If you’re a man who has gone through a divorce, you may be thinking that your next partner can be found in Thailand.
I’ve lived in Thailand for over seven years and know first-hand that divorced men retire in Thailand for the low cost of living and hope of meeting and dating a Thai woman.
But is that the best idea?
Here are four reasons why dating in Thailand may not be the answer to finding love after you get a divorce:
1. Your interests will differ greatly.
I could not believe how much of a culture clash there was when I came to Thailand.
My girlfriend of over five years didn’t know the TV show Dallas, the singer Billy Joel, or the writer Stephen King.
…And, I was no better.
In return I did not know any of the famous Thai singers, TV shows, or writers.
When you look to find a partner, you’ll typically look for someone who has similar interests as you.
This is not the case in Thailand. Your interests, hobbies, and ideas on life will differ so greatly that it’s often unbelievable.
When I first came to Thailand, I would only ever listen to music with English lyrics, but now I know a few Thai singers, who I love.
I didn’t listen to them by choice – my girlfriend would play their music and that is how I was introduced.
You must be willing to change and experience new things if you date a Thai woman.
If you are firm on what you like and don’t like, then finding love will be an uphill battle.
2. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side (for both of you).
My friends always say things like:
“I bet your girlfriend can’t wait to live in the UK.”
Her real answer could not be further from the truth.
Thai people have a huge sense of community and family. They love their own culture, food, music, and each other.
Children start sending money to their parents as soon as they get a job as a way to thank them for raising them.
This is a tradition that has gone on for as long as anyone can remember.
One big issue that Thai women have with moving away from Thailand is not being able to call your country their home.
There’s a common theme of divorced men bringing their wives back with them and their partner ends up hating it because they have lost their culture and community.
Community and family may not be that important in western culture, but they are HUGE in the East.
Imagine if you were taken away from everyone you knew to live in a new country where you may not know the native language very well, cannot work, and have zero friends.
If you do have a full-time job, your partner will be home alone bored. This is a common problem with inter-cultural relationships in Thailand.
If you do plan on bringing your Thai partner back home with you, make sure you give her most of your free time so she is not lonely, and encourage her to join local communities and make friends.
Most men who date and marry Asian women tend to ignore this advice for dating women in Thailand, and it’s a recipe for disaster.
3. Thai people don’t live to work.
I came to live in Thailand from the UK, where one of the most important parts of your life is your career.
In Thailand a career doesn’t exist for most people.
Companies commonly stop hiring people over the age of 30 because their salary is too high due to experience. Instead, companies opt for university graduates due to lower wages.
Most of the Thai workforce are in job roles with limited chance of progression.
If you’re a career-oriented person and would want your Thai partner to be the same, it’s much less likely for you to find that in Thailand.
I would often get into arguments with my girlfriend because I would tell her to find a job with a career path, and she just looked at me like I was crazy.
Thailand is a Buddhist country and so the culture doesn’t value a salary like we do in the West.
Thais are much more relaxed about their careers, and it took me a while to adjust to that way of life.
4. If you’ve been hurt– take a good look at yourself first.
If you’ve made it here, you’ve probably had your heart broken at least once in your life.
Rather than making rash decisions like moving to Thailand looking for love, get in touch with your feelings and emotional state.
Ask yourself if your intentions are right for seeking love overseas and that it’s not because you have a hatred or dislike for women in your own country based on your past experience.
For every woman that has broken a guy’s heart, there is a guy who has done the same to a woman.
5. Dating in Thailand is great, but go with the right intentions.
I’ve been with my Thai girlfriend for over five years and we’ve had our ups and downs, like any normal relationship.
I used to be a career-oriented person. I thought that we should all work hard for our retirement and that anybody who didn’t was asking for a life of trouble.
It’s human behavior to look for a partner we have a lot in common with, and that is a reason why dating sites work so well.
A Thai woman won’t have a lot in common with you, but if you can get over that she will show you an entire new world you have never seen before.
For me that was perfect, as I love to travel and love to immerse myself in new interests.
But not everybody is like that, and that’s okay.
If you’re at the stage of your life where you know what you like and don’t like, Thailand, or any country with a culture barrier, is not a good idea to find love again.
However, if you’re willing to jump into the unknown and are ready for BIG changes, then you can certainly find a great partner in Thailand.
I’ve lived in Thailand long enough to see men who don’t want to change or introduce themselves to new cultures end up in very empty relationships where neither partner is happy.
MORE: How To Move On After Divorce When It Wasn’t Your Idea
