Have you ever suffered through a relationship where your guy cheated? Have you ever found out that he preferred to see someone else rather than come home to you? So much hurt is caused by affairs. If you could affair-proof your relationship, would you do it?
Do you have that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? Have you felt like your man has gotten distant and you aren’t sure why? Have you wondered if he’s sleeping with that cute new girl at the office?
If your man has stopped communicating, has withdrawn, or doesn’t quite look at you the same way any more, he might be committing, or about to commit, the biggest relationship sin of them all: an affair.
Say he isn’t cheating. Say your man is faithful but there are PROBLEMS. Big problems, in fact with your relationship. Wouldn’t it be good to know how to affair-proof your relationship?
Here are five of the most common reasons why men cheat and what you can do in your relationship to prevent him from straying from you.
1. Pack for the Ego Trip
Low self esteem ranks highly as a common reason why men cheat. After years of monotony, a guy can start to feel like he needs a pick-me-up in the form of someone new who hasn’t watched him throw his socks on the floor for the last 4857 days. When the pressures of children and supporting a family start to pile on, a guy can start to feel like his feelings are last on the list.
Just like women, men require emotional support and praise from their partners. If they aren’t getting it, it’s not a stretch that it can become tempting to look around for someone else who will provide it.
Often new relationships start out with a lot of idealization and praise. This can be a strong aphrodisiac for someone who hasn’t felt too fabulous for a while.
Make sure you’re lavish with your praise. Men in happy relationships report that they feel like they make their women happy on a frequent basis. If you’re fallen into a pattern of not sharing your approval and happiness about the things he does for you, you’re at risk. In addition, if you’re not making him feel like a stud, you’re leaving your relationship open to someone else who can.
2. Sex Has Become Routine and Boring
As you’re probably aware, men love exciting and passionate sex. In most relationships, a couple’s sex life starts off hot. They have sex in the shower. They have sex on the kitchen table. They have sex all the time.
But gradually over time, something happens. The sex falls off in frequency. Then it begins to seem like every other time they’ve had sex. After a while, suddenly both people are wearing wool pajamas in August and refusing to take them off.
Not what you want to happen if you are hoping to avoid being cheated on. People crave novelty. If you aren’t keeping things hot, you’re vulnerable to having him seek out someone else who will. This doesn’t mean that it’s your fault if he cheats– that’s on him— just that sex is a really important part of a strong relationship.
3. Testosterone Levels
Men have about 10 times the level of testosterone as women. Testosterone is the sex hormone that causes higher libido as well as aggressive and risky behavior. Puberty kicks off a chain reaction that causes guys to have a higher sex drive than women, and the desire to go out and get their needs met.
Higher testosterone levels alone will send him out looking for more sex if you’re not getting down regularly. This one falls in line with the routine and boring sex point above. If he’s having trouble scratching the itch with you, he’s going to have trouble staying with you.
4. The Mindset- “Lots of Guys Cheat – What’s the Big Deal?”
Affairs have started to seem commonplace in the media and among his buddies. Statistically about 50% of men in long-term committed relationships have cheated at least once. That’s a lot of guys out there to make affairs seem normal.
Pay attention to the type of guys your man hangs out with. It’s normal that people gravitate towards others like them. Your guy’s friends are a great indicator of what he may/may not think is right. Men with integrity choose to be around other men with integrity. If your guy’s friends are all super shady, watch out.
5. Feeling Trapped
Often when men are in long-term relationships, they can start to feel like they are trapped. They fall into a grinding routine. They go to work, come home, help with kids, listen to their wife nag and fall into bed exhausted. Day after day, after day… and so on.
It can start to become attractive to try and escape from the crushing monotony. For some guys, an affair injects excitement and variety into their lives. There is an undeniable thrill to sneaking around and doing something forbidden with someone else.
These are simply a few of the many reasons why men have affairs. Be sure to communicate with your guy if you think he might be having an affair or is unhappy with your relationship.