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The #1 Mistake Women Make When Dating Men (Do NOT Do This!!)
Amy North here. I’m a relationship coach and author of the bestselling program, The Devotion System.
Today’s piece is dedicated to the single most common mistake that women around the world make unknowingly that causes men to grow cold and abandon a seemingly perfect romance.
This is something you need to be aware of if you want to make sure you’re not pushing your man away without realizing it. I’ll help you make sure you’re not making this mistake yourself.
As always, if you have any questions about anything I talk about in this video, just leave them in the comments below and I’ll get back to you personally as soon as I can.
What is this #1 mistake that women make with men?
They fall into something I call the overcompensation cycle.
I’ll fully explain in a second but let’s start with a hypothetical scenario.
Let’s say you met a great guy two months ago and you’ve been dating since. Things are going really well and you’ve started hanging out on a daily basis. There’s real sparks and a genuine connection.
He seems really into you and you feel excited and relieved that you finally met a man who might be husband material. Wonderful, right? OK.
Here’s where the trouble starts for a lot of women.
You and your new guy are spending lots of time together and of course, as a result, there are some bickering and minor arguments that arise. Often, it begins with a silly thing.
Maybe he shows up 10 minutes late every time you have plans. Maybe he leaves his clothes lying on the bedroom floor or he doesn’t respond to your flirty text messages one night.
Perhaps the most common issue is jealousy. Maybe you get upset when your man is out late with his buddies and doesn’t phone you to say goodnight or maybe you see his phone light up with a text message from another girl and question him about it.
You call him out on these issues. Some minor drama ensues. Nothing catastrophic, you might think at this point.
By now, these little arguments, bickering and moments of jealousy have begun to add up.
You’re nagging him about a few different things which irritate him and he starts enjoying the time you spent together less and less. He might grow quiet and say, “OK whatever” or maybe he gets defensive.
Most men will say they feel chained down at this stage, and this is where they start to grow cold and distant. He begins to show less interest in hanging out. And when you do, he often seems distracted or disinterested.
This is where the overcompensation cycle begins.
When you sense your man pulling away, you panic. This is the most natural reaction for most women, maybe not a full-blown, “Oh my God, there’s a beehive in my panties,” panic attack, but you’re definitely going to start worrying about losing this great guy.
Again, the natural instinct for almost all women at this point is to overcompensate for their man’s weaning interest by becoming clingy, needy, and controlling.
He pulls back further and grows even more distant.
So you overcompensate again with even more clinginess and jealousy. The cycle begins to spiral out of control until you’re left alone wondering how something so perfect could collapse so quickly.
If this sounds even a little bit familiar, if you recognize that your actions and behaviors in past relationships led to the overcompensation cycle and ruined your shot with the guy you really liked, then stop what you’re doing and watch the latest video I posted on my website.
In that video, I explain how to use what I call love triggers on your man that without him even realizing it, builds his attraction to you to the point where he’s basically obsessed with you. Again, watch that new video to learn about my sneaky love triggers and how to use them.
Before we wrap this up, there’s one last thing I want to talk about.
Sometimes my coaching clients will come to me in situation like this and they’ll be totally confused about why their man is acting this way.
It might feel from your end that things are going great. Maybe there weren’t many arguments or moments of jealousy to identify the cause of the sudden coldness. So naturally, most women become desperate to figure out why their man is losing interest and pulling away.
Again, many women do something like this at this point that kick starts the overcompensation cycle. They ask their men about it. They bug him nonstop looking for an explanation as to why he cancelled their dinner date. They pester them about his feelings and try to initiate serious talks to sort things out.
Worst of all, sometimes women try to convince the man to love her or want to be with her.
None of this ever works.
Men will feel even more smothered by the neediness and the drama at this point. He’ll pull farther away, causing the cycle to spin out of control until he can’t stand it anymore and decides to abandon ship.
I’m guessing you’ve either experienced this type of situation yourself in the past or one of your girlfriends has and ended up crying on your sofa until 2AM.
If you recognize the huge mistake that led to the overcompensation cycle and you know what to do and say to avoid falling victim yourself and potentially avoid another heart break.
The best way to avoid this issue all together is to build the kind of relationship your man would not pull away from even if you do end up nagging, getting jealous or bugging him about what’s wrong.
If you built this level of attraction to the point where he simply can’t imagine being with anyone else, where he’s phoning and texting you throughout the day asking when he can see you again, then you wouldn’t have to worry about this at all.
That’s what my love triggers are designed to do.
They will make a man fall head over heels for you whether he realizes it or not and even if he tries to stop it.
For a full how-to video and how to use these dead simple but extremely powerful love triggers, visit my website and watch my newest free video there right now.
In just the first few minutes, you’ll learn techniques that will work on literally any man.
Anyways ladies, that’s about does it for today. Please don’t be silly and make the extremely common mistakes with men that have ruined so many promising relationships. Watch the video on my site.
Be on the lookout for signs of the overcompensation cycle and enjoy falling in love without worrying about your Mr. Perfect losing interest and walking away.
If you have questions or comments, feel free to ask in the comments below.