How to Talk to Guys – 8 Ways to Get Him to Open Up

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How To Talk To Guys

Are you dating a guy and having trouble getting him to open up?  Are you just getting back into dating after divorce and aren’t sure how to handle the “new rules”?  Have you just come back from a date and are trying to decode the entire conversation?

Talking to men can seem complex at times for women, but most of the time this is due to the fact that they are completely over thinking it.  If you want to learn how to talk to guys in the way that your confident girlfriend has nailed perfectly, just follow these easy tips:

1. Listen more, talk less.

This age old tip in communication is one of the wisest tips that you can take when it comes to learning how to talk to men. Men get bored, annoyed even, by chatterboxes.  Listen to what he’s saying and ask questions.  If you tend to really talk too much (you know who you are), pretend you’re interviewing him for the first few conversations.  Get used to the idea that there might be silence on occasion.

2. Ask questions.

Just like you want him to ask you things to get to know you better, so does he.  He doesn’t want to sit there listening to you rattling on and on for hours about your coworkers or the mini dramas your girlfriends have been going through.  Think of your conversations like a tennis match.  You ask a question, he answers, you tell about yourself or how what he said relates to you, and then ask another question. Ask him how his day was, or what kind of stuff frustrates him. When you ask him questions, it gives him the opportunity to do what he wants, which is show you how awesome he is.  So let him.

3. Let him lead the conversation.

This sounds slightly sexist, but the truth is, when you let him lead he feels less pressured.  Men do like to be the hunters and chasers, and when you let him start the conversation once in a while, it shows him that you are interested in hearing about his life. Don’t cut him off to interject a story about yourself, let him carry the tone and flow until you both get into a nice little comfort zone in your chat.

4. Do something together.

Some men cringe at the thought of sitting down and talking with someone for an extended period of time. They don’t do it with their guy friends and they can find it unnatural with you also.  Doing something active together, even if it’s just a walk, will make it much easier to talk to him because you’ll have something to talk about as a starting point.

5. Be yourself.

Men aren’t stupid. They know when you are putting on an act to impress them.  So don’t.  Just be yourself.  Even if you slip up once in a while, it shows him that you are human too, which will make him less nervous as well. Being someone you are not usually won’t land him anyway, and even if it does, that’s a lot of work to keep him hooked.  Just be yourself, it’s easier to talk to anybody when you aren’t keeping up a front.

6. Don’t forget, he’s human too.

You may want to impress him more than you would want to impress the President if you were invited to dinner at the White House, but that’s a lot of pressure on him too.  If he’s asked you out or you are hanging out with him for any reason at all, he’s just as human, and probably just as nervous as you are.  Don’t put any pressure on any one conversation with a guy, either pressure on yourself or pressure on him.  Just enjoy the moment.

7. Be playful.

Or funny if you know you have a good sense of humor.  Being playful during any conversation with a man sends him the message that you are easy to be with.  Don’t be afraid to get a little goofy, or tell jokes.  Doing so with ease and the ability to laugh at yourself will get him laughing too. As a bonus, like you, men have “sense of humor” ranked very high on their list of girlfriend must haves.  Simply put, when you are easy to be with, he wants to be with you more.

8. Allow silence.

If you’re constantly trying to force a conversation, you won’t give him the chance to start talking on his own.  Sometimes it’s okay to have silence without one of the people rushing to fill it. While you may be tempted to try and fill the space with stories about your great Aunt Gertrude, don’t.  Just be quiet for a little bit and let him digest.  Often you’ll be surprised that he’ll break the silence with something interesting.

The Bottom Line – How to Talk to Guys

Talking to guys is easier than many women make it out to be.  Releasing your expectations about always having the perfect conversation will make the process much easier.

To figure out how to have even more success talking to guys, check out this video right now. Learn secret “magic desire phrases” that transform him from uninterested to hanging on your every word. Make sure you go watch it now here before it gets taken down forever.

About Elizabeth Stone

Elizabeth Stone is the founder of Attract The One.

Her popular program Ex Attraction Formula, has helped hundreds of women reunite with their men. She is thrilled to have helped so many people reignite the spark in their relationships.

Tirelessly focused on helping people improve their love lives, her work has been featured on EHarmony Blog, YourTango, Thought Catalog, Mogul, Fox News Magazine, Ravishly, Femalista, Popsugar, Read Unwritten, Medium and many more.

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