9 Signs He’s Not Into You (Abort! Abort! Abort!)


In a perfect world, guys would be upfront about their feelings.

However, this isn’t a perfect world. And sadly, we have to deal with guys who seemed interested sometimes but then other times not so much. I’ve been there before and I know many of you have too.

My name is Amy North. I’m a relationship coach from Vancouver, BC and bestselling author of The Devotion System.

Today, I want to talk about some subtle signs he’s not into you.

When a guy likes you, it’s usually pretty obvious. He’ll flirt with you, smile when you’re around, and tries his best to make plans with you.

That said, it’s also pretty obvious when he doesn’t like you. The problem is knowing how he feels when his actions fall somewhere in between the two. Guessing about whether or not a man likes you is risky business.

The good news is that in my many years of dating and writing about relationships, I’ve learned a thing or two about how to read men. And it turns out that there’s really no such thing as in-between feelings.

He’s either into you or he’s not.

If you’re wondering whether or not there’s a potential future with your love interest then consider these signs he’s not into you. If you can relate to more than say, one or two then it may be time to move on.

Let’s get started.

1. He takes a long time to respond to your calls and messages.

If you call and he doesn’t answer, leave a message but you don’t hear back for days or text and it goes unanswered, well then, he’s probably not into you.

If a guy is interested in you, he will get back to you sooner rather than later. If he doesn’t respond at all, it could be his way of letting you know that he’s not interested.

2. He’s only free late at night.

It is one thing if your guy works late or has strange schedule but it’s another thing if he is free all day but only contacts you late at night. If this is the case, then he may only want one thing from you, sex.

Knowing the difference between when a man likes you and when he considers you a booty call is important. If you’re looking for love, this isn’t it.

To find out more about how to read a man then pop over to my website and watch the free video presentation.

3. He never takes you on a real date.

Unless funds are low, there’s no real excuse for him not to take you on a date. If every time you hang out, you’re staying in for a movie night or sharing a homemade meal, then he isn’t trying very hard because he doesn’t care very much. It’s sad but true.

Putting in no effort when it comes to dates is a big red flag that he doesn’t think your relationship is worth the effort. If he did want something serious with you, he’d be trying to woo you and show you off to the world. If he’s not, then he’s probably not into you.

4. He doesn’t invite you out.

In the beginning of a relationship, there will be times when your guy wants to fly solo, and that’s perfectly fine.

After all, he may be the kind of guy that likes to take things slow. But if he is never inviting you out to do things then there’s a good chance that it’s because he doesn’t see a future with you.

5. He has no interest in meeting your friends or family.

Introducing someone to your family and friends is a big deal because it’s inviting that person a little bit more into your world. If the guy you are into has zero interest in meeting your loved ones, then it’s because he’s not serious about you.

The same can be said about him introducing you to his family. If he never talks about them or changes the subject any time they come up, then believe me he’s not planning on having a serious relationship with you.

6. He never interacts with you on social media.

Some guys just aren’t social media people and that’s cool. He can have an account and barely use it. Lots of people do. However, if the guy you’re into seems to interact with everyone but you online, then it may be time to take a hint. He’s not into you.

7. He checks out or flirts with other women in front of you.

This is a big one. It’s true that most men continue to look at other attractive women even after they found the love of their life. That said, if he’s not into you, then he will have no problem doing it in front of you.

If a man cares about you, then he’ll go out of his way to make you feel good about yourself. Gawking out of flirting with other women isn’t one of those ways, which means it’s probably time for you to move on.

8. He doesn’t ask you questions.

If he doesn’t ask you how you’re day was, where you grew up, what you enjoy doing— in other words— the basics about a person, then he’s not into you.

Not to sound harsh, but guys who show little interest in your personal life have little interest in you.

9. He has no excuses for not wanting to see you.

Let’s say you ask him to do something with you and he tells you he can’t because he has an early morning or other plans with friends. Fair enough. He has a reason or excuse if you will for not spending time with you.

On the other hand, if you ask him to do something and he simply says no or, “I’m just going to stay in,” then he’s telling you that he doesn’t want to. Simple as that.

Guys who are into you will want to spend time with you or at least have a valid reason for not being able to. No excuse means he’s not interested.

Did you know that there is a state of desire more powerful than love?

To learn a stupidly simple technique that makes men obsess over you, head over to my website and watch the free presentation there now.

Well, I think that just about does it for today. Thanks so much for reading.

Amy North

About Amy North

Amy North is the dating coach and author behind the bestselling programs, The Devotion System which explains how to find and keep the man of your dreams and Text Chemistry which helps women magnetize men using simple, easy text messages.

Coach Amy North specializes in breakups, marital issues, and dating for women, and offers relationship coaching to clients from around the world.

Her background in both psychology and journalism makes Amy a highly sought-after relationship expert. With thousands of subscribers and millions of views, her popular YouTube channel has become a smash hit with women all over the world.

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