How To Use “The Delight Game” To Pave Your Way To Bliss


create a life you love

One of the most surprising tricks I’ve learned along the path of creating a life I love is that if I want to learn a new skill, create a new good habit, or simply sink into what is loving and nourishing, seeking delight in the ordinary is the answer. Purposely seeking those small pleasures lights my path.

It took me a while to really grasp that I learn some of my best lessons through delight. Even the smallest moments of pleasure began to show me a gentler way to shift my actions, thoughts, and deeper beliefs.

Don’t get me wrong. Like anyone, I have had my share of painful lessons. Heartbreak, betrayal, and the results of bad decisions always teach me lessons.

No one can deny we learn from those painful experiences. Yet, what I’ve learned – both as a coach and another person journeying through this world – is that tapping into even the tiniest delight can illuminate the direction in which I need to turn.

Especially when life feels overwhelming or downright painful, delight saves me.

It can be incredibly simple to pepper my life with things that delight me: to buy a bouquet of flowers from the grocery store when I’m picking up spinach and chicken. Or to ask for a real cup at Starbucks as I sip a latte and people watch instead of taking my treat to go. Choosing delight can be as easy as making the choice to wear my favorite dress on a day I never leave the house because it makes me feel pretty.

Lingering over a pot of tea while I read Southern Living can feel frivolous. It can also feel incredibly challenging and downright selfish when I witness so much pain in the world. Who am I to experience pleasure when others are suffering? How can I prioritize five minutes of delight when my to do list is so long?

One of the things I know is this: There is power in collective energy.

When I practice acts of kindness and delight for myself, loved ones, and even strangers, that positive and loving energy radiates out into the world.

I discovered that when my needs feel met because I have at least a moment or two of pleasure on a daily basis, love and kindness flows from me more easily. By choosing to regularly seek pleasure and delight, I am able to act from a place of love rather than fear.

And… darling, here’s something else I know for sure:

Extending my suffering because someone else is suffering doesn’t heal the world.

Many of us grew up with the puritanical beliefs that we must suffer. Because we were born with “original sin” we could only learn lessons through pain. And we also learned that no matter how much pain we were experiencing, someone else was suffering more. So we should be grateful and shouldn’t complain. And, no… complaining doesn’t fix anything.

But, let’s be clear here. Everyone’s pain is valid.

Yes, those so-called first world problems create real distress in real people. No one’s humanity is less just because they have food on the table or a roof over their head.

The choice to curate your life with delight and simple pleasures empowers you to create the type of life you desire to lead. And this can feel like work. Adding even more to your to do list when you’re already feeling overwhelmed and wishing for more hours in the day might sound like an unrealistic expectation.

How do you move towards pleasure? Especially when it feels selfish to find delight when the world is such a mess?

Please trust me when I tell you that adding more pleasure isn’t selfish.

I’m going to introduce you to a little game to play with yourself to manage the (uncomfortable task) of peppering your life with delight. No shaming, name calling, or guilt allowed.

How To Play The Delight Game

1. Collect some note cards (or paper), a pen, and a dozen envelopes.

2. Brainstorm a list of activities, items, people, and places that delight you.

Here are a few examples to get your started:

  • Going to lunch with your mom, sister, or a special friend.
  • Cooking an especially delightful meal.
  • Fresh flowers in your house. Buy them at the grocery store or heck, order them from the florist to be delivered to yourself!
  • A whole weekend in your PJ’s.
  • Visiting a fancy hotel, even if its just to sit in their lobby.
  • Lingering on the porch to read a book.

3. On each note card, write about each individual delight.

Allow your inner child to roam free and decorate the cards with curlicues and sketches of balloons and flowers.

4. Now, place each of the cards into an envelope and seal. Shuffle them around and write a month on each envelope.

5. Place the envelopes in the top drawer of your dresser, nightstand, or desk.

6. On the first Saturday of each month, go into your drawer and pull the envelope for the month. If you need to do so, set a recurring task on your calendar!

7. Now for the magic: commit to taking action before the 15th of the month.

Guaranteed delight each month will allow you to learn your own lessons from treating yourself with kindness.

The end of the month for most of us feels stressful thanks to deadlines, bills, and such. Just knowing you have pleasure ahead helps you keep going, even when life is tough. Looking forward to the future with positive feelings can magically shift your life little by little.

Delight can help you create a daily life that you love. Pleasure will illuminate the path to your own brand of happiness.

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 Originally published at Republished with permission from the author.
Debra Smouse

About Debra Smouse

Tarnished Southern Belle (and life coach) Debra Smouse can help you de-tangle the drama in your life, push away the need for perfection, and show you how to create a daily life that you love.

Your heart is longing to follow your desires. Get help figuring out “What’s Next” with Debra’s FREE ebook: Welcome 2019: Create Your Best Year Yet: The In-depth Guide to Discovering Your Word of the Year.

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