Today, we’re going to talk about something that’s a little bit more serious.
More often than you would think, people write in to ask what to do if your ex has some sort of mental illness like depression, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder or something like that.
First, I have to preface this by saying I’m not a Psychologist, I’m a coach.
Even if I was a Psychologist, this just an article, not me diagnosing anyone or giving actual medical advice. I don’t know you or your ex, and I most likely haven’t interacted with them. And even if I did, it probably was not enough or in a substantial way to actually able to diagnose them in a way where I could give any meaningful specific mental health advice.
Of course if you suspect this is the problem, see a Psychologist or get your ex to see a Psychologist. But, when it comes to getting your ex back who has a mental disorder, this is what you need to know.
You have to emotionally accept that your ex has this condition whatever it is.
You have to be emotionally OK with the fact that this is the way that this person is. Your ex is a person that has ________ disorder, _______ syndrome, or ________ illness. You have to be emotionally OK with that.
Depending on whatever the specific mental illness is, it might be temporary or permanent. And you have to accept that too.
You have to think to yourself, “Hey, if I get into a relationship with somebody who has borderline personality disorder, I will experience the consequences of being in a relationship with somebody who has borderline personality disorder.”
By acceptance, what I’m saying is that you should NOT expect them to change for you. How you found them is how they are likely to stay.
This means if your ex or anybody that you’re dating has borderline personality disorder, they will probably always have borderline personality disorder.
If they have depression, it will probably always have some sort of depression in their life.
If they have bipolar disorder, they’ll probably always have bipolar disorder in their life. Sure, there is medication and treatment. Again, I’m not a Psychiatrist or medical professional so this is not medical advice. But, you have to accept your partner as they are and assume that how you found them is how they are likely to stay.
Can people change? Yes.
Do people change? Yes.
But can expect that you will change them? No.
Can you expect that the power of your love will change them? No.
Can you expect to learn a secret text message technique that will cause them to finally stop being emotionally unavailable and learn to love you and only you for now and forever? Definitely no.
Again, the golden rule here is how you found them is how they are likely to stay.
So, from this point of view, you have a choice. You have to choose to either pursue a relationship with them and accept the consequences of being in a relationship with a person who has some sort disorder, disease, illness or whatever.
If you choose to accept that, you have to be emotionally OK with the fact that sooner or later you’ll deal with the consequences of that.
Again, I don’t– I don’t know what particular illness your ex, significant other, boyfriend, girlfriend, has but you have to be emotionally OK with the illness.
And, if you are not, it’s totally OK.
You don’t have to be in a relationship with somebody who has borderline personality disorder, bipolar disorder or depression.
You don’t have to be in a relationship with somebody who has any of these things.
If you choose not to, then you have to let go of that person and decide for yourself, “Mental illness is not something that I’m prepared to deal with. So, I’m going to go out and see if I can find a relationship with somebody who doesn’t have this disorder, illness or whatever.”
So, that’s what I recommend if you are experiencing a relationship issue with somebody who has mental illness.
I hope this helps you out. If you want to learn more about how you can connect with, rekindle and get back into a relationship with your ex, make sure you visit my website here and fill out the quick quiz.
After you do that, I’ll send your free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.). Then, watch your email inbox for more customized tips and strategies to help you get back together with your ex.