10 IMPORTANT First Date Tips (Don’t Drive Him Away)

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Hey, guys! My name is Amy North. Today, I want to share how to have the perfect first date. Before I jump into it, I want to start by saying it’s important that your energy reflects what you hope for in a relationship.

For example, if you’re looking for a fun fling then you should be flirty and promiscuous. If you want something more serious then you should make a point to really get to know the guy you’re with.

That is not to say that you have to directly let your date know that you’re looking for a long-term lover but instead, it’s all about your energy.

Regardless of what kind of romance you’re looking for though, to make him want you, it’s important that you’re happy, open-minded, and confident. When you nail these attitudes, you’ll be radiating sex appeal and admiration.

Here are my most important first date tips:

1. Prepare yourself for the date.

So we’ve all been late or rushed through something whether it was work or social event or family gathering. That frantic feeling is stressful and overwhelming.

You don’t want to approach your date the same way because no matter how well you try to hide it, he’ll be able to see the chaos you’re feeling.

Instead, take time to relax beforehand. Do whatever it is that puts you at ease whether it’s yoga, a cup of tea, a long walk. Simply getting into a calm mindset will make all the difference.

In order to fit in the extra time this takes, it’s important that you make a schedule for yourself. Say, an hour to shower and do your hair and make-up, another half hour to get dressed, to pack your purse, whatever works for you.

Just be sure to give yourself an extra half hour leeway. You never know when disaster will strike. That buffer zone can save your butt.

2. Choose the right outfit.

You may think, “First date, I need to look amazing.” But if you wear a little black dress to a laid back pub or a movie, you’re going to look out of place.

Not only that, but you’ll also feel uncomfortable which will show and make him uncomfortable too.

Instead, dress for whatever it is you are doing and wear something that you know looks good on you but would not stop you from being cool and collected.

To save you from stressing out, choose your outfit the night before. Make sure it’s clean and ironed. If you’re into accessories, set those aside too.

My last pro tip— always have a backup pair of nylons.

3. Put your phone away.

This may sound obvious but so many of us are obsessed with routinely checking our phones every so often. Doing this on a date is a major deal breaker.

Have you ever tried to have a conversation with someone who is glued to their phone? It’s rude and frustrating, isn’t it? Instead of showing him you’re more into what’s online, be present and leave your phone until after you said your goodbyes.

Sure it can be tempting to not check into the hottest new nightclub on Facebook or snap a photo of your gorgeous meal to post on Instagram. But seriously, hold off even if he’s doing it.

4. Choose the right environment.

How often do you hear of people going on a date over dinner and a movie? All the time. Instead of following the same old song and dance, or in this case, dinner and a movie, make an effort of planned dates that you can both enjoy.

That said, this doesn’t mean that you should put down his dinner plans or suggest you change them for your brilliant ideas. This suggestion goes if he’s open to your input beforehand. Doing something fun like dancing or playing pool will create positive emotions. And don’t forget, laughter is the best kind of tension killer.

5. Be decisive.

This doesn’t mean you have to make all the decisions on the date. But you should definitely have some input. If he asks if you prefer Italian or Chinese, tell him. If he says movie or bar, you pick.

Guys hate when girls say, “I don’t know,” or, “It doesn’t matter,” to their questions. Going out with someone who has no opinion or preference is super draining. Don’t be afraid to speak up.

6. Keep the conversations light.

So you went to have a good time together, make sure the conversation is enjoyable. There is absolutely no reason for you to talk about your exes or any other heavy subjects on a first date. Not only will it put a bad taste in his mouth but it will also make you look unbalanced and not really ready for a new relationship.

Instead, focus on developing the connection so that he feels compelled to call you.

Ask him insightful questions and take a genuine interest to his life, job and anything else he shares with you. You can even try to get a bigger picture of who he is by asking questions like how did you get your job, hobby, interests, et cetera? Make sure that these are semi-general so that he doesn’t feel bombarded or pressured to reveal his entire life story.

Above all, remember, men want to be with women who are fun and take their stresses away, not cause them. Make sure he feels good being around you.

If you would like to learn some more ways to come across as interesting, then visit my website and watch the free video presentation. There, I’ll teach you all you need to know about nailing first date conversations.

7. Eat like a normal person.

If you order the small salad and eat half of that, he’s not going to think you’re skinny or prettier, more feminine, or mysterious. He’s going to think you have weird food issues and it will probably make him a bit uncomfortable.

Instead, eat like you normally would. Guys like it when women eat unselfconsciously and with pleasure. They find it refreshing that she can be comfortable and down to earth.

Now, the opposite goes for drinking. Just because you can finish two liters of wine no problem doesn’t mean you should. Going overboard with booze on a first date is never a good idea. Not only does it make you more likely to say things you would not otherwise but the last thing you want to do is have to be carried home.

8. Handle the bill gracefully.

There are two polite ways to do this. The first is when the bill comes, wait for him to make a move. When he does, reach for your purse and continue the payment process until he says, “No, I’ve got it.” Then you can ask if he’s sure to which he’ll probably say yes. So thank him and drop it. You don’t want to come off as stubborn and overbearing on your first date. Let the man pay if he wants to.

If he doesn’t say anything about the bill, you will have to split it. Be careful not to jump the gun on this one. If you speak too soon, he may think that you’d actually prefer to split it.

The second way is to reach for the check when it comes instead of waiting for him to make the move. If he insists, offer to split the bill or at least leave the tip. He will probably decline so make sure that you offer to get the cab to the next destination, the movie tickets or on the drinks, et cetera.

Keep in mind that if you offered to pay or split, be prepared to actually pay or split. Don’t play games. Say what you mean, mean what you say.

9. Always say thank you.

Surveys have shown that the number one reason why a guy doesn’t call a woman again after a date is because they weren’t grateful. It’s important to always thank him at the end of a date.

Some men think women are just in it for the free meal or drinks. Prove them wrong by texting him an hour after the date has ended to thank him again. When you do this, don’t shorten the text to a one word thanks. It sounds insincere.

Instead, take the time to send a full heartfelt message. Just don’t go overboard. No matter how terrible a date might go, there is never an excuse for rudeness. Even if you didn’t hit it off, he will appreciate that you had the class to thank him anyways.

10. Be yourself.

If a guy wants to take you on a date, it’s because he is interested in getting to know the real you. By pretending to be someone you’re not, you are cheating him out of meeting the fabulous woman you are and you’re cheating yourself by not being true to you.

Instead, show him your true colors. After all, you want to be with someone who likes you for you, not for an act.

That’s all for today. I hope these ten first date tips I’ve shared with you here today help you have the perfect first date.

Did you know that there is a state of desire more powerful than love?

To learn the stupidly simple technique that makes men obsess over you, head over to my website and watch the free presentation there now.

Amy North

About Amy North

Amy North is the author and relationship coach behind the bestselling Devotion System, which explains how to find and keep the man of your dreams.

She specializes in breakups, marital issues, and dating for women, and offers relationship coaching to clients from around the world.

Her background in both psychology and journalism makes Amy a highly sought-after relationship pro. With thousands of subscribers and millions of views, her YouTube channel has become a smash hit with women all over the world.

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