Hey there! This is Clay and today we’re going to be talking about four signs that your ex’s rebound relationship is doomed.
People tend to have a lot of inaccurate ideas about rebound relationships. For example, some think that a rebound relationship is something that happens within a certain window of time after a breakup. And that a rebound relationship isn’t a “real” relationship, whatever that means.
In reality, a rebound relationship isn’t a factor of time. It’s more a factor of how somebody is dealing with their emotions.
Keep that in mind as we go into these four signs your ex is in a rebound relationship because your ex could potentially be in a rebound relationship and it could start years, maybe even decades after your initial breakup– assuming they’re still having an emotional reaction to the breakup that they had with you.
In the same stride, theoretically speaking, if your ex is some sort of master of emotions and some sort of guru of inner peace, they might be able to breakup with you yesterday and turn around and have a perfectly non-rebound relationship today.
That’s very highly unlikely because most people’s exes aren’t gurus or full of inner peace.
With that being said, let’s go ahead and talk about the signs that your exe’s rebound relationship is probably going to hit rough times ahead and possibly might be even be doomed.
1. Your exe’s new relationship is showing the effects of displacement.
The first sign your exe’s rebound relationship is doomed is that there is displacement happening in your ex’s relationships.
What do I mean by displacement?
Displacement is a psychological thing that a lot of people will do when they are going through a rebound relationship.
They come out of a breakup and immediately get into a new relationship. Then they try to bring their new relationship up to the same level as where their old relationship was at.
For example, say you and your ex had moved in together and were talking about getting married when they broke up with you for any number of reasons and then they got together with somebody else.
And then they moved in together with the new person and started talking about getting married within a matter of weeks or months.
This might make you think , “Whoa! What’s going on? It took us years to get to that point and it took them two months to get there. What’s going on?”
Is it because my relationship with my ex was not as meaningful, was it not as real or not as true as the relationship that they’re having with this new person?
The answer is no.
It’s not that your relationship was any more or less. It’s just a fact that your ex is using psychological displacement.
They’re essentially displacing what they had in the relationship with you onto this new relationship with somebody else. They’re subconsciously trying to fast-forward their new relationship up to the point where it was at with you.
Basically, they want their life to appear and feel similar to the relationship that they were walking out of.
Essentially, they’re recreating your relationship but with someone new.
This can be problematic for a rebound relationship because your ex is re-creating the relationship they had with you but with somebody else entirely at the center of it. Sooner or later you ex is going to realize that they are not in the same relationship that they were with you.
They’re actually with somebody entirely new and different. Maybe that person doesn’t want to get married right away. Maybe they don’t want to move in together right away. Maybe they have their own views and completely different opinions and values in life.
This can start to create friction and clashing between them once your ex is finally forced to confront the reality that this is actually a different person.
Their new partner is not you in a different suit of skin, right?
And, psychological displacement is one sign that your ex’s rebound relationship could potentially face some really tough times ahead.
2. Your ex overshares about how perfect, special and wonderful their new relationship is.
The second sign that your ex’s rebound relationship might be in for some tough times ahead is when your ex is doing a lot to broadcast that the relationship is perfect, ideal, and nothing is wrong with it.
One problem that a lot of people have is they go on Facebook or some other social media website and they don’t follow my advice to block their ex’s notifications from showing up in their newsfeed.
And, they end up scrolling through and see updates from their ex who says something like, “Everything is wonderful with me and the new person!!! Everything is amazing. Here we are going on our dream fantasy vacation to the Bahamas.”
It will often sting. And a part of that could be psychological displacement happening.
But another part of it could be your ex trying to convince themselves that the new relationship is perfect, problem-free, and there is nothing at all bad with it, right?
What can be really going on is that their new relationship isn’t actually this ideal, perfect, wonderful, amazing thing. No relationship is.
Initially, there’s a beginning phase in a relationship where we tend to overlook a lot of issues and problems. But eventually, we come to terms with the fact that our relationship with anybody is going to have its problems and ups and downs. There are going to be arguments and bickering, right?
If your ex is trying too hard to create this appearance that it’s perfect and wonderful, they might just be trying to delude about what’s actually happening in their actual relationship.
And really, don’t over-analyze all this social media stuff anyway.
Nobody goes onto Facebook and says, “I’m feeling kind of sad and depressed today. I think I’m just going to stare out the window and cry.” Nobody says that.
So don’t over-analyze that sort of stuff.
Understand that Facebook is a place for people to basically act like peacocks trying to spread their feathers out and impress everybody.
Remember that if your ex is making it seem too perfect, too idyllic, too wonderful then they could be trying to gloss over some of the problems or difficulties that their new relationship might actually be experiencing.
3. Your ex is emotionally unavailable.
The third sign that your ex’s rebound relationship could be in for some tough times ahead is that your ex might be emotionally unavailable.
It is my belief that pretty much everybody— unless they’re some sort of guru of inner peace— is temporarily emotionally unavailable following a breakup. This includes you, your ex, me in the past when I’ve been through a breakup, pretty much everybody, right?
This is because say you’re in a close romantic relationship with somebody. Then, for any number of reasons, that relationship comes apart. There is a certain mourning period that the human spirit needs to go through to fully heal from that experience, in order to really open itself up to having a great healthy emotional connection with somebody.
If you try to leapfrog or shortcut over that, by jumping into bed with somebody else, you’re essentially emotionally unavailable. You’re also shortcutting the healing process.
Assuming your ex has the capacity to be emotionally available in the first place.
Some people are emotionally unavailable all the time. If they just happen to go through a breakup, they’re still going to emotionally unavailable.
But if your ex was emotionally available with you and then went through a breakup and then temporarily became emotionally unavailable, then there’s still hope, right?
If your ex is in a rebound relationship and they’re at least temporarily emotionally unavailable, they’re essentially trying to leapfrog over the healing process by buying into the fallacy that time heals all wounds and that they should just distract themself and keep busy so they never have to experience the pain of heartbreak.
Unfortunately, you can’t sort of outrun that unfortunate reality that you’re going to have to feel those negative emotions sooner or later.
They will start to feel those negative emotions and they will start to come out. If they continue to try to suppress them, they’ll come out in weird ways. Maybe they try to compare their new partner to you or make little rude comments or get jealous. Could be anything.
So, if there is emotional unavailability happening in the rebound relationship, then there’s a good chance that relationship is going to experience some difficulty ahead once those emotions start to catch up with your ex.
And they’re forced to experience them either directly— which would actually facilitate their healing— or indirectly, where they will come out sideways in unfortunate places and times, right?
So that’s the third sign that your ex’s rebound relationship could be in for some bad times ahead.
4. Your ex starts feeling afraid they are missing out on you.
The fourth reason why your ex’s rebound relationship could be in for some tough times ahead is something that you have a little bit of control over.
This is where we talk about activating FOMO. FOMO is fear of missing out.
Your ex probably broke up with you for any number of reasons, right?
Let’s say they broke up with you because you had no motivation.
What you can do is go ahead and correct that part of your character in order to give your ex a damn good reason to get back together with you.
So, if you had no motivation, you can actually look at the reasons in your life why you’re feeling unmotivated in whatever it is, your career, your passion, your hobbies, whatever, right?
Then you fix that part up and start living your life from a place of being motivated. This should be a genuine, authentic look at yourself and a genuine, authentic desire to change this aspect of your life.
It’s not like, “I’m going to make it seem like I’m motivated so I can get my ex back.”
No. You actually want to like really make this motivation happen in your life.
With the main reason why your ex broke up with you gone and out of the picture— suddenly you’re activating their fear of missing out because they already find you attractive.
I have talked about how your ex still finds you attractive in many articles and videos, and The Ex Solution Course so I’m not going to go into the whole deal about why your ex is still attracted to you. You’re definitely NOT in the friend zone no matter what your ex has said in the past.
Let’s just take it as a given that your ex is still attracted to you. If you are completely like, “Whoa! What’s this all about?” go check out some of the other stuff.
Basically, your ex is attracted to you but there was something that caused them to not want to be in that relationship anymore.
And, once you have corrected that thing and start to live your life from that new perspective, you’re giving your ex a damn good reason to want to get back together with you.
Because your ex will not want to get back together with you and walk back into the same relationship that they walked out of.
Something has to be different.
So, if you correct that reason why they walked out, then there’s going to be a much better reason for them to want to get back together with you.
Through this FOMO essentially, you’re activating what behavioral psychologists refer to as “the decoy effect.” This can be a little bit complicated but here’s a short explanation:
Let’s say that your ex’s rebound is over here. That’s person A. And you’re person B.
Your ex might be thinking:
“Should I be in a relationship with person A or go back to person B? I don’t know. Is A better than B? Is B better than A?”
It can be very hard for human beings to judge two very different things.
For example, “Is a vacation to Paris better than winning an award for $5,000?”
I don’t know, right? One could be better, one could be worse. It’s too hard because they’re so different, right?
On the other hand, you’re comparing a vacation to Paris versus a vacation to I Columbus, Ohio, people will probably have a much easier time deciding which one of those things they would rather have because they’re more similar.
So in a similar vein, if your ex has a choice between the rebound person A, person B, OR the new you that has corrected whatever caused them to breakup with you, then it’s harder for them to compare their rebounds partner to you.
It’s much easier for your ex to choose between old you versus new you. (Thus, choosing the better, new you).
When given this sort of option, people often choose between the two similar things versus a dissimilar thing and something else.
You’re basically activating your ex’s sense of FOMO by employing the decoy strategy. That’s going to cause your exe’s attention to be pulled away from the rebound relationship towards you and all of the new changes that you’re making in your life.
So this has been basically four signs that your ex’s rebound relationship could be in for some tough times ahead.
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