I’m Kate Spring, a dating and relationship coach from the west coast of Canada.
Today we’re going to talk about how to build rapport with a woman.
Rapport is an essential part of human interaction.
It’s all about making a connection.
You might have heard me talk about the importance of communication.
93% of communication is non-verbal and only 7% of communication is verbal.
This means that only 7% of the time that we spend conversing with people is affected by our words.
Rapport is a form of communication.
It’s communicating in such a way where the purpose is to build closeness.
When you’re interested in building rapport with a woman, you’re not so focused on WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.
There are three ways that you can effectively build rapport with a woman through matching and mirroring.
There are three things to mirror and match: your posture, rhythm of breath, and tone.
1. Posture.
What is your communication partner doing with her hands?
Is she slouching or seated upright?
Is she leaning in to you or leaning away from you?
If she’s slouching, you probably shouldn’t sit completely erect.
f she’s leaning in to you, then lean in to her, this is a sign of interest and comfort.
Take note of a woman’s posture and gestures, and then match hers.
Use discretion with mirroring her.
If she runs her hands through her hair, don’t immediately do that same thing. You don’t want her to know that you’re miming her.
Your goal is to synchronize your gestures so that a woman will feel like you are bonded.
We’re naturally attracted to people who are similar to us. Mirroring shows this.
2. Rhythm of Breath.
One of the most effective ways to build rapport with a woman is to harmonize your breath.
Match her breathing.
The purpose of doing this is to bond you.
This can also be the tempo and volume at which your communication partner speaks.
If she is speaking rather slowly and comfortably, it wouldn’t make sense for you to talk rapidly.
Take note of how she’s breathing.
Is she taking deep breaths from her diaphragm or is she taking short breaths from her chest?
Whichever one she is doing, take note and try to adopt her way of breathing into your own.
3. Match her tone and energy level.
Our last step for how to build rapport with a woman is to match her tone and energy level.
The tone is the general character or attitude of a situation.
If the girl that you’re talking to is soft spoken, it would make sense for you to match her tone and not overpower her with a loud rambunctious one.
This is subtle and it makes the other person feel comfortable and like they’re being understood.
This is the most effective way to build rapport. It’s never really what you say, but it’s how you say it.
If you say something horrendous, but do so in a joking or sarcastic tone, that changes the entire meaning of the message.
However, if you say something horrendous with conviction, then the message is horrendous.
For example if you said, “I hate you!” angrily or “I hate you..” 😉 with a playful tone.
Tone is everything, so practice matching peoples tone and pace in your day to day conversations.
That way, when you are trying to build rapport with a girl that you like, it will be much easier because you’ve had practice.
Also, if your communication partner is introverted, it would not help for you to act like an extrovert.
You want to make her feel comfortable by showing her that you and her are similar.
The best way to show similarity is to highlight your similarities in your communication practices.
Alright, you’re now well on your way to building a deep and lasting rapport with any woman you want.
This is how to build rapport with a woman and ultimately attraction by creating a sense of similarity between the two of you and trust.
To learn more about how to build rapport (and attraction) with a woman, learn a “secret language” that makes any woman feel an uncontrollable obsession for you by watching my free presentation here now.
Click here to find out how to make yourself irresistible to her.
