Is it worth dating a man who’s moving too slowly for you? Wondering why men won’t commit to you? Is he commitmentphobic or is it something deeper?
Claire Casey answers a reader question…
I’ve been in a relationship for 6 months, but he seems to move really slowly. He told me that he noticed me 4 years back (we work at the same firm), and that when I started here he always looked out for me (not in a stalking way). He told me that he just had to take charge to say hi and officially meet me, and we have been together since then.
Just to give you an idea on him, he’s been with the same firm for 20 years. He is happy in his job, yes he did move up in the ranks and did make a name for himself. He told me he likes routine a lot and does not make hasty decisions.
I one time asked him why he holds back so much and he replied that he wants to make sure of what he wants…because he ‘s been hurt before. I also got hurt before, but I am not holding back…
Your program “Capture His Heart and Make Him Love You Forever” started me thinking on do I want to commit to this guy, if he’s like this in our relationship now how will this be if he ever asks me to get married?
What I would like to know… am I wasting my time with this guy or is he just really slow?
Hi, Marie —
You’re dating a quiet, slower man, and they have their own advantages and disadvantages, and depending on what YOU want out of a romantic relationship I think they can make pretty awesome long-term partners.
The big advantages:
A quiet, slow, introverted man is usually very stable, not just emotionally, but also (very frequently) financially.
For some people, this is a huge benefit to dating him. In other words, you get to be the dynamic, whirlwind person and he provides the grounding for that. You won’t be competing with him for attention, either.
Also, a man with a slow, deliberate approach can be quite a pleasure in the bedroom :). He’ll take the time to get you where you want to go sexually and make sure you’re happy and satisfied.
The potential problem:
The reason some women don’t like the slower-paced guys is because it just takes them forever to make a move or commit to you! You might get frustrated at having to wait on him all the time. And if you’re hoping to get him to commit within a short time-frame because the clock is ticking on creating a family, you might have to pass this guy on by.
But not necessarily! Men secretly yearn for commitment and marriage and in Capture His Heart And Make Him Love You Forever, I teach you how to turn his yearning for partnership into a truly primal need to commit to you.
Slow-paced guys are usually pretty happy for you to lead on making moves, for one thing.
That means you want to be SURE to communicate openly and clearly with him on the important stuff. This means you have to know what you want, of course, so if you’re not clear, GET clear about what you want your life to look like.
And when it comes to commitment, the key to working with a man like this is to let him know your timeframe for marriage. If you hope to get married within a year after starting to date someone, you need to be able to let him know this is what you want in a non-threatening, non-demanding way.
Best to you, Marie!
How To Make A Man Commit To You
Maybe you’re still waiting for your guy to make a commitment… Is there anything YOU can do to get him to fast forward to finally being ready to commit to you?
Listen to the story of how one woman “tamed” renowned relationship expert Michael Fiore, and almost magically got HIM to decide it was time to stop playing the field.
No ultimatums. No begging and pleading. No crying. In this video, Michael lays out the absolute truth about why men won’t commit and then what they really want and NEED from a woman for them to be able to give EVERYTHING to her for a lifetime…
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