Hi, I’m Elizabeth Stone. Here’s today’s question about whether a reader should wait for his partner or move on:
My partner for 8yrs left me and our daughter (8yrs old) saying he is not happy anymore. This was all of a sudden and I thought we were okay. He keeps visiting our home every weekend. He said he is finding himself.
Should I wait or should I move on?
He knows that we are waiting for his decision if he will come back or not. He still has some of his stuff at home.
Just looking at reality here– so far– it looks like waiting has not yielded the result it seems you’ve been hoping for.
Let’s look at the reality of what’s happening in your situation:
You got left by an unhappy person who decided to leave your family because he imagined he would be happier somehow without you.
So you’re waiting around, essentially trying to provide him with the same comforts that he chose to leave, hoping that will change his mind?
So far, your remedy is to offer more of what he chose to leave behind and not less.
Maybe it’s time to try the opposite strategy.
One thing people do all the time with relationships is keep trying to jam the wrong key into a lock. You wouldn’t do this with your car keys, so don’t do it in relationships.
Your ex partner hasn’t gotten much closer to you with you waiting around for him.
Great, so maybe it’s time to look at reality and then try something else.
Now, if you’re actually asking me whether there is a chance for your relationship, I’m a very hopeful human. I tend to believe that people change in big and small ways all the time.
Feeling hopeful doesn’t mean that accepting reality is any less important.
Optimism without a lot of attachment to outcome tends to help people reconnect relationships. So does acting as though your opinion of yourself is the most important thing.
So, I’ll approach this from another angle.
Does it feel good to you to wait around?
If you knew a good friend in this position, what would you tell them if you knew you could say anything and have it be received thoughtfully?
The wisdom about what to do is already inside you, it might be about following through with it.
To find out 7 key ways women block themselves from attracting lasting love, sign up for my free masterclass 7 Blocks to Manifesting Love.
