5 Truths About Dating You MUST Know To Succeed At Marrying “The One”


Today we’re going to be talking about the truth about what it takes to be successful in dating.

Now, this going to be a little bit more honest than some people are ready for.

So, if you want to cling to some romantic notion about destiny then maybe this isn’t the right article for you. So, go ahead and hit the back button or find some viral video of cats to watch, but this is not for you.

If you want to know the truth about what it really takes to find success in dating— whatever that means for you, keep reading. Whether that is finding the love of your life or casually dating around and enjoying being single, then this is going to cover that.

1. You have to know what you want.

The first thing you need to know about dating success is that you need to know what you want. So many people don’t really know what they want.

They may think they know what they want.

Maybe they think they want a guy who is six feet tall, has steely blue eyes and makes six figures a year. Maybe they think they want a bikini model who has big boobs or something, right?

But, I’m going to take it as a given that anybody who you would bother dating is somebody that you find physically attractive. Let’s get all that BS out of the way.

You don’t have to tell me about how big her boobs are.

You don’t have to tell me about how tall he is.

I’m going to assume that if you’re going to go out on a date with somebody, you’re attracted to them.

That being said, attraction and physical characteristics aside, what is it that you actually want?

Take the time to get clear on this because if you don’t know what you want, if you think all you need is chemistry and magical destiny is going to bring somebody perfect to you, then you’re going to have a really hard time.

You need to know what it is that you want. That is the very first thing it takes to be successful at dating.

2. Would your “dating ideal” partner want to date you?

The second thing you need to do is take your list of what you want and look at yourself and say, “OK. If I met a person who is 100 percent of the list I made of everything that I wanted in a partner, would that person actually like me as the person that I am now?”

If you hate your life, chances are somebody who’s really passionate about their circumstances isn’t going to want to spend a whole lot of time with you.

If I don’t take care of myself and I’m kind of overweight or out of shape, chances are somebody who’s in top, impeccable physical shape, is probably not going to want to spend too much time hanging out with me. It’s an uncomfortable truth but look at yourself and be honest.

And, if you need to make some changes, go ahead and make some changes. If you need to change your expectations or what is it that you’re looking for, then go ahead and do that, right?

You have to be able to look at yourself and say, “Hey, am I going to be complementary to this person and relationship that I say that I want?”

Be really honest and brutally truthful with yourself about whether you are compatible with the person you say you want.

3. You have to learn how to connect with people.

The third thing you need to know about success in dating and relationships is you got to learn how to connect with people.

There’s this whole idea about soulmates and true love and all of that. You know, this stuff that you read about here and there, horoscopes and websites that for some reason are pink or purple.

What you need to know is that pretty much everybody in the world is your soulmate. You just have to be able to connect with them. If you can connect with people then you’ll have soulmates everywhere you go.

The reason that soul mates seem so rare and far between for most people is that most people have never really learned how to actually connect with another person.

So when you actually do connect and it clicks perfectly, it seems so rare, difficult and unique that you’re thinking this must be some sort of celestial sign that this is the person meant for you.

But really, you can click with anybody, bond with anybody, and have deep meaningful connections with anybody, if you learn how to improve your social and interpersonal skills.

You’ll suddenly have a whole lot more options open when it comes to meeting, dating and connecting with people when you learn how to have a conversation, empathize, be present, stay open and vulnerable, enforce boundaries, and how not to posture and pretend you’re a badass.

4. You have to be okay with dating a lot of people.

You have to be okay with the idea of dating, meeting and weeding out lots of people.

Now, I know there’s probably somebody you that you have a crush on. If you’re a guy, maybe have a crush on some girl at your school or some co-worker. If you’re a girl, maybe you got a crush on some co-worker, some classmate, who knows? Some friend of yours or whatever.

Chances are you’re probably going to have to meet a lot of people. I know there are tons of things out there that say, “here’s how to force somebody to fall in love with you against their will and find you attractive.”

But that’s probably not going to be how it works for you.

What works for most people is to go out there and meet a lot of people.

You have to meet a lot of people because there’s going to be a lot of people out there who don’t match what you’re looking for in a partner or relationship, who don’t have the same values as you and who live vastly different lifestyles. Maybe they are visiting from out of town and they’re just not available to have a relationship with you or any number of other circumstances, right?

You can’t expect to go up to one or two people and find that person that’s going to click with you in every way, where the connection is effortless and perfect and all of that. You can’t just expect that.

Now, some people out there might experience that.

If it happens to be your first or second try and everything just falls into place— then great. I’m really happy for you and I want you to know that you’re really lucky.

And, that is probably NOT what it’s going to be like from most of us.

You’re going to have to accept the fact that you’re going to have go through a lot of people in order to find a person who has all of the qualities that you’re looking for in a partner.

5. You have to be okay with breaking up.

This leads us to the fifth thing you need to know to date successfully.

You’re going to have to be OK with ending things.

You’re going to have to be OK with breaking up with people sometimes.

You’re going to have to be OK with letting people down sometimes.

You’re going to have to be OK with telling somebody, “Hey, that was a great first date but honestly I don’t think that you and I have very much in common. I don’t think that it would make sense for us to see each other again.”

You have to be able to be able to be honest and able to let people down this way.

A lot of people stay in relationships or stay dating somebody even if they’re not satisfied with them. They keep going simply because they’re afraid of breaking up and letting somebody else down. That is a terrible reason to stay in a relationship with somebody.

So, this has been honest and open about what it really takes to be successful in dating. I know it’s not unicorns and butterflies or as romantic as you hoped it would be but it’s the truth. Whether you’re guy or a girl, you’re going to have to face this reality.

If you want a friend as you find the right person for you, please go ahead and fill out the quick quiz at my website and I’ll send you customized advice, tips, and strategies to help you fall in love and create the relationship of your dreams.

Clay Andrews

About Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews and Mika Terao bring their client’s relationships back from the brink.

Get their free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).

If you are an action-taker who wants to get your ex back, Clay and Mika will show you everything you need to know to have a deeper and more profound connection with your ex, so that you both can have a second shot at lasting love (even if your situation feels hopeless). Find out more here now.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.