How to Talk to Guys – 8 Ways to Get Him to Open Up


how to talk to guys, how to talk to him, get him to open up

Are you dating a guy and having trouble getting him to open up and really talk to you?

Are you just getting back into dating after divorce and want to start over with a new guy but feel self conscious?

Have you just come back from a date and are trying to decode the entire conversation?

Keep reading to find out talk to guys and actually connect with them.

Talking to men can seem complex and difficult, but most of the time this is because we expect guys to bond and connect through talking like women do. Getting a guy to open up and really talk to you isn’t as hard as it seems.

Here’s how to talk to guys so they’ll actually listen AND want to spend more time with you.

1. Listen more, talk less.

This age old tip in communication is one of the wisest tips that you can take when it comes to learning how to talk to men. Men get bored, annoyed even, by chatterboxes.

Really listen to what he’s saying and ask questions. If you tend to really talk too much (you know who you are), pretend you’re interviewing him for the first few conversations. Get used to the idea that there might be silence on occasion and get comfortable with it.

2. Ask questions.

Just like you want him to ask you things to get to know you better, so does he. He doesn’t want to sit there listening to you rattling on and on for hours about your coworkers or the mini dramas your girlfriends have been going through.

Think of your conversations like a tennis match.

You ask a question, he answers, you tell about yourself or how what he said relates to you, and then ask another question about him.

Try asking him how his day was, or what kind of stuff frustrates him. When you ask him questions, it gives him the opportunity to do what he wants, which is show you how awesome he is. So let him.

3. Let him lead the conversation.

This might sound slightly sexist, but the truth is, when you let a man lead the conversation he feels less pressured.

Men do like to be the hunters and chasers, and when you let him start the conversation once in a while, it shows him that you are interested in hearing about his life. Don’t cut him off to interject a story about yourself, let him carry the tone and flow until you both get into a nice little comfort zone in your chat.

4. Do something together.

Some men cringe at the thought of sitting down and talking with someone for an extended period of time. They don’t do it with their guy friends and they can find it unnatural with you also.

Doing something active together, even if it’s just going for a walk, will make it much easier to talk to him because you’ll have something to talk about as a starting point.

Guys bond over activities, so he’ll actually feel closer to you without talking if you do things together first. Then, once he feels closer to you, he’ll be more inspired to talk more.

5. Be yourself.

Men aren’t stupid. They know when you are putting on an act to impress them. So don’t. Just be yourself.

Even if you slip up once in a while, it shows him that you are human too, which will make him less nervous as well. Being someone you are not usually won’t land him anyway, and even if it does, that’s a lot of work to keep him hooked.  It’s easier to talk to anybody when you aren’t trying to be someone you’re not.

6. Don’t forget, he’s human too.

You may want to impress him more than you would want to impress the President if you were invited to dinner at the White House, but that’s a lot of pressure on him too.

If he’s asked you out or you are hanging out with him for any reason at all, he’s just as human, and probably just as nervous as you are. Don’t put any pressure on any one conversation with a guy, either pressure on yourself or pressure on him. Just enjoy the moment and be present with him.

7. Be playful.

Or funny if you know you have a good sense of humor. Being playful during any conversation with a man sends him the message that you are easy to be with. Don’t be afraid to get a little goofy, or tell jokes. Doing so with ease and the ability to laugh at yourself will get him laughing too.

As a bonus, like you, men have “sense of humor” ranked very high on their list of girlfriend must haves. Simply put, when you are easy to be with, he wants to be with you more.

8. Allow silence.

If you’re constantly trying to force a conversation with a man, you won’t give him the chance to start talking on his own.

Sometimes it’s okay to have silence without one of the people rushing to fill it. While you may be tempted to try and fill the space with stories about your great Aunt Gertrude, don’t.  Just be quiet for a little bit and let him digest.

Often you’ll be surprised that he’ll break the silence with something interesting.

The Bottom Line – How to Talk to Guys

Talking to guys is easier than many women make it out to be. Releasing your expectations about always having the perfect conversation or expecting to connect with him like you do your girlfriends will make the process much easier and simpler.

Want to get and keep his attention for good?

Learn these secret “magic desire phrases” that will transform him from bored and uninterested to hanging on your every word.

Click here to find out exactly what to say to captivate him.

Elizabeth Stone

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is a bestselling author, head love coach and founder of Attract The One.

Through her coaching, writing and online programs she has helped thousands of women reunite with their men and create amazing, soul-level connections. She is thrilled to have helped so many couples reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has gone viral on Your Tango and Thought Catalog as well as been featured on EHarmony Blog, Mogul, The Good Men Project, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.

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