I’m Matthew Coast, head dating coach and founder of Commitment Connection. Today I’m going to tell you not to marry a man who has these six habits. You do not want to marry a guy like this.
So what are some big red flags that you should look for in a guy that you’re looking to potentially marry?
1. He’s really narrow-minded.
If a guy isn’t open to experiencing new things or going outside his box and looking at different perspectives (if you’re also narrow-minded, maybe he’s a great guy for you) usually narrow mindedness will create a ton friction in your future.
There’s a high probability that you’re going to be in lots of fights and it’s going to be really difficult to get anywhere with this guy or have the relationship that you really want.
2. He intentionally breaks your boundaries.
Your boundaries are what determine how valuable you are to a man.
If you have a guy who is constantly challenging your boundaries and breaking those boundaries intentionally, it’s going to be really painful for you, in the long run, trying to maintain a relationship with this guy.
This is a path that could go into emotional abuse or even possibly physical abuse. It’s really hard to maintain a relationship with someone who’s constantly breaking your boundaries.
I know several people who have been in relationships like these and they never end up lasting because there’s no respect there.
There’s no respect for you as a human being, for what you want and you end up getting shit on the entire relationship. It ends up being really difficult.
3. He’s a liar.
There are a lot of people who say that there’s some kind of psychological dysfunction with people that lie. Really, I think part of that is also just immature behavior, right?
Children lie and they often feel that it’s OK to lie.
When we become an adult, it’s about taking responsibility for yourself, especially as a man. It’s about taking responsibility, owning things, and being honest.
And, dating or being in a relationship with a liar—especially a long-term marriage with somebody that lies— how can you trust them?
How can you know what’s even going on in the relationship?
I know there are some great people out there who are liars and they do a lot of great things.
At the same time— in every relationship (even platonic relationships) I’ve had with liars make you feel like you’re talking to a crazy person or something because they lie so much about so many things that you don’t know what’s really going on.
You don’t really know what your relationship is to them because it could mean something completely different than what you think it means because of all the jumbled up lies that they have in their head about it.
4. He is a promise breaker.
You’ve probably experienced people like this in your life before.
People like this promise the world but then they don’t deliver anything. It ends up making you feel stupid and disappointed. You feel like you were scammed out of something. This is like the used car salesman of personalities.
A lot of women end up falling in love with a man’s potential.
My suggestion is that you try as much as you can not to do that.
If you get into a relationship with a guy who makes lots of big promises and then doesn’t fulfill them, you are going to be really disappointed in your future unless you know that you just love the guy for who he is even with his stupid promises.
And… usually, that’s not the case for most of the women that I talked to in our community.
5. He’s emotionally abusive.
Emotional abuse is a little bit more subtle. It’s not something that you can necessarily know off the get-go land it might be deep in a relationship before you start realizing that a guy is emotionally abusive.
One thing thing that an emotionally abusive guys does is insult you. Second, he might not really be there for you and he might not connect with you or try to support you in what’s going on with you.
Another sign of emotional abuse is a guy that punishes you a lot and it’s a manipulation thing to try to get you to do what he wants you to do.
6. He has a problem with drugs or alcohol.
Usually, people that have serious alcohol or drug problems don’t even realize that they have serious alcohol or drug problems.
And they’re like “Yeah, what? What? Yeah, what are you talking about? What’s the problem here?”
I had a stepparent who was like this who used to drink in the car. He was always drunk. He never knew that he had a problem. And it’s a really, really painful thing because they end up putting that drug above everything else.
I was hanging out with a really close friend of mine not too long ago who is a severe alcoholic and he’s been sober for a while now. Just talking to him about alcohol was this wild, crazy ride into this alternate universe.
The guy was telling me these romantic stories that he had in his mind about drinking. He was like, “Oh yeah, you know I can’t wait until I drink again. My dream is that I can just get drunk and take an Uber down to the bar. Then get really drunk at a bar and take an Uber home.”
And I’m like, “Holy shit! Is that your dream? Man, that’s crazy!”
So if you end up dating or getting married to a guy that has a serious drug or alcohol problem. You’re never going to be the priority in his life because his priority will always be to get high. And that is a very, very painful thing to experience.
One more thing before you go…
I want to share some words you can tell your man that will make him want to give you the relationship you’ve always dreamed of.
These words form something I call a “Love Frame” that makes a man feel like it’s his mission in life to treat you like a queen.
If you’re struggling to get your man to “step up” and give you the romance you’ve always wanted, you need to watch this video right now…