I’m Kate Spring, a dating and relationship coach from the west coast of Canada.
For the majority of my life, when I thought about teasing, I thought about playground bullying. “Ohhhhh snap, look at Kevin! He can’t even tie up his own shoelaces so he’s still wearing Velcro!” Or something silly like that.
Or I would think about the times that boys would tease me in elementary school, which just meant that they liked me. But some of that teasing could be really hurtful.
That’s not the type of flirtatious teasing that I want to touch on here.
Teasing, when used correctly, can actually yield some positive responses in terms of dating and attraction.
Today we will be looking at how to tease a woman to spark her interest in you.
Teasing is defined as, “to make fun of or attempt to provoke a person in a playful way.”
That doesn’t sound so terrifying. I should also mention that bullying and teasing are two vastly different things and we won’t touch on bullying at all.
Ok, back to teasing. Teasing is one of the oldest forms of flirting there is.
Like I said, women are taught from a very young age that when boys tease them, it means that they really like you. We’ve naturalized this behavior as a method of courtship.
Teasing sparks a back and forth interaction between two people. It shows that you’re paying attention to more than just a woman’s looks because here you won’t be teasing a woman on her looks, but instead you will be noticing some of her quirks and mannerisms.
Teasing is something that will help you set yourself apart from the pack. It is something that nice guys have a problem employing in attracting women. Kind of like my friend Dylan.
When I first started out in the coaching field, I was helping my guy friend Dylan out at a bar who had just met a girl. I was sitting right behind them and could hear everything that they were saying. He wanted me to assess what he was doing wrong.
Their conversation started with Dylan asking what the girl was doing there. She responded with a sarcastic remark saying, “I’m actually in the witness protection program just filming the pilot for my new reality show… see the cameras?” (she pointed to the bouncer).
Dylan said, “Oh, no way! When is it supposed to air?”
Face-palm.
He took this woman’s sarcasm literally, which did something unfavorable for him, which placed him in the naïve, gullible, nice guy category.
He didn’t flick the attraction switch at all, but nailed the pity switch.
The thing about women is that a little teasing can go a long way. It is a foolproof way to instigate some flirty banter.
In order for it to be playful and fun, you have to also tease yourself or make fun of yourself.
This way you ensure that you a) don’t hurt her feelings and b) you give her the ok to dish it back to you.
Teasing also creates sexual tension. And it sets you apart from the pack of nice guys out there who are too afraid to push a woman’s boundaries.
This is also a good way for you to exude your masculine confidence, which allows a woman to tap into her feminine side and feel girly when she’s around you.
So how you go about teasing a woman to build attraction and not offend her is as follows:
1. Give her a silly nickname.
One of the simplest ways to tease a girl is to give her a nickname that pokes fun at one of her quirks.
Is she a petite girl? You can call her smalls.
Does she snort when she laughs at one of your jokes?
You could say “thanks Miss Piggy you make me feel as funny as Eddie Murphy” but say it with a smile so that she knows you’re not calling her fat.
If she trips in front of you, catch her and bring her into an embrace and stroke her arm and say, “Aww there there honey don’t worry you didn’t embarrass yourself too much” but say it in your sarcastic tone while you’re playfully babying her.
2. Playfully mock her.
The next type of playful teasing is super easy to carry in your back pocket is our next example which is to mimic your girl.
For example, if a girl gets frustrated, put your hands on your hips and huff and puff and mimic her frustration in an exaggerated way to lighten the mood and poke fun at her response.
You will most definitely get her laughing at your response. The whole point about teasing is to use it to keep the mood light and to create a rapport with a woman.
Back and forth banter that allows you both to send and receive some teasing.
3. Make fun of her quirks.
Observe one of her quirks and then poke a little fun at it.
Is she kind of clumsy?
If a girl spills her drink in front of you, you could say, “next time we go out I’ll be sure to bring one of my nephew’s sippy cups for you” and throw her a little wink.
You’re not saying, “oh my god klutz,” you’re trying to also show her that you think her quirks are cute and sweet.
That’s why it’s essential that teasing is playful and light-hearted and you have the right intentions going into a situation like this with a woman.
4. Exaggerate your gestures and reactions.
If you want to really poke fun at a girl, you could always exaggerate your shocked response to what she says.
For example when she says she’s a Game of Thrones fan, throw your hands over your mouth and say, “oh my God, I totally pegged you for a Real Housewives of Orange County type of girl, my apologies. You don’t look like a throny.”
Play on stereotypes about males and females.
If she orders a beer, grab her arm and look at her with wide-eyed shock and say, “I for sure thought you were a vodka cranberry kind of girl” or you could exaggerate your response by asking her, “what kind of music do you like? If you say anything from the 90s I might have to jump in front of a taxi.”
Exaggerations are great because if they are grand enough then the girl with whom you’re speaking will know that it’s a joke and that you’re just having some fun.
5. Tickling.
For a fifth and final teasing method, I want to turn your attention to a nonverbal way to tease which is tickling.
This is a great way to ramp up a woman’s attraction for you and also a great way to increase the sexual tension between you.
The tickling I’m talking about is not straight for the armpit tickle that could really make a woman mad. Because, if you’re flirting and you go for the armpit and she’s sweating– she doesn’t want you to know that she’s sweating.
The place to tickle her is right under the ribs on either side of her stomach.
For example, if your girl teases you back with a pretty good imitation of you, then you could gently poke her side and say, “you think you’re pretty funny don’t you?”
This lets a woman know that you’re confident and comfortable with yourself and you are not afraid to touch her.
It also instigates a little bit of sexual tension because that’s essentially what tickling is.
Importantly, it shows that you want and are capable of communicating with women when you’re flirting with and teasing them.
Playful teasing is the oldest and most often used form of flirting.
It’s easy and it makes a girl feel giddy when she’s around you so use it to your advantage. Just make sure that it’s not mean.
And there you have five ways to playfully tease a woman to spark her interest.
To learn more about building and maintaining attraction with a woman then head over to my free presentation on building attraction here.
You’ll discover the secret language that makes a woman feel an uncontrollable obsession for you.
