How To Make a Man Respect You (Once And For All)


how to make a man respect you, gain his respect

When it comes to love and relationships, the playing field can seem mind boggling at times.

You want him to love you and respect you and sometimes that sounds like a challenge. Ever wondered what makes a man respect a woman?

The truth is, there is no fast way to earning a man’s respect.  You can’t make him respect you anymore than he can make you respect him. If you want to know how to make a man respect you, be the woman worth that respect.

With that in mind, here’s how to go from doormat to the woman of his dreams.

1. Challenge him.

A man loves a woman who he can have a friendly debate with. Express your opinions even if they are different than his, in fact, especially if they are different than his. Disagreeing with someone without putting them down is a fine art. Learn that art and use it in your conversations with men. He will highly respect your ability to hold your own.

2. Laugh at yourself.

A woman who can trip down a set of stairs on a first date and then make a joke about it will earn his instant respect. It sends the message to him that you are easy to be with, and don’t expect everybody to be perfect.

Note, there’s a fine line between laughing at yourself and putting yourself down.  Learn where that fine line is, and stay away from it by laughing at your faux pas every now and then but not insulting yourself.

3. Respect yourself.

Your nonverbal communication plays a big role here.  This has a lot to do with laughing at yourself, but goes a little deeper. If you don’t respect yourself, he will know it, no matter what you say to try and hide it. And if you don’t respect yourself, you have no business expecting him to either.

Nonverbal cues that show off your confidence, such as smiling, sitting up straight, and laughing out loud show him that you are pleased with yourself and don’t mind showing it.

4. Give respect.

You will get as good as you give in love, so if you don’t show him ways that you respect him, he is not going to give that back.

Respect his space, his privacy, his time, his honesty, and even thank him for it. Make sure you say, “thanks for calling me back”, “thanks for the invitation,” you get the picture.

A simple thank you goes a very long way in earning his respect because it shows him that you appreciate his effort. And, your happiness is all men really want from the woman they love.

5. Be honest.

This is a day and age where true honesty is difficult to come by. Always be honest with him, even when he won’t like what you have to say. There’s something to be said about a woman who isn’t afraid to keep things real. When he knows you are always honest with him, he will not only give that back, but you earn his respect as a quality person as well.

6. Share your ambitions.

Make sure it’s clear that you have life goals of your own that you aren’t willing to compromise.  Don’t hide what you want from life from him just because you aren’t sure what he’ll think or whether he’ll approve.  Hiding who you really are is not a behavior that garners respect from men (or anyone, really).

Men respect goals and ambition, as they are very familiar with these traits. Just make sure that whatever your goals, they are indeed yours. Don’t borrow his goals and share them back to him as yours also. You’ll lose, rather than gain his respect.

7. You teach him how to treat you.

A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t put up with anything less than that is a woman that not only earns his respect, but the respect of all of those around her. If he says something that is a little out there or feels disrespectful, call him on it. If he shows up late or doesn’t keep his promises, call him out on it. When he knows that you won’t put up with certain things, you make it clear that if he really wants you, he will correct his behavior.

Note, this is another area with a fine line.

Calmly mentioning that you’re not pleased about him showing up an hour late is much different than tearing him a new one over a genuine delay.  Practice the art of teaching him how to treat you without showing extreme anger or emasculating him. Often your actions work better than words here.

If he’s over 20 minutes late to meet you with no explanation or call, leave. When he asks why you weren’t there, simply say “I waited 20 minutes and didn’t see or hear from you so I left.” Then leave it at that. Sticking to your standards gives off the impression that you have boundaries and self-respect.

8. Take care of yourself.

It’s important that you don’t stop doing things that were important to you before you got together. Make sure that you keep the long-standing appointments you have with yourself.

Do you have drinks with the girls every Friday night, and a spa day once a month? Don’t automatically give these things up for him.

Having things going on that don’t involve him is important to gaining his respect and not losing yourself in a relationship.

9. Don’t hide your intelligence.

Some women think they have to measurably dumb themselves down to attract a man (and I’m ashamed to admit I used to think so too).  This is simply not true. People respect intelligence.  It’s not worth hiding for a man or anyone else. It’s better to simply be yourself.

Also, if you hide your shine now, how long do you think you’ll have to keep up the charade if you actually manage to win him over? A few months? Your whole life? Just say no to ever dumbing yourself down for anyone.

10. Wait for sex.

Men and women view sex differently. We connect emotions to it, he often doesn’t. If he sleeps with you on the first date, it has nothing to do with an intense emotional connection for him, at least not as much as it could for you.

If you make him wait for sex until there is mutual respect on the table, it sends the message to him that you consider yourself a woman of worth and aren’t just giving it away to anybody. That’s a key first step in earning his respect. The man that doesn’t call you after you say no, is not worth your energy at all.

Like all of these tips, your actions are will determine most how well this works.  If you loudly announce that you aren’t having sex with him because he won’t respect you afterwards, that will send him running.  It smacks of game playing and makes it sound like you don’t respect his intentions either.

He might really like you, and that will snap him right out of it.  Simply stay out of situations where he’s going to expect to take your clothes off, like the invitation to go back to his house late and “watch a movie”.  Also, don’t answer late night phone calls or texts.  It’s not a road that you want to go down if you’re trying to make him see you as a long-term partner.

The Bottom Line – How To Make a Man Respect You

Like every relationship in life, whether that is with your best friend, boyfriend or your Mom, you can’t make anyone respect you; it is up to you to earn respect.

By being a woman who is honest with him, keeps her promises, sticks to her standards, you become a woman of worth that he will want and need to be around. We all love to be around quality people. How to make him respect you is a lot about whom you are inside.  You need to live it even when you aren’t with him.

If you’re like most women, this story will sound painfully familiar to you.

At first things are going great with a guy… there are the tantalizing calls and texts, flirty Facebook messages, and maybe things even get a little intimate…

Then it happens…

It seems like suddenly something snaps in him, and he starts to withdraw… then out of nowhere he just completely loses interest in you.

Your texts and calls start to go unanswered and soon he just disappears out of your life.

To make things worse, it’s usually not an isolated incident. If it happens once, it’s most likely going to continue to happen.

That was the exact story my relationship consultant friend James heard at a lunch meeting with a client a while ago. It was during that same lunch that James discovered an answer to perhaps the biggest piece in the dating and relationship puzzle…

This video exposes a “gap” in the male mind, and how it’s destroying happy relationships everywhere.

The shocking thing about “The Gap” is how subtly it can destroy otherwise healthy relationships.

Watch this video to learn how you can bridge “The Gap” and use this powerful discovery to easily attract, connect with, and commit a perfect Mr. Right into your life today.

Elizabeth Stone

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is a bestselling author, relationship coach and founder of Attract The One.

Her popular program Ex Attraction Formula has helped hundreds of women reunite with their men. She is thrilled to have helped so many couples reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has been featured on EHarmony Blog, YourTango, Thought Catalog, Mogul, The Good Men Project, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.


  1. Michelle

    March 10, 2015 at 11:13 am

    I need your help please !

  2. Shonna Kazi

    July 3, 2015 at 4:01 am

    I really need help and advice if anyone can help me.

  3. Crystal

    July 25, 2015 at 1:36 am

    Hi Elizabeth! I really need your advice! Is there any way I could privately message you?
    Thanks a lot

  4. janet

    September 23, 2015 at 8:59 am

    Hi I need serious help how can I contact you

    • Elizabeth Stone

      Elizabeth Stone

      September 23, 2015 at 9:04 am

      Hi Janet. You can email Elizabeth @ (remove the spaces).

  5. Stacy

    April 23, 2016 at 7:51 am

    If I am stuck in situations where he expects me to take my clothes off, how do I go about saying no without giving away the reason as to why? Do I simply just say “no” because though I want him to respect me, I also don’t want him to think I’m stuck-up. And what would I say after no if his reaction isn’t bad? Wouldn’t that leave an awkward tension?

    • Lisa

      January 3, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      I always go with something along the lines of “that’s incredibly tempting, I find you super sexy/hot/handsome, I just don’t move that fast, looking forward to the next time I see you!” 😘

      • Elizabeth Stone

        Elizabeth Stone

        January 7, 2017 at 1:11 pm

        That is an excellent way to handle it! Thanks for your comment Lisa :).

  6. Christina Ratliff

    September 10, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    I really need help

  7. Aurora

    May 23, 2017 at 9:48 pm

    Men and women do. It think differently about sex naturally. It’s socially ingrained. When we we stop making women define their worth by they chasteness of their vaginas?

    • Aurora

      May 23, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      women do not*
      not . it

  8. Lillian Lopez

    September 29, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    I found this article while I was going through my break up and has empowered me to move forward. Thank you.

  9. Gette

    December 29, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    Can u pls help me? How to contact you..

  10. Marge Leconte

    June 1, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    i need help getting my friend back. I said friend it’s because i don’t even know if he’s still like me or not.
    Please tell me what to do

  11. Patty

    January 13, 2019 at 1:28 am

    Do you ignore a guy when you don’t hear from him after weeks or do you say something?

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