How To Make a Man Respect You (Once And For All)

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how to make a man respect you, gain his respect

When it comes to love and relationships, the playing field can seem mind boggling at times.

In fact, if you’re out there searching for how to make a man respect you, it’s probably because you’ve been disrespected and not cherished by men enough to make you really want answers.

You want him to love you and respect you and sometimes that sounds like a challenge. So.. what makes a man respect a woman?

The truth is, there is no fast and easy way to make a man respect you.

You can’t make a man respect you anymore than he can make you respect him. The real secret to how to make a man respect you is to consistently be a woman he feels is worthy of his respect.

With that in mind, here’s how to go from doormat to the woman of his dreams.

1. Challenge him.

A man loves a woman who he can have a friendly debate with. Express your opinions even if they are different than his, in fact– share your opinions especially if they are different than his.

Disagreeing with someone without putting them down is a fine art. Learn that art and use it in your conversations with men. He will highly respect your ability to hold your own without getting upset or attacking him.

2. Laugh at yourself.

A woman who can trip down a set of stairs on a first date and then make a joke about it will earn his instant respect. A sense of humor sends the message to him that you are easy to be with and don’t expect everybody to be perfect.

However, there is a fine line between laughing at yourself and putting yourself down.

Be careful not to be too hard on yourself or consistently put yourself down. In the long run, you’ll come off insecure instead of confident– which will not make a man respect you.

3. Respect yourself.

If you don’t respect yourself, he will know it, no matter what you say to try and hide it. And if you don’t respect yourself, you have no business expecting him to either.

So what exactly does it mean to respect yourself?

Show yourself the same love and care that you want from others and demonstrate it both verbally and non-verbally. Stop putting yourself down, quit trying to be “humble” by hiding your accomplishments and do whatever you can to cultivate genuine love for yourself.

Say “No” when something doesn’t feel good to you and be completely up front about it. Honor your own wishes, desires and goals.

Your nonverbal communication and body language play a big role in demonstrating your self respect and confidence to others.

Nonverbal cues show off your confidence— such as making lots of eye contact, smiling, sitting up straight, and laughing out loud. These show people that you are pleased with yourself and don’t mind showing it.

4. Respect him.

You will get as good as you give in love, so if you don’t show a man that you respect him, he is not going to respect you in return.

Respect a man’s desire for space, his privacy, his time, his honesty, and even thank him for it.

Make sure you say, “thanks for calling/texting me back”, “thanks for the invitation,” you get the picture.

Needy, disrespectful people don’t take the time to graciously thank others for the little things they do– they simply feel entitled and want more.

A simple thank you and show of gratitude goes a very long way in earning a man’s respect because it shows him that you appreciate all of his efforts in your direction.

And… one secret about men is that a woman’s happiness and respect is often all men really want from women they fall in love with.

5. Be honest.

This is a day and age where true honesty is difficult to come by.

Always be kind and honest with him, even when he won’t like exactly what you have to say.

There’s something powerful to be said about a woman who isn’t afraid to keep things real and genuine.

When he knows you are honest with him, he will not only give that back, but you will earn his respect as a quality person who sticks by their word.

6. Share your ambitions.

Make sure it’s clear that you have life goals of your own that you aren’t willing to compromise.  Don’t hide what you want from life from him just because you aren’t sure what he’ll think or whether he’ll approve.  Hiding who you really are is not a behavior that garners respect from men (or anyone, really).

Men respect goals and ambition, as they are very familiar with these traits. Just make sure that whatever your goals, they are indeed yours. Don’t borrow his goals and share them back to him as yours also. You’ll lose, rather than gain his respect.

7. You teach him how to treat you.

A woman who knows her worth and doesn’t put up with anything less than that is a woman that not only earns his respect, but the respect of all of those around her.

If a man says something that is a little hurtful or feels disrespectful, don’t allow it.

If he shows up late or doesn’t keep his promises, leave.

When a man knows that you won’t put up with certain things, you make it clear that if he really wants you, he will correct his behavior.

Note, this is another area with a fine line.

Calmly mentioning that you’re not pleased about him showing up an hour late is much different than tearing him a new one over a genuine delay.

Practice the art of teaching him how to treat you without showing extreme anger or emasculating him.

Your actions work MUCH better than words when it comes to making a man respect you.

If he’s over 20 minutes late to meet you with no explanation or call, leave.

When he asks why you weren’t there, simply say “I waited 20 minutes and didn’t see or hear from you so I left.”

Then leave it at that.

Let reality teach him about your self respect and standards, instead of using a long talk to get your point across.

He will get the message that if he wants to see you, he has to follow through with his word or give you more notice– without you getting into a long, agonizing discussion about what he did wrong.

Sticking to your standards gives off the impression that you have boundaries and self-respect.

8. Take care of yourself.

It’s important that you don’t stop doing things that were important to you before you got together. Make sure that you keep the long-standing appointments you have with yourself.

Do you have drinks with the girls every Friday night, and a spa day once a month? Don’t automatically give these things up for him.

Having things going on that don’t involve him is important to gaining his respect and not losing yourself in a relationship.

9. Don’t hide your intelligence.

Some women think they have to measurably dumb themselves down to attract a man (and I’m ashamed to admit I used to think so too). This is simply not true. People respect intelligence. It’s not worth hiding for a man or anyone else.

Also, if you hide your intelligence, wit and brilliance now, how long do you think you’ll have to keep up the charade if you actually manage to win him over?

A few months?

Your whole life?

Just say no to dumbing yourself down for anyone’s approval.

10. Wait for sex.

Men and women view sex differently. We naturally bond and connect emotions to sex, while men often don’t.

If a man sleeps with you on the first date, it has nothing to do with an intense emotional connection for him, at least not as much as it could for you.

And… a big way to keep a man’s respect is to keep your intimate life completely on your terms. If you don’t know someone well, don’t go to bed with them. Save intimacy for when you’re truly feeling it and never let a man pressure you into going farther than you are comfortable with.

If you make him wait for sex until there is mutual respect on the table, it sends the message to him that you consider yourself a woman of worth and aren’t just giving yourself away to anybody.

That’s a key first step in how to make a man respect you.

Any man who drops contact with you after you say no to having sex with him too soon is NOT worth your energy at all.

Like all of these other ways to make a man respect you, your actions are will determine most how well this works.

If you loudly announce that you aren’t having sex with him because he won’t respect you afterwards, that will send him running.  It smacks of game playing and makes it sound like you don’t respect his intentions either.

He might really like you, and that will snap him right out of it.  Simply stay out of situations where he’s going to expect to take your clothes off, like the invitation to go back to his house late and “watch a movie”.  Also, don’t answer late night phone calls or texts.  It’s not a road that you want to go down if you’re trying to make him see you as a long-term partner.

The Bottom Line – How To Make a Man Respect You

Like every relationship in life, whether that is with your best friend, boyfriend or your Mom, you can’t make anyone respect you; it is up to you to earn respect.

By being a woman who is honest, keeps her promises, sticks to her standards, you become a woman of worth that he will want and need to be around.

We all love to be around quality, respectful people.

How to make a man respect you has a lot about who you are inside. You must live in a respectable way even when you aren’t around him.

If you’re like most women, this story will sound painfully familiar to you.

At first things are going great with a guy… there are the tantalizing calls and texts, flirty Facebook messages, and maybe things even get a little intimate…

Then it happens…

It seems like suddenly something snaps in him, and he starts to withdraw from you… then out of nowhere he just completely loses interest.

Your texts and calls start to go unanswered and soon he just completely disappears out of your life.

To make things worse, it’s usually not an isolated incident.

If it happens once, it’s most likely going to continue to happen.

That was the exact story my relationship consultant friend James heard at a lunch meeting with a client a while ago. It was during that same lunch that James discovered an answer to perhaps the biggest piece in the dating and relationship puzzle…

This video exposes a “gap” in the male mind, and how it’s destroying happy relationships everywhere.

The shocking thing about “The Gap” is how subtly it can destroy otherwise healthy relationships.

Watch this video to learn how you can bridge “The Gap” and use this powerful discovery to easily attract, connect with, and commit a perfect Mr. Right into your life today.

Elizabeth Stone

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is a bestselling author, head love coach and founder of Attract The One.

Through her coaching, writing and online programs she has helped thousands of women reunite with their men and create amazing, soul-level connections. She is thrilled to have helped so many couples reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has gone viral on Your Tango and Thought Catalog as well as been featured on EHarmony Blog, Mogul, The Good Men Project, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.

18 Comments

  1. Michelle

    March 10, 2015 at 11:13 am

    I need your help please !

  2. Shonna Kazi

    July 3, 2015 at 4:01 am

    I really need help and advice if anyone can help me.

  3. Crystal

    July 25, 2015 at 1:36 am

    Hi Elizabeth! I really need your advice! Is there any way I could privately message you?
    Thanks a lot

  4. janet

    September 23, 2015 at 8:59 am

    Hi I need serious help how can I contact you

    • Elizabeth Stone

      Elizabeth Stone

      September 23, 2015 at 9:04 am

      Hi Janet. You can email Elizabeth @ AttractTheOne.com (remove the spaces).

  5. Stacy

    April 23, 2016 at 7:51 am

    If I am stuck in situations where he expects me to take my clothes off, how do I go about saying no without giving away the reason as to why? Do I simply just say “no” because though I want him to respect me, I also don’t want him to think I’m stuck-up. And what would I say after no if his reaction isn’t bad? Wouldn’t that leave an awkward tension?

    • Lisa

      January 3, 2017 at 5:37 pm

      I always go with something along the lines of “that’s incredibly tempting, I find you super sexy/hot/handsome, I just don’t move that fast, looking forward to the next time I see you!” 😘

      • Elizabeth Stone

        Elizabeth Stone

        January 7, 2017 at 1:11 pm

        That is an excellent way to handle it! Thanks for your comment Lisa :).

  6. Christina Ratliff

    September 10, 2016 at 4:37 pm

    I really need help

  7. Aurora

    May 23, 2017 at 9:48 pm

    Men and women do. It think differently about sex naturally. It’s socially ingrained. When we we stop making women define their worth by they chasteness of their vaginas?

    • Aurora

      May 23, 2017 at 9:49 pm

      women do not*
      not . it
      Typo

  8. Lillian Lopez

    September 29, 2017 at 1:05 pm

    I found this article while I was going through my break up and has empowered me to move forward. Thank you.

  9. Gette

    December 29, 2017 at 12:41 pm

    Can u pls help me? How to contact you..

  10. Marge Leconte

    June 1, 2018 at 5:00 pm

    Hi,
    i need help getting my friend back. I said friend it’s because i don’t even know if he’s still like me or not.
    Please tell me what to do

  11. Patty

    January 13, 2019 at 1:28 am

    Do you ignore a guy when you don’t hear from him after weeks or do you say something?

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