Women have been asking themselves why men cheat since the dawn of time. In the beginning, the men’s reasons for cheating were simple. Obviously, cheating insured that men’s genes would get spread around the gene pool. Religions often condoned cheating and even encouraged men to have mistresses and concubines. At this time, one in three children died before they were three years old.
Nowadays, advances in science and medicine have obviously brought the survival rate for children way up. Even so, both men and women are still out there enthusiastically cheating on each other.
What Does This Mean For You?
First, that finding out your mate cheated on you isn’t your fault. No matter what happens between two people, there is no justification for cheating. Problems in your relationship are never solved by going out and having affairs.
He didn’t cheat on you because you’re not skinny enough, pretty enough, good enough in bed or because you didn’t clean the house enough. If you’re out there killing yourself to impress him or “keep him faithful” put the vacuum down right now. RIGHT NOW.
Keep in mind that some of the sexiest women in the world have been cheated on. Being cheated on isn’t usually because a woman isn’t beautiful enough, young enough or whatever. No. Just no. Don’t fall into the trap that lets you believe that if you were somehow better, he wouldn’t have cheated. Trashing yourself won’t help you get through this.
Since it’s “Biological” Does This Mean Men Should Get A Pass?
NO! There is no place for betrayal in a relationship. If someone has a problem with the way things are going, maybe it’s time to have a serious discussion. Maybe it’s time to leave the relationship. It’s NEVER time to go out and find someone else right away. Since we’re perfectly capable of insuring the future of our species nowadays, cheating as a biological imperative is largely obsolete.
Cheating completely undermines the trust in a relationship and rocks it to it’s core. Whether or not you can get past cheating involves asking yourself some hard questions that I’ve written about here.
So, Why Do Men Cheat?
If you’ve read this far and are asking yourself, “ok Elizabeth, shut up about how great I am, I want to know WHY” this part is for you. IT DOESN’T MATTER WHY HE CHEATED. It matters what you’re going to do about it. It matters whether you feel like your relationship is worth saving, or if you think it goes in the trash heap. It matters what you’re willing to allow. It matters how you feel about it. Every circumstance I’ve ever heard of that involves infidelity has a lot of variables. No, this isn’t satisfying. No it isn’t a quick fix. Your relationship is just that, yours. It’s unique.
And now, it’s time to ask yourself the hard questions.