Today I want to talk about what to do to get back together with your ex.
What should you do to get your ex back?
It might seem as if getting your ex back is a really simple process of just sending out a couple of text messages or something and then suddenly they’re in love with you again.
There’s actually a whole lot more going on beneath the surface when it comes to breakups and getting back together with your ex.
This is why oftentimes, those text message programs or things like reverse psychology don’t really work very well and why often people even think that getting back together with your ex is impossible.
But I can tell you from helping people get back together with their exes since 2009 that is absolutely not impossible to get your ex back if you understand what is going on.
There are several very common problems people have when it comes to getting back together with their ex.
But, if you look below the surface all of the problems people have getting their exes back are related to the quality of the emotional connection that you are experiencing with your ex.
This is why the quality of the emotional connection is the most important thing that you can focus on if you want to get back together with your ex.
The quality of emotional connection is much more important than texting, whether or not they like you or unfriended you on Facebook. It’s more important than if they’re in a rebound relationship, live far away, or if the two of you have been broken up for ____ number of months or ____ number of years.
The quality of the emotional connection between the two of you is literally the only thing that you should be paying attention to you if you want to get back together with your ex.
With that being said, there are some common problems that people experience when they’re trying to get back together such as apologizing to their ex and getting their ex to forgive them for something they did wrong.
When it comes to apologizing to your ex and getting your ex to forgive you for the things that you’ve done wrong, it’s important to know that you have to really understand your ex’s emotional world.
You have to connect to your ex’s emotional world so you can imagine the experience your ex might be having when you you’re apologizing to them.
If you just give them some sort of blanket apology like:
“Hey, sorry I cheated on you.”
“Hey, sorry I lied to you.”
“Hey, sorry I said one thing and did another.”
Then that’s not going to come across very well, right?
It’s not a matter of just saying you’re sorry. It’s not like we’re two years old and you just say you’re sorry and then that’s it.
You have to actually feel some sense of sorrow and remorse.
In order to do that, you need to really demonstrate to your ex that you had an impact on them and reflect back to them what that impact may have been.
Now, what you reflect back may not necessarily be 100 percent true. But the fact that you are feeling into their experience and having an empathic response is going to go a long way towards helping them to let go of that pain.
Once your ex has been able to let go of that pain and they’ve been able to forgive you and to let go, it’s only then that you have the opportunity to start to build a quality emotional connection.
You can’t really build a quality emotional connection until your ex is able to let go of things that they believe that you have done wrong to them that maybe led up to the breakup.
At that point, you can start to build your emotional connection.
Depending on where your ex’s emotional connection with you is at, you may notice some different things.
Maybe your ex is stubborn.
Maybe your ex won’t commit to you.
Maybe you just aren’t connecting on an emotional level.
Maybe you’re having these flat conversations that don’t really go anywhere where you’re just talking about TV shows, the weather, sports, work or dull stuff like that, right?
These are all problems that lie in the realm of emotional connection.
For example, if your ex is stubborn it’s because their emotional state is not being met and you’re not really guiding them towards feeling more comfortable, relaxed and at ease around you.
Instead, maybe you’re attached to a certain outcome like the act of getting back together. You’re walking on eggshells and you’re anxious because you’re trying to get them to perceive you in a certain way.
That can cause your ex to be a little bit more stubborn, resistant and have more apprehension about interacting with you.
If your ex is not willing to commit to you, it could also be for the same reasons. But it could also be because they are being confronted with the realistic challenge of having to make some one-way decisions before they can get back together with you.
Maybe they’re not really confident enough in the connection they have with you right now to make one-way decisions like breaking up with their rebound partner or tell all of their friends and family that the two of you are getting back together again.
Getting back together with you might involve moving across the country to the place where you live.
Any number of these other things that might be one-way, big moves that would be hard to reverse for them.
If your ex is in a relationship with somebody else, it can oftentimes feel as if you need to like attack the person, point your lasers at them, drag them though the mud and tear them apart in one way or another.
In reality all that’s going to do is make you look bad, so don’t do that.
Instead, remember what I said at the beginning.
The only thing that you should be paying attention to is the quality of the emotional connection between you and your ex.
You do not need to pay attention to your ex’s rebound relationship. You do not need to tarnish that person’s name or reputation or anything like that.
All you need to do is focus on having high-quality interactions with your ex.
Higher quality than they are able to get from their rebound partner.
Trust me, if you are studying my Advanced Relational Skills and the five stages of getting back together, this will be a cake walk.
So few people actually have the ability to tune into their emotional connection with someone that you will stand head and shoulders above any person who your ex is currently seeing.
Of course, you’ll also be leveraging a certain psychological strategy called the decoy effect. I won’t talk about that too much because it takes a little bit of explanation, but you’ll be leveraging that to your advantage when it comes to really outshine your ex’s rebound relationship and putting yourself in a position to get back together with your ex.
Again, all of this boils down to having high-quality emotional connections with your ex.
If you can put yourself in your ex’s shoes and see the world from your ex’s perspective, you will never run out of things to talk about.
You will never run out of very deep emotional conversations to have, and you will always have the ability to connect with them on a deeper level.
Then they will probably be able to have an emotional connection with you than 99 percent of the other people out there in the world. And, if you can have that kind of emotional connection with them, you can bet your ex will absolutely seriously consider getting back together with you.
Here’s what you can do now.
Fill out the quick quiz here and I’ll send your free copy of 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.).
Once I know a little bit more about what you’re going through, I’ll send you customized tips, advice, and strategies that are tailor-made towards what you are going through.