7 Sexy Secrets About What Men Want In Bed (And 3 Sex Myths You Need To Know)

By

Today I’m going to tell you seven secrets about about what men want in bed.

There seem to be two different schools of thought when it comes to guys and sex.

Either, guys are tricky to satisfy sexually. You need a lot of tricks and techniques to make them happy in bed.

Or guys are super simple to keep happy in the bedroom, just “give it up” regularly.

Well, both are true and a little false at the same time. Let me explain.

First, let’s bust some myths about what men want in bed, shall we?

Sex Myth #1 Guys want sex all the time.

Sex myth number one, guys want sex all the time. Well, this one is kind of deadly because it paints men as being, well, mindless tools. Get it, tools? Anyway, it’s that men are blinded by their sexual desire.

It’s true that a man’s sexual need is of much more urgency than women’s but we’re still capable of not running naked through the streets.

Apparently, there’s a fake statistic that men think about sex every seven seconds or something absurd like that. I think some lonely researcher’s calculator went crazy on that one. They figured that guys say they think about sex 500 times a day and they divide it to 24 hours by 500 and got 7 seconds.

Keep in mind that men think about food and work more than that and probably video games too.

Yes, we want sex and think about sex but it doesn’t overwrite our ability to function normally in society.

Sex Myth #2 Guys want sex instead of relationships.

Again, wrong! This myth about what men want in bed is one I’m really happy to bust because it’s another way the media will make you think that men are mindless sex-crazed machines.

This myth about sex is so deeply ingrained that people are convinced. It makes it seem like guys who claim to want actual, real relationships rather than casual sex are either incredibly rare (like unicorns) or simply full of crap.

The truth is that guys want sex earlier in the relationship. That’s “earlier” not “instead of.” Men are just fine with relationships and yes, we’re fine with commitment. But, that’s a topic for another article.

Sex Myth #3 Men have sex earlier than women and have more sexual partners.

In truth, men and women typically lose their virginity at about age 17.

Research by the CDC indicates that men had a median of seven sexual partners for a woman’s four.

The first problem with that is that it’s a survey. You don’t get accurate information from a survey. You get it from seeing people’s actions.

Second of all, the math in that kind of claim makes no sense at all. I mean, guys are having sex with women, right? So, the women’s number shouldn’t be that far off from the men’s unless, all that sex, of course, is with a few women who never take these surveys which is always a possibility,  I suppose. So, that can’t be true, just based on simple logic and math.

Now, the reality is that men typically overstate their number of sexual partners and women tend to understate theirs. You see, men are revered for having more partners. And women are more revered for having fewer partners. And here’s an interesting statistic that you might not have known about. Virgins make up 12.3% of females and 14.3% of males ages 20 to 24. Think about that for a second. There are more male virgins between 20 and 24 than female.

So, now that I’ve opened up the kimono and a  few of those little sex myths about men, let’s get into some of the things that matter to you. Let’s start with seven sex secrets that will make both of you happier in bed.

Sex Secret #1 Guys love it when you take the lead.

Yes, men do like to know that they were the ones that actually got you into the bed. And that you are actually consenting right along there with him. That much proves our masculine power and virility.

However, what most women may not know is how much we like the opposite too.

When a woman attacks us and drags us in the bed, it’s another kind of validation for us— just as it is for women. And this is where we run into a little bit of trouble.

Most women want men to initiate. Mostly, so she can know that she is desirable in his eyes. And unfortunately, most women don’t feel comfortable initiating sex due to that slut-shaming stigma that’s still created by most cultures.

When men have to initiate every single time, it makes us feel less desirable and that can give us performance anxiety.

So, while it may take a little extra effort on your part, recognize that guys do love it when you take the leadership role in the bedroom.

Being desired is a turn-on for both sexes and it’s one that men want just as much as women. If you can get the chance and have the guts, push his back against the wall, straddle him and then grind out the climax.

Sex Secret #2 Men crave your touch.

Guys crave a woman’s touch even when we’re in the most intimate kind of body to body contact in the bedroom, your hands on us are an incredible turn-on.

Here are few ways you can get your hands-on action moving:

Grab his arms. Especially when he’s on top and supporting himself above you, it makes us feel stronger and more powerful when you clutch our arms.

Scratch his back gently. This can be a huge turn-on. Rub his shoulders. When he’s stressed out, focusing on this area will help untangle him. Reach behind his back and reach into his hair with your fingers. The feel of your hands stimulating our scalp can give us chills galore.

Sex Secret #3 Nurture and love us with your touch.

As much as you might think that men want to be beaten and whipped into submission, the truth is that men want and need women to give us the kind of tender nurturing that we almost never get in our daily lives.

If you compare the day-to-day interactions of men versus women, you’ll see that women get far more nurturing touch than men do.

In fact, if a guy is single, he gets almost no meaningful physical contact on any given day.

Think about that for a second.

So, when it comes to sex, guys want more loving touch that they don’t normally get regularly on their own. Touch will both enhance and deepen the intimate contact you have in the bedroom. Sex can be a care-taking event that leaves his emotional batteries charged for yet another day.

Sex Secret #4 Never judge or look disgusted with us.

Guys want to be intimate with you and to ask for stuff in bed without feeling like we’re being judged or criticized for it. We need you to be open and loving.

Even if he comes up with something that you’re not down with trying, instead of looking revolted and turning him down right away like, “Nope.” “No way.” “Uh-uh!” remember that you have to be gentle.

Or, he might decide that he doesn’t want to risk that kind of reaction from you ever again.

That means he’s going to shut down and start to keep his sexual desires more secretively or seek them out in porn.

Instead of refusing outright, redirect his request. Say something like, “Hey, why don’t we do this?” that would feel great. Keep things in a positive state in the bedroom too. Don’t tell him what you don’t like. Tell him what you do.

Sex Secret #5 Respect him as a man in bed.

Both men and women want emotional as well as physical satisfaction in bed. And, many men feel like their masculinity is just as naked to a woman as they are when it comes to sex. He wants to feel manly and confident with you when it comes to lovemaking which means he can’t feel like he’s in competition either.

Men tend to be sexually dominant in the bedroom and that’s not a bad thing. That doesn’t mean one of you is better than the other, you can still be equals and allow him the ability to be the man.

Sex secret #6 Make more meaningful eye contact and noises.

One thing guys like to see is that you’re there and present with us during sex. Just as much as you want him to be thinking about you in having sex with your body, not a daydream, we need that from you too.

Closing your eyes is expected when you’re working to orgasm. But before you get completely absorbed in your work, let him know he’s your focus and your desire.

Make eye contact that says, “Yes, I want YOU!” with an emphasis on the “you.” Eye contact is incredibly sexy to guys when we’re in bed with you.

There’s one thing you might notice that’s highlighted in men’s porn— they know the psychology of men and what we want when they make those movies. So, there’s a lot to learn from how the women behave in them.

Another unspoken desire is for you to let out some noise when things are getting hot and heavy. Even if it’s the goal “Yes, yes!” or a  few moans, you got to let us know when we’re doing things right.

Men complain they don’t get enough feedback in bed. It’s not something we can go back and analyze later to figure out how well we did. So, let us know that we’re doing a good job and that you’re not bored.

Sex Secret #7 Men want oral sex.

BJs and oral sex are bliss for men. As a rule in intimate relationships, you can never give enough blowjobs. Period.

The fact is that almost all healthy men enjoy oral sex whether we admit it in polite conversation or not.

Every single woman I know in a long-term relationship, where they’ve been together for a good period of time and the relationship is solid, always credits this one act to keeping her man happy and faithful. Somebody even called it love insurance.

As a matter of fact, one lady friend of mine calls oral sex the secret to marriage. It’s that potent.

There are several reasons why men want oral sex but two stand out the most.

Physically, it feels great. You can focus on the pleasure zones, teasing and tantalizing and drawing out the ecstasy.

And, if you’re sincere and eager, there’s nothing that feels better to his ego. And it’s not because he needs his manhood to be worshiped or any of that nonsense.

Men love oral because it’s a symbol and an act of acceptance which is not something men get a lot of from women in general. Not to mention there’s a little incentive for him to reciprocate so you can get your itch scratched when it’s time too.

Those are my seven secrets about what men want in bed.

Isn’t having a man close to you a wonderful feeling?

  • The warmth of his embrace
  • The smell of his skin
  • The safety and comfort when you’re near him

And one of the most frustrating things you can feel is the scary suspicion that you might have accidentally pushed him away or scared him off…

Often, the reason he doesn’t want you or desire you is simply because you never made him feel like you “GET” him outside the bedroom.

You have to show a man you “get” him!

Most women think it’s enough to make herself look sexy and appealing by fixing her hair, makeup, and clothes.

That if she makes herself LOOK good enough, he’ll desire her and fall in love with her…

But this is backwards. And it feels desperate to men.

What he REALLY needs to feel is that you UNDERSTAND him as a man!

And you’d be VERY surprised how easy it is to send a guy the wrong signal and make him think you don’t get him AT ALL!

A lot of women pretend to understand a man in order to to pry open his heart but it backfires when they don’t do it the right way.

Like when she pretends to be interested in his hobbies or sports or television shows, but it’s just her faking “good behavior”

And then an alarm goes off in his head when he figures it out (and he always does) – and then slams the door on his love for you.

You have to show him that you not only understand MEN – but the unique things about HIM as a man…

We men know when a woman “GETS” us and is on our team, and when it’s just a trick to get us to open up…

But if you show him something called the “Secret Signal” – he instantly melts for you.

If you show him this, you can have just about any man spellbound, irresistibly desiring you and only you.

Oh, and if you think that the “Secret Signal” men are looking for is SEX, you’re wrong (By the way, the worst mistake you can make is to sleep with him too quickly just because you think he might “move on” if you don’t…).

If you want know what this Secret Signal is that makes men desire you uncontrollably, I want you to watch my video here.

And you’ll also discover something incredibly exciting – a NEW way for you to unlock the secrets of the male mind…

You don’t want to miss this.

 

Carlos Cavallo

About Carlos Cavallo

Carlos Cavallo is a dating and attraction coach, as well as a motivational life counselor and health & fitness coach. He’s the author and coach behind the Forever Yours, and Irresistible Desire programs. He’s also been featured on ABC, CBS television, national radio, and numerous print magazine and online articles.

To learn how you can break through the wall around your man’s heart, connect with him on a deep level, and make him yours forever, don’t miss his free Love Detector video here right now.

One Comment

  1. Bera

    March 29, 2018 at 4:52 pm

    Carlos, why do you, men, and other marriage writers, always scold and slam women about what a man want??? This is an unhealthy, disrespectful way to treat women and girls. We don’t see this type of article, written against men to scold them, do we mom, about drove theme crazy worrying about a sinful, carnal low down man. Stop!! Enough is enough. This mean spirited talk I say too much.
    The only reason a woman should ever worry or fret about what a man wants, is if a man is going to start worrying and stressing about what woman want.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.