Do you feel like you’ve met the perfect guy and are just waiting for him to drop those three little love words? Have you been dating someone for what feels like forever and you still don’t know where you stand? Are you trying to take things to the next level with him but don’t want to pressure him into running the other direction?
The truth is, you can’t make anyone love you, man or woman, but you can create a relationship that will inspire him to love you exactly the way you love him. Here’s how:
1. Be easy to be around.
Easygoing is in the top five list of traits that most men are looking for when it comes to The One. If you are texting him seventy times a day to find out where he is and what he’s doing, you aren’t going to look like the easygoing type. Being the cool girlfriend will make him fall in love with you faster than being the girlfriend that looks like Barbie will.
2. Feed his ego.
It may sound sexist, but this works for both genders. You want to be around people that compliment you more than you want to be around people that don’t, right?
You want him to call you beautiful, and he wants you to compliment him just as much. There is an art to complimenting a man appropriately and regularly without looking like a stalker. Practice this art, every time he picks you up tell him that’s your new favorite sweater of his, and then reciprocate a compliment for every one that he gives you. It doesn’t feel fake if it isn’t fake, and feeding his ego will make him want to be around you that much more.
3. Take the initiative once in a while.
As much as he loves the thrill of chasing you, he likes to know that you want to chase him a little bit back. This not only feeds his ego, but it also takes some of the pressure off of him. Men won’t chase women that they think they can’t get, so chase him a little bit and he will fall in love with you faster than if you didn’t.
4. Always smell great.
Looking attractive is obviously a good thing, but the sense of smell triggers much deeper responses in the brain looks alone. The olfactory system is directly connected to the feeling system in the human brain (the limbic system). Smell triggers memory. That’s why you get warm and fuzzy every time you smell mom’s pot roast.
Smelling great triggers these emotions in him that make him want to be with you as much as possible. Unlike looks, whenever he smells these things when he’s not around you, he will immediately think of you. This is a powerful emotional trigger that can serve to keep you on his mind more often.
5. Make Eye Contact.
People who are in love with each other spend 75% more time staring into each other’s eyes than average members of the population who spend 30-60% of the time making direct eye contact. Don’t be creepy, but increase the level of eye contact that you make with him to get love chemicals flowing.
6. Whisper in his ear.
There’s something about a woman whispering in his ear that makes him feel special. It’s almost naughty, but it’s also intimate. You are telling him something that you aren’t telling anybody else, and this makes him feel special. When he feels special around you, it triggers a bonding moment that you just won’t be able to trigger with the sexiest dress in your closet.
7. Be open.
Once again, men won’t drop those three little words until they are almost absolutely sure that she is going to say them back. If you are too busy playing hard to get, guarded, and are too afraid to open up a bit, he will back off because you are actually too hard to get.
Inviting him to get closer while maintaining a little mystery is one of the hardest steps to falling in love, but once you rip the Band-Aid off, it’s nothing but sweetness after that. I’m not suggesting that you immediately run up to him and say the L word, but if he starts saying “I love pasta, I love, I love, I love….” about things, encourage it. He’s clearly got love on his mind.
8. Need him.
This goes back to the primal issue of the hunt, when men feel like they are the only ones able to provide or help one particular woman, their alpha instinct crops up and they want to be around her to help her more. You can be confident and sexy and still ask him to open a jar for you once in a while.
Note that I’m not saying “be needy.” You’ll have to avoid getting clingy like the plague. Just let him slay a dragon for you every once in a while.
9. Laugh and play as much as possible.
Make sure to keep things playful and fun. The more fun it is to be around you, the more he’ll want to continue the positive feelings by keeping you around long term. To risk sounding like a 1950’s grandma, laugh at his jokes. If he’s not funny or you don’t like his sense of humor, think about what you’re doing there in the first place.
Trying to date someone with an incompatible sense of humor is really difficult; I’ve found this one out first hand. Enter, the man who could not understand sarcasm. Nothing is less funny than explaining all of your jokes, believe me. If he doesn’t get you, evaluate why this particular guy is at the top of your list. Now go laugh and play.
10. Familiarity Doesn’t Breed Contempt.
The more time you spend together in the initial stages of the relationship the better. Don’t crowd him or just show up places where he might be, this comes off as creepy. If he’s inviting you somewhere, go. If there’s something going on he might enjoy, invite him. Don’t needlessly turn him down for opportunities to hang out, unless it’s in the middle of the night or at the very last minute. You don’t want to set up a precedence that you’re going to drop everything to be with him, or that you’ll drive over at 2am. Keep your self-respect and make sure you both spend time together.
11. Now go away.
After you’ve spent a fair amount of pleasant time together, give him some space to miss you. It has been said that women fall in love in a man’s presence, when for men it is the opposite. Give him some breathing room to think about you.
Often just the fact that he can’t stop thinking about you will make him wonder what that’s all about and start thinking about the L word. After an extended period of hanging out all the time, let him come to you for a while. Don’t get cold or turn him down for no reason, just let him do the suggesting for a bit.
12. Accentuate your similarities.
It is natural to like people more who you have things in common with. Don’t fake it, but make sure that he knows when you both share a hobby or a common goal.
13. Love him back.
So you’re going to all this trouble, reading about how to make him fall in love with you, but do you love him? Make sure that you do, since love is such a two-way street. Make sure that he’s worth your love also. Don’t chase someone who just doesn’t seem to want you back. It’s humiliating. If the guy you’re thinking about falls into this category, you know who you are. Step back and evaluate what you’re looking for in a guy. If he’s worth it, make sure that you really do love him before you go down this road.
14. Confidence, confidence, confidence.
A healthy dose of self-confidence combined with self-love is a proven man-magnet. I can’t mention enough that it is crucial for you to garner some self-confidence when looking for love. A woman who loves herself will be attractive to men. The reason is that she isn’t looking for anyone else’s validation.
15. Now throw it all out the window.
If you bend yourself into a pretzel too much to make him fall in love with you, it’s going to backfire and come off super creepy. These tips are useful in creating a spark, but it’s up to you to maintain it and not come off like a stalker who is always agreeing with everything he says and popping up everywhere he goes.
The Bottom Line – How to Make Him Fall in Love With You
When it comes to how to make him fall in love with you, it requires some vulnerability on your part, as well as some well-placed flirting. Be the easygoing girlfriend who doesn’t sweat the small stuff, and yet keep these tips in the back of your mind when you’re around him. When he’s confident that you will return his affections by making him feel special and needed, he won’t be able to help but fall head over heels for you.