wanted to go to dinner and so by the time you got the dinner he was so oh dead.
54:01
Tired.
That he literally just didn’t say anything because he was just so tired.
Yeah and he said it was funny because she To have sex that night and she was really into, like, she noticed a difference, he’s understand wise because he would, he was too tired to try and produce any result.
54:18
It’s, so he was just sitting there listening her whole time.
Just kind of nodded and just thought it was great.
Yeah, she thought it was great because he was, you know, I felt never felt more connected to him.
And, you know, he was listening to me and I had his full attention and all you would what happened?
He’s just, he was a war, I’ll but that’s what, that’s what this product this is, what the exam.
54:39
Ample of this is like men.
It gets to a point where her again, it’s not about not being able to produce not being enough to stop doing that.
But a lot of that is driven by our belief that alone that without that.
54:55
What are we who are?
We what do we have to bring to the table?
We don’t understand chemistry because we don’t understand love desire, being something that you can’t negotiate being something.
You can’t produce, you know, more times than not.
Garrett of putting aside affected, you can flip a girl or that element of it.
55:13
But just the corollary is that there’s no force on Earth.
That’s going to make a woman attractive to you who isn’t attractive to right.
You know, we understand that within ourselves.
Yeah, but again it goes back to how all of those the equivalent of what Disney movies to us, growing up, where the prince charming, where it was just everything he was doing, was getting a positive result from this girl.
55:38
And so when you go Go out there and the guy who didn’t put any effort into it gets the positive result, it you have two options.
You know you you processed that or you get angry because print for men.
There’s only two, only two.
55:53
Yeah, you do have two ways to go?
Yeah, two ways to deal with stuff.
That isn’t favorable, we deal, we have to deal with it internally and then talk about it when we’re ready or we get angry.
And yeah, sometimes both but depending on the situation, angry, Then process.
56:10
And so again it’s it’s an imperative that doesn’t is because when guys get this where I see happy because I want to give you like even a more of a example because a lot of times you may be listening to this and you might kind of get it but you really don’t know what that will actually look like in reality because guys who get this case is not that so much that they stop pursuing women is just that they stop trying to chat to to create it.
56:40
Is that make sense?
They stop trying to.
Yeah, that attraction.
And so it’s it changes.
The reason why you’re doing things in a very fundamental way.
Absolutely.
Like it’s the yeah, I like in women world, it’s a little like when I get people to stop trying too hard, it’s and in trying too hard and always like, we just it.
57:03
What it does is it makes everybody relax and then you know, actually connect.
And then I’ll Don’t really well.
All right because you want to put your energy in the right place because guys are always trying to produce something.
So it’s always required energy.
So we’re always being home.
We don’t, we do not think about that, right?
57:19
We have this big we wake up with this big ball of energy every day and has to go somewhere.
That’s probably a perfect metaphor for our sexuality as well.
We build up to a certain point and it got to get released one way or another.
Right.
It’s so when guys put that energy, G into the wrong thing.
57:41
They get really upset, we get really upset.
Well, waste our energy on something that doesn’t reciprocate or the value, the ROI isn’t.
Yeah, that yeah, that is true about Manic.
The if you’re do putting all of your doing into something and not getting something out of, it is a very upsetting experience, right?
57:59
And it’s upsetting for people, but I think that we don’t think about it in the same way.
Oh yeah.
I mean you don’t and I’m trying to think about like how we do think about But it’s different, it’s really different because there’s less of a like the goal in mind it you know, when it comes to like things that we’re doing in a relationship like we do not make you dinner with a goal in mind, most of the time, right?
58:25
Women tend to function like a diffused awareness like everything is just everything means something.
Everything means nothing all at the same time but yeah, that’s like you just explain chemist chaos.
Everything like you said, it’s not so much of buying the house.
58:45
It’s beautifying it right?
Creating the atmosphere, the environment that is Pleasant to be.
So feels good, so we can enjoy ourselves.
But as, as guys use, because it’s important for you to recognize of a woman as chemistry for you, it’s, I can’t stress that enough if well in a sad part is when guys like back, Way and get sad about this is like because this happens to guys, like freak out and run away when women had a lot of chemistry for them.
59:18
All right, because there’s we have, there’s nothing.
There’s nothing in life that contain wants to strangle you.
And like let all the air out of it.
Compared with the average guy doesn’t get touched like not even touch like through.
I mean a guy can go a long time without even being touched on the talk about sexually.
59:36
But just any kind of form a I’ll contact, I mean and so a girl who has chemistry for you.
All of a sudden you have this energy that is you don’t squint on your face right there.
There’s nothing in life that really prepares you for that kind of energy.
59:52
And so most guys don’t know what to do with it because at first, it feels like responsibility.
Yeah.
And a lot of people back away and they give you a whole talk about responsibility, alright?
And just one thing to remember, women is that, if guy does that you just you can wait him out because if you Like let off the gas on the chemistry and just leave them alone, sometimes they’ll be like, oh, I actually enjoyed that.
1:00:15
I just didn’t want you to strangle me.
Alright, I mean sighs, it takes us a little bit to get adjusted to it.
Yeah, because it’s usually a shock, I don’t care.
I’ll get the guy look.
I mean, when you get a girl who has true chemistry for you, that’s going to throw you off for a second because there’s another, you’re not that’s normal or near your normal in any way, shape, or form.
1:00:34
Going about your daily life as a man.
Now, so you all of a sudden you have all of this attention And and this, this this weight almost that you’re not prepared for and so most guys do, right?
Because they like said, they don’t know what to do with it.
But women, you have to be careful in this chemistry mode because it can, it’s very masculine energy.
1:00:53
Yeah, lll strangle them.
And so a lot of guys were running with and not be attracted to it, because it’s very aggressive.
Yeah.
Well that’s what that’s the the this situation, the root of the advice to lean back which is really A raw rear a concept.
1:01:10
Originally, the coach worry Ray, the root of that advice is all because of this phenomena, which is, you know let him come to sit back.
Like and the reason we even need that, reminder is because when we are that interested in you, this is what we do, right?
1:01:29
Girl, yeah, it’s just a biological perogative, you know, go and conquer him.
Make him yours.
Put them in the container, you know, strangling.
Well I want to say whatever you have to do.
Get a man, keep it man.
Yeah, like like he’s like a science project, you know, like oh God, I mean it’s I mean it.
1:01:50
But the point the point is not that we are out for anything – when we have these feelings, it’s just that we get so excited when that happens, because it doesn’t happen to us all that often.
Oh, no, it’s not a thing that necessarily.
Because again, it’s biology getting all, you know, excited.
1:02:09
I mean it’s really excited.
Biology all all wanting to make babies.
With you.
And, you know, if you don’t want babies, that’s a scary experience, right?
Because if it’s pushing you towards a guy who isn’t yeah?
Reciprocating any of that than that is.
1:02:25
Yo, dangers on the highest level when we come into a woman.
Alright, but again, as a guy because guys will will say they want this.
Most guys will hear this and be like, oh, this is wonderful.
1:02:44
Just wait until you get it.
Yeah because most of the time it happens happens with women that you’re not attracted to because guys act themselves when they’re around women, they’re not attracted to just like women.
A lot of times without act like who they are because again, when you’re around someone that you’re attracted to just wacky.
1:03:03
Yeah you naturally are going to they become a trophy right?
They become something that needs to be trying to lick their face all the time and so because Again, one of the most common things we get coming sayings or whatever issues that we get our.
1:03:19
Why do the all the people that I like?
Don’t like me.
The people that.
Yes, yes, oh yes.
Oh, this is why.
Because, again, it’s when you’re around somebody that you’re attracted to, you’re naturally going to function in a way that says, I’m trying to bring this person in.
1:03:36
When you’re around people, you’re not attracted to your, no one anything from.
It’s like you’re being incredibly powerful.
Is it credible to try?
Why we always say when you say well you know, some things are just cliche, but these things that clean some you say, look the most attractive feature you have is authenticity because that’s ultimately what a lot, what brings on a lot of this chemical attraction to you because when someone a woman can actually see what she’s getting, see one of the biggest things I realize women are afraid of is to be lied to about where I mean, we’re talking about just for actually from a biological standpoint.
1:04:09
We all know who’s that.
You are, who you say you are.
Then we have dead sperm and we have to get rid of that.
Exactly, he said, Nature’s raw.
I mean nature is it doesn’t play late Nature has no chill about any of this political played.
1:04:26
Correct stuff that we talk.
Now we don’t give a shit about that.
No tender online.
Dating is social Darwinism at its finest.
All right it’s just wrong, it’s wrong.
Well we can have opinions about that but that’s wonderful.
We don’t, you know, she’s don’t care.
1:04:43
Do you fit my biological ideal?
And that’s obviously going to be different for everybody can be different for you at different stages, a lot of times, but again, guys will get all happy when they hear about this because there’s like yeah I’m only going to deal with women who have chemistry for me and I was like, well okay if you want to bless you sir, yeah you want to go down that route because most guys would again, even if you’re thinking about it, even if you’re prepared for it, when it shows up it Going lots of weekend trips.
1:05:14
Yeah, it’s yours.
It’s something you’re going to have to know how to how to, you know, balance even out.
Because again, you won’t have a relationship with this person because it’ll just be this high, that will Lin look.
1:05:31
But she has a lot of training, like, unless she’s really done some work and can manage it.
Because, like, I train people to manage this.
Well, look, hey, this was the only times I’ve seen this.
Be met a exactly what you think about it.
It’s just a mess.
1:05:46
I mean it’s hard to to the only time I’ve seen women who’ve been able to manage if had to really be intentional about but that way, right?
And the other thing that helps is to have the guy already be in love with you before you feel this way about him.
Exactly that’s like, you know we this is one of the reasons why if you’re not attracted to him at the beginning, it can be really helpful because if you don’t have that chemistry for him yet and he’s doing and he really likes you and he’s doing a work.
1:06:12
To get to know you then it can be very good if you get this kind of chemistry with him after.
He’s already fallen in love with you because then it’s okay I mean it’s still kind of off-putting but it’s not as bad as if you have this for him and he just met you because that’s really hard to manage.
1:06:31
That’s really like doesn’t work very well but it were doing more than you like him and then all of a sudden this comes on for you.
That works fantastic and people get married and they put cute stickers.
Facebook that’s funny because that’s at the same time.
This is where a lot of times our are all calm sexual strategies kind of you know, because no guy no person is telling guys tough look for a woman like that, no woman, no God.
1:07:00
I was telling women to our tellin Telly, no guy, no, like guy dating coaches are guy advice.
People are telling men to look for a woman that you loved more than she loves you initially.
Well, that sounds horribly.
The thing is that if the guy picks with his eyes open, if it goes how it’s supposed to work, it works very well.
1:07:21
Is it the guy picks?
Because I, the woman picks with their ears, which is how we pick out women.
I mean, we pick out men.
Well, we do not pick out.
So if women go out and they try to pick with her eyes, they get into this situation.
If they pick with her ears, then they it all works out perfectly.
1:07:40
All right, guys, get in trouble.
When they again, when they go into it with this with their ideal that idealism, I didn’t realize how idealistic I?
Yeah.
I mean we live in the world of idealism.
We have a, which helps though, because you will forgive a lot of things because of that idealism.
1:07:57
Oh, I mean, he can get guy.
Was it a lot?
I mean my God like oh well yeah talking to men were total Fringe is over the years the hardest battles I’ve had with men.
Oh my God, I can’t even the hardest battles.
I’ve had with me with my friends, with me as been when we’ve been in our idealistic State and someone and it’s true in our life, you know what I mean in the time being and a guy’s trying to get us out of that the frozen lake, you know, metaphor.
1:08:25
It’s like you’re telling everyone is telling you, you know, but he’s just so like know what I mean.
It’s my standards are so high.
I can’t meet them.
Yeah it’s ridiculous because we think you fall in love the same way.
We do know just many women do this to each other all the time.
1:08:41
You think?
Where we think you know, just by default that we’re like each other and we’re not we’re not we are completely different.
I mean you.
Yeah.
But well in the the thing about negotiating that is understanding that it doesn’t mean that anybody is Wrong about the way that they pick out things.
1:09:03
No, I mean and what works for them because you just have to understand the other side.
You don’t have to necessarily like agree with it, you just have to understand that it’s different and then accept that it’s different and operate with it being different in your mind when you’re going about your relationships.
1:09:19
All right?
You know, if you can understand somebody, then you can get to a place where you can have a much better relationship with them rather than thinking that they have to conform to your Her ideals about how it should go.
That were, that doesn’t work all the time.
1:09:35
I mean, like a hundred percent of time that fails right?
100% of the time.
Yeah.
Someone asked me like, do I trust women?
I say well, I trust women to be women, you know?
I mean it’s and also blowing trust and really anybody isn’t necessarily a helpful thing.
I think you have to trust that again, understanding it.
1:09:53
So it’s always better to be aware that not right to be conscious of something than an ignorant about it.
But This is important for you to understand because for so many men I think this is should this should anyway, shift your energy into where you’re placing your energy sometimes all you need to do is just take what you’re doing.
1:10:14
All these any percent that you’re putting in this element, put it over here and you could have completely different results because yeah.
That’s very true.
You know men spend so much energy trying to negotiate desire that I wonder what they could produce if they.
1:10:30
Just just cut that and relax just relax on the issue.
You know.
Just like no that is not.
That is just it’s never going to be the way that it’s never going to produce the result that you are looking for because you cannot do that and it’s not your fault, it’s not her fault.
1:10:49
She cannot control it.
She does not have chemistry for you.
Right?
It’s yeah, yeah.
And when we tell you, we don’t, we really don’t do, they don’t you don’t like, you know, it’s just not.
There when women don’t have it for you.
I’m telling you you can be in her friends.
1:11:05
I mean guys.
It’s amazing because guys will be doing this for like 5 years, 10 years.
Yeah, the kiss know like yes.
It really tells us whether we have it or not.
It’s so that’s how you kissed her and then she says she doesn’t have it for you then you know that’s over, that’s it.
1:11:21
Go move on like you could flip her over before the kiss, you know, but until the kiss and then after that, we know and it’s that’s it.
It and we need it like and we don’t want to hurt your feelings but we can’t we can’t do anything about it.
Like there are people that I wish I had chemistry for I literally like over my course of my life.
1:11:42
I’ve been like you know, it would be really great if I had chemistry for you because you’re fantastic but no like darn it, it’s frustrating.
Like we don’t like putting we know friend-zoning people and not be.
We would love to be attracted to you if we were sometimes, you know, because a lot of the people that would want That or was or were hoping to flip us over like creative relationship or the ones where it’s like darn it?
1:12:07
You know, I just don’t feel it for him.
Absolutely.
That is the number one such proposal and it’s like a, that’s what breaks the Matrix for guys.
It’s what has guys this truth, right here, when guys get this, this, you’d be surprised how almost traumatizing it is for men, really?
1:12:27
Yeah.
Because they just like, when they really understand, As they understand it it just was never going to happen that they did.
They can’t what they were doing wasn’t going to change this because a lot of them don’t even realize.
This is what they truly are trying to change.
1:12:42
Autumn are going to build a verbalize it obviously, that’s not really sure.
You got the right working on Earth, still working on this your we’re educated on this.
This type of this subject of evolutionary psychology.
Most guys don’t understand that this is the whole time what they were trying to do, why don’t I Sales is got a prostitute, right?
1:13:03
You’re talking about this after the call last time.
Yeah, you’re right.
They don’t because they want the actual experience, they want the whole thing, but the one genuine desire.
Yeah.
And they’ve given up on getting it and have become bitter and then spiraled, right?
1:13:19
Because everyone keeps thinking it’s about sex and involuntary, celibacy, that’s the whole, you know, that is the term in, so comes from right.
It’s involuntary celibacy but that’s so cool.
Just so funny because it’s like, just most defeatist idea ever, right?
1:13:34
And it’s the most wrong idea ever because it’s not even about the sex.
It’s never been about to say, yes.
Try to kiss her early on.
I mean, I don’t need Force.
Everybody who’s listening?
I mean, try if you’re trying to date a girl like move the process along, try to kiss her try to move it into the Physical Realm and then if she doesn’t into that, then, you know, and you can move on and move on move on.
1:14:01
This is the crescendo this whole conversation.
This is how you as a man will be able to completely change the dynamic of your relationship process because you will have so much more energy and intention for other opportunities with women because you’re no longer spending it on trying to negotiate this desire no longer trying to to do this anymore.
1:14:26
Yeah Elizabeth said went you know early on because you’ll know quickly if a girl has this if she’s not already chasing you because a lot of times this is one of the you know girls will chase you when you’re in the when she’s in this mode.
But let’s just say it’s not on that level initially yet you are the girl doesn’t or the girl knows better than to chase you.
1:14:46
All right, she might just she might just know better and because I’m not never going to chase you, but I might want to lick your face.
And so if that’s not the chase is adapter yet and you’re sick, go out there she, you know, poop and I’m say, push the physical be extended and Try to kiss it, put yourself in the queue.
1:15:04
Try to do it physical round because trust one that’s not that’s don’t wait for her to kiss you.
That’s dumb the wait forever especially she doesn’t think she feels it for you.
That’s the thing is we don’t think we want to kiss you at that point.
Before you flipped us over.
1:15:22
We don’t really think like I’ve sat across the table with really nice people and been like, yeah, this is it the Okay, we’re never going to see each other again and then they you know, I end up marrying them so but that’s what this does.
1:15:40
So you know, as long as they’re feeling to like keep you know, pushing that ball across the line, then they might get somewhere and, you know, but you can’t do that if you don’t try to do something physical with her, you know, if she doesn’t want to do something physical, you will find out who is anything for you, but it looks cool.
1:15:59
No.
Our again, one of the things that the show requires is like, are we doing what I do?
Quieter than Elizabeth.
And I both do what we do requires constant self-examination, right?
Or concert they get better, you know, you’re constantly having to think about your own situations and your own behavior and what has happened in your life, you know, personally and all that but one of the things I’ve done a lot of things wrong in my life, I’ll meet you.
1:16:24
Yeah.
Like, let’s get out.
I mean, we’ll have but there’s anything I’ve done, right?
It was almost kind of natural for me.
I don’t really know why this was more of a natural thing.
Maybe just kind of how the girls I’ve talked to when I was really my the first like two or three girls that I talked to like really talk to when I started to actually hit that like 12 13 years old.
1:16:47
Yeah.
A genuine desire for me.
And I realized that that and because of they had that initially, it became my default and so that became my bra.
No, you started accepting the idea that they would.
1:17:04
That, that was my normal.
See most guys don’t start out there and I realize why did wasn’t this something you got early spoiled but not in a good way, right?
I got oil and so to me it was always strange because it’s like a lot of times are thinking.
1:17:20
Like you don’t really have a lot.
The issues that, you know, we’re having a.
You don’t seem to struggle like that.
I mean, I struggled just in kind of different ways but I wasn’t having a certain problem that a lot of guys around me were having and I now I realized because I just don’t get involved with women who don’t have genuine desire for me and I realized it was because I was so smart or so special it just because of my early experiences it created that what that’s what Creed my normal.
1:17:47
And so I didn’t even see it.
Like we said earlier, you don’t see what’s normal for you.
Yeah.
It’s the air and water thing, right?
It’s to me I thought that’s the way it was supposed to be and most guys think negotiating desire is the way it’s supposed to be just like, they don’t see that it has negotiated desire.
1:18:04
I didn’t see it as that.
I wasn’t, you know, right?
Yeah.
You already accepted that you are already the main show.
No problem.
Exactly is why.
Me a lot of ways I’ve had to tap down a different things.
It had nothing to do with you.
Think I was so cute and attractive.
1:18:20
It was just, I was just used to being responded to a certain way, right?
Totally.
Undone that.
Yeah, I had a similar experience early on and then like went through it’s like where you accidentally do something and then you can’t reproduce it, right?
1:18:38
So there was a long time where I was like, what did I do, what was it?
You know.
And then I had to Become a coach to figure it out but but those early experiences where you just you know you’re like natural.
It’s like beginners, look but with relationship, right?
1:18:55
Was just one of those things that I just, you know, got almost got lucky with with just so, you know, just the right.
You got sent to me that way, you know, a few times early enough that it just caught on and it did well.
You know, to me I was just like, whoa, why are you?
1:19:10
So a lot of times I would go into my life, like why are you doing that?
And I didn’t I don’t understand why like you were do.
A lot of guys were doing the things that they were doing and I genuinely didn’t understand, I wasn’t trying to be me too.
I just didn’t understand because it didn’t seem.
1:19:25
I didn’t have to do any of that, right?
It’s like, when you were working too hard.
I like, all right.
That’s why I always you are, that is not going to be working well for you, because that is too much.
That’s what it always look like.
It looks like you were always trying way too hard and I don’t, I didn’t realize that a lot of times I would be in that situation.
1:19:45
I would respond in some way.
We’re essentially I was saying, looks like you’re doing too much or working too hard.
Yeah.
I’d like a lot of my guy friends was kind of, look at me to kind of look at each other and kind of respond to each other, like, Tails wrong with you.
Like what are you talking about?
Like, this is and I thought I was the weird one.
Like wait, so wait, I’m supposed to do that and it’s a that’s where my confusion growing up came from because I thought I was supposed to be doing more than I was doing.
1:20:08
Even though I felt like I was getting responses and results that I wanted pretty much just fine.
You know.
Yeah.
But I didn’t know that you know.
So let’s kind of totally your finger inside and some yeah.
But it was so people used to catch wild mustangs By ignoring them.
1:20:27
All right, you know, like so like and they must have discovered this by like just getting tired of chasing them so they couldn’t catch him by chasing him and they finally, you know, kind of gave up and they realize that the Mustangs were just follow them right back to the car.
1:20:44
Well, like, once they weren’t paying attention, once they didn’t care once they gave up that desire, suddenly they had a trail of horses behind them and see in that was like the first time I made a phone call to a girl.
I was probably, you know almost at the end of high school, you know, and that was strange to me because I don’t understand why this girl wasn’t calling me, you know, I met in Anderson.
1:21:09
But look what you did.
You could you started pursuing her when she didn’t pursue you you started pursuing her right?
What everybody does.
This isn’t male or female just human rights.
Like wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I was the main show at what is happening.
Right?
Exactly.
You know, I didn’t understand that that wasn’t It was weird.
1:21:28
I remember, I still remember how weird it felt to do that and I I didn’t like it and I didn’t, I didn’t still did it.
I did it.
And I remember as well, a lot of times, no, we’re at that point, especially when I started becoming more things and started learning and, you know, all that kind of stuff I started to have to do certain thing tension.
1:21:46
I had to Elizabeth a long time ago like I approach dating extremely intentional because I have to because my default to not to do anything that’s And for a guy to do because that wasn’t my normal.
That wasn’t.
1:22:02
That’s not my default.
My default is not to like, oh, let’s go out and hit on girls, I think.
I don’t.
I’ve never had any useless activity, right?
Seems using simple weird.
It’s like, why would you like, longer than understand the idea that you think you can just go up to some girl, I asked her out and like that work out?
1:22:17
Well, it seemed ridiculous to me.
The thought that, that could work out that way.
Well, for you, you know, I don’t like know the women come to you.
Yeah, we like you, they call you, right?
I didn’t understand will be back in the day when they actually had, like, all people that to me, that’s what that’s what happened.
1:22:35
And so it’s one of those things were when I had to learn how to become a grown-up, you know what I mean?
And I had to learn different things.
I was like, well, the thing about this is you don’t get to choose who comes to you, that had to put me in a more of a female Paradigm, but not like that aspect.
Yes.
1:22:50
Oh God, there’s a big meal coach who I won’t name, who says that you want, you know, he tries to get the guys to make the women.
Him.
I mean, make the women come to the men all the time and the hard part about that is that he doesn’t realize that you’re throwing women into their masculine when they do that, right?
1:23:07
And so you’re going to end up with very masculine women and that is a fine experience except that you may not enjoy that experience.
So if you is a default man, if you’re waiting for women to call you, you’re going to get masculine masculine women and there’s nothing wrong with masculine women.
1:23:23
They are just masculine women.
So understand that if later Iran, you’re like, why are you not more feminine?
That’s not fair.
And that’s one of the things that I, you know, kind of by default learned how to do.
Because you’re right, A lot of times when women would come to me now that I’m aware of this, the you’re coming in that masculine energy, right?
1:23:43
When someone is pursuing you you have two options you either run or you submit, right?
And so I learned how to do was when all I need to do is women to come, then I knew how to flip it and allow her to be back in her feminine.
But again, I really wasn’t intentional either.
1:23:59
It was just because as that was my normal.
Yeah.
I had to learn how to flip the energy back over or else it wasn’t or else it was going to be a really super comfortable have to dude, sitting on the couch with burping each other.
That’s what happened.
You get two dudes talking and both of you are just trying to do the same thing, right?
1:24:18
And so again, this is something to wear a lot of guys would love that.
I hear so many guys that they would love to be.
The pursue we you know to help like right whole threads on Reddit about this.
All right Lillian up and I’m telling you as a guy toward that that has been my normal, it’s not careful what you wish for careful what you wish for because it is not what you think it is because guys think it’s how they feel right now.
1:24:49
Just with that one thing different.
And if it doesn’t, this this literal conversation is why Bumble doesn’t work right?
Right?
Bumble, doesn’t it flips the Paradigm too much.
It doesn’t work.
Right?
Because I’m, I mean, you know, I haven’t actually gone on record as saying that it doesn’t work, but it does not work.
1:25:07
Don’t do it.
It’s funny because I always thought it was the best option for everybody thinks that it’s horrible.
But now that we’ve talked about this on, like, it’s gonna because most guys will don’t know how to do that.
Most guys will not know how because we’re guys, guys, exercise to do, this is a very, very small portion of the population.
1:25:27
You have any idea how to reverse or change polarity in a relationship?
And most of them are coaches.
So, you know, that’s why coaches, tell you to go ahead and pick your energy source and stay in that one because it’s much easier to do that than it is to change course, halfway down the stream.
1:25:45
All right?
That’s hard for us to do let alone for like people who have no idea what’s happening.
That’s true because it took me like 10 years to learn how to change plate.
I had to do it by Surfer survival sake, because you like, why am I getting all these things I don’t want, right?
Exactly, I just keep getting women.
1:26:00
I’m not interested.
Is that can’t be the case, right?
So I didn’t understand what was what was wrong, and then I kind of again on accident.
It flipped, one time, and I realized, uh, okay, yeah, that’s true.
This is how it happens.
Because a lot of times guys are wanting girls to pursue them so you can tune to avoid the fear that the girls not yet.
1:26:24
And so yeah.
Well I, you know, I understand not wanting to be rejected.
Certainly like it makes sense to me, why logically that Would be a really nice position to be in the problem.
Is it changes the polarity so much that once they get that?
Like once the girl actually the sad part is once the woman actually pursues them, then they like smack her hand, right?
1:26:43
You know, like she comes over here.
She does exactly what you think you want.
And then you’re like irritated that, that’s what you know, like you act men acts completely different when women pursue them.
Oh, absolutely.
Because most men, finally get the first understanding of the difference between male and female energy.
1:27:01
Yeah, the most guys have no.
It would have no effect.
We talked about male female energy that would just go right over guys.
Say they have no idea what you’re talking about until you talk about the business style.
I got it as a business talk but at a business conference, a couple of months ago, like it length because I was frustrated with it.
1:27:18
But, you know, you lots of people were were confused.
They don’t understand the why you’re uncomfortable with it.
Why you respond, why are you responding to it the way you are with distance and running away?
And his kind of Trying to keep it at arm’s.
Length is because you’re being exposed to your own energy.
1:27:35
You know, if you’re a heterosexual male you’re not going to be a dragon to that.
No.
Well and also that, I mean, if you really want to friendzone a guy and not hurt his feelings, all you have to do, is reverse the polarity in the relationship.
Oh, that’s it.
I just pursue them like it’s like just start pursuing.
1:27:51
I’m just flip it over.
Start pursuing him.
Start making plans, I don’t know that.
But the thing is, you’ll drive them away naturally, he’ll never know.
Screw you.
Yeah, you just you just change a party start challenging as ideas.
1:28:08
Start, you know, like giving them a lot of suggestions.
Well, for the fellas out there, I’ll give you this little tidbit for who are really wanting to be more in the pursuit seat, nor the one being pursued.
See, you can’t allow you can’t let women pursue you want to let them initiate.
1:28:27
Yes, difference because most guys want the pursuit to feel safe that she’s interested.
So they They keep meeting her to do because they really want to be pursued.
They just want to know that you like some sugar and angry.
As a guy, you have to know the difference between initiating and and pursue if you’re trying to change the polarity, all you should need is the initiation and then you should take it from there.
1:28:55
But again, that’s just a little beginners.
Yeah, that’s a great.
That’s a really great.
And also like if if she pops up at all, then you take the reins and start making plans and doing things.
So she shows up at all, then, you know, can can flip the polarity by then taking charge of the situation but you can’t wait for her to always initiate or like, oh, you know, 75% of the time, she has to text you because, you know, you might never hear from you if you try to do that shit, right?
1:29:25
I mean don’t don’t play with this, right?
Because to me it’s a gift to me.
I can’t I’m I’m, I’m not gonna lie.
I am addicted to it, like I can’t deal.
Elizabeth told me, I was spoiled the other day result of this because I’m that’s to me.
1:29:42
It’s that’s, you know, having steak and trying to go back to spam.
Like I don’t I can’t really deal with anything else because I’ve learned how to manage it.
I learned what it looks like in though because to me having that energy from a woman is like the greatest thing on the planet because Has so many benefits as you know, a lot of different things.
1:30:06
But really everything because it really does.
But like I said, if it was a guy, if you’re not comfortable with that experience, they were be able to really experience the quality of it and what it can really do for you.
And what the experience, you can give to a woman, who’s, who’s feeling on, that’ll about you.
1:30:27
Yeah.
What if you cherish, if you cherish a woman, Who’s treating you like that, like, you will end up with a great relationship.
Like it’s you’ll never want anything else.
You’ll never want anything you’ll die.
I’ll never ever.
Ever.
Again ever deal, the woman and semen.
1:30:43
And again, I understand there’s going to be women that I like, I want that won’t have that.
That won’t respond to me like that and I got to be okay with it there.
This doesn’t show up every day.
You could go a while without having a woman respond to you like that, but to me it’s worth it because I I’ve learned one thing I’ve learned from women over this That women are about quality.
1:31:04
Yeah, and guys are about quantity and one thing that I’ve learned, I remember like biology just like biology.
I mean when I was at my friend’s house last weekend, one of the girls was on Bumble and I was watching her do bumble from a female’s you know and it was fascinating oh I bet it was that your whole a particular thing like we should just put a pin in this and do an episode about this experience, touching your friend.
1:31:29
I’m so down because I learn And so I was talking to her.
I mean, everyone was laughing because I was, I was stunned.
And like she was just sitting right next to me.
She was like, okay, you know, like he looks cute here that she goes to the second picture, but you don’t look cute in this picture, you know.
So she goes left and then she goes another guy.
1:31:46
No, no, no, she likes the picture.
She goes out, she read something likes that.
Oh, he has a dog, but he’s with this guy right here.
I don’t like pictures.
Welcome to or God?
No, don’t tell your listeners not to have you know, the guys not to have profile pictures with other guys.
I’m just like, you know, just blown away.
1:32:01
By the, you know, how to your level of standards and Bone.
Yeah, the sheer level of standards and it was, you know, it was funny too because another guy was there and he had his Bumble.
Ian is fine.
It was just, you know, first pictures left or right on she’s cute, she’s cute, she’s cute.
1:32:17
Yeah, she’s cute.
You know me that was it, you know, it didn’t go any farther than that, no deeper analysis.
So, deeper analysis.
And, and and so, but yeah, I’m So we scour those photos, we look at the background.
1:32:34
We’re looking what kind of t-shirt you’re wearing?
You want to know if you have an earring or not, we look at all of it.
The growth of the greatest thing is what you like that, one photo.
But then like the second guys you’re losing it and the second and third photos.
I’m telling you what, great, you better be careful.
1:32:51
So many guys.
She’s she went all of them.
So start with the crappy photo and then get better obey.
Yeah.
Dirk the purple.
You know, you in the morning photo and then move to something like where you’re wearing a tuxedo and you will get more responsive.
1:33:09
You got to be careful that guys, cuz again, like she’s got a kind of you can tell she was just robbing the guys that were her tight and, you know, our guy, she liked something about their picture, their personality, she liked, then once you go into the second and third, I swear guys were losing it, like all the guys.
A lot of guys was getting to know strictly because she went to your second and third photos and it wasn’t some was wrong.
1:33:28
Something was off about it.
So he looks cute in this picture you done with you.
This picture.
Oh my god.
Well, yeah, well, I’m not coming from a position of having been on a lot.
I mean, hundreds of online dates, there is like an averaging that goes on in your mind where, like, you know what, they really look like based on the average of all of their photos, you know, will be attracted to this person most likely based on, oh, that one’s not good but this one’s better.
1:33:52
Okay, so this is like in the middle and you can decide based on that, we definitely think about it all more.
All right, I think that’s good.
Fortune.
I think we got kind of hours of it.
1:34:08
Yeah, we went through a lot of different elements of this, the pie, something you have to re-listen to and do all that.
But I like it because I think we got through a lot of different elements of chemistry and men and women and that I think will definitely be helpful.
So yeah, I agree.
1:34:24
This has been a fun one.
Absolutely.
So yeah, thank you guys for tuning help.
I hope that helps and I hope you got someone’s eyes were open and I hope that you start to understand yourself a little bit better to me.
That’s all I care about.
1:34:40
I’m not really concerned about you really understanding other people as much as kind of knowing you, so I’m glad hopefully that helped in that endeavor, but you can go to our website there.
Ryan group, podcast.com Elizabeth, you want to let folks know about all the jackass Am track.
1:34:59
The one.com is my website and And that’s where you can find me as well, as several other authors who are wonderful.
And I hope everybody has a great afternoon Day morning, wherever you are.
Whoever you are, thanks for listening to us.
Yes.
Thank you.
1:35:15
Elizabeth for coming on, and hanging out.
Thanks for having me.
It’s always a wonderful time.
Absolutely.
So again, thank you guys.
Enjoy the rest of your like Elizabeth and day night evening wherever you are in the world.
No, excuse me.
And we will to you talk to you next time.
1:35:34
Thank you has been.
Thank you.