The 5 Steps To Destroy Your Exe’s Rebound Relationship (Tricky)


Today, we’re going to talk about how to destroy your ex’s rebound relationship. We’re getting absolutely sinister over here.

Now, I don’t really advocate reverse psychology or ninja mind games. So, this might be a little bit more interesting to you than that kind of stuff.

Most people don’t want to think of themselves as the kind of person who’s going to hack into somebody’s email and break up with them, pretending that they’re somebody else. I don’t think of any of you want to do that. I don’t think anyone will hold their head up high and say, “That was me. I hacked into my ex’s email. I’m proud of that.” I don’t think that’s really anybody out there.

You can be devious but you can have integrity too. So, let’s talk about how to destroy your exe’s rebound relationship the right way.

1. Be a better version of yourself.

The very first thing that you need to do in order to destroy your ex’s rebound relationship is you need to be better than the old you.

I’m not saying that you need to be better than your ex’s rebound partner but you do need to be better than the old version of you.

So your ex broke up with you for some reason. They left. They’re not here, right?

I don’t know what happened but they broke up with you. And, for whatever reason, the you in the past who they broke up with wasn’t cutting it.

If you want to destroy your exe’s rebound relationship, then you need to be better than the version of YOU that they broke up with.

Now, that’s a little bit counterintuitive.

Right now, you’re probably thinking, “I need to be better than my ex’s rebound.”

No, you need to be better than the version of you who they broke up with, whether that was yesterday, two weeks ago, two months ago or two years ago.

You have to be a better person than the person that they broke up with. So, I don’t know why they broke up with you but whatever it is, you got to tighten that up. You have got to tighten that up and get yourself into tip-top shape.

The reason why you want to be better than the old you rather than your ex’s rebound partner is what a behavioral social psychologist Dan Ariely calls the decoy effect in his book, Predictably Irrational.

What’s the decoy effect?

So, people have a very difficult time comparing very different things, right? If I ask you, “Is an M&M better than a motorcycle?” It’s too hard to answer. They’re too different, right?

If I ask you, “is a peanut butter M&M better than a milk chocolate M&M or a motorcycle?”

Suddenly, your mind focuses on the two M&Ms because you can think about that versus the motorcycle. The motorcycle was too different to compare to the M&M’s, right?

That’s what’s going on with the decoy effect when it comes to you being better than the old version of yourself.

Your ex is going to unconsciously focus on the new you versus the old version of you they broke up with. The new rebound person is going to sort of fade away into the background and your ex will naturally focus on the two versions of you.

And if you can just get them to choose the version of you that is the person right now and not the version of you this– the person they broke up with, then you’re pretty much good. You have the decoy effect working for you.

Go ahead and read more about the decoy effect if you really want to know more about it but, this is what we’ve advised our clients on before. It’s worked amazingly well in the past and you can trust that it will work for you.

2. Don’t become petty and jealous.

The second thing you need to do to destroy your ex’s rebound relationship is avoid becoming a petty and jealous person.

You’re going to probably have every instinct in the world to set your lasers on vaporize to destroy your exe’s rebound relationship.

You are going to want to say, “Man. That guy’s such a jerk.” “That woman’s such a bitch.” “They have no idea what they’re talking about.” “Look at them, they don’t make any money.” “They’re ugly.” “They don’t take care of themselves.” “Their career’s a mess.”

You are going to come up with all these ways your exe’s rebound isn’t as good as you are. But you have to avoid communicating any of that to your ex because you’re going to come across as petty and jealous.

You want to keep this stuff to yourself. Don’t try to destroy that person, their reputation or the way your ex sees them. It’s just going to put you in a bad light.

It’s going to look like you’re like spreading rumors and talking bad about this person. What does that say about you, right?

So, don’t play that game. Now, your ex’s rebound might play that game with you and that’s fine because it’s only going to backfire on them if they try to trash talk about you. Don’t worry about that. But, you don’t want to play that game because that’s going to hurt you in the long run.

3. Be friends with your ex.

The third thing you want to do destroy your ex’s rebound relationship is be friends with your ex. You actually WANT to be in the friend zone.

This is kind of controversial, but the friend zone really doesn’t exist between you and your ex.

Now, the friend zone DOES exist in dating circumstances, like situations where you meet somebody and you’ve never been in a relationship before. And, for any number of reasons, that person just isn’t attracted to you, ever. That’s totally the friend zone.

But, if you and your ex have ever been in a romantic relationship where you’ve loved each other, done romantic things together and have been intimate, you don’t have to worry about being in the friend zone.

Your ex is never going to see you as a friend.

In reality, your ex is always going to unconsciously remember those times when the two of you were close, in love with each other, intimate, and when you were doing all sorts of things that friends don’t do with one another, right?

That’s always going to be in the back of their mind so you really don’t have to worry about being “just friends” with your ex.

I promise you this. I have never once seen somebody’s ex put them in the friend zone and it is actually been a real, legitimate friend zone.

What you’re actually doing when you agree to be friends with your ex is giving them a damned good excuse to spend time with you.

What’s really going to happen when your ex is in a rebound relationship and you call them up and say, “Hey, what’s going on? You want to get here for coffee and catch up?” she’s going to be like, “I don’t know. Should I really get together with you for coffee? Like, my new partner might get kind of jealous. I don’t know if that’s a really good idea.”

When you agree to be friends, what you’re doing is giving your ex the opportunity to tell themselves, “Oh! It’s OK. I can get together with you for coffee because we’re just friends.”

Got it? You’re giving your ex an easy excuse to spend time with you so you can build up that relationship between the two of you.

That’s never going to happen if you are unwilling to agree to be friends with your ex because you’re unwilling to put yourself in the mythical, nonexistent friend zone. 

I promise you the friend zone does not exist in this circumstance.

4. Focus on the connection between you and your ex.

The fourth thing that you need to do to destroy your ex’s rebound relationship is focus on the connection between you and your ex and not the outcome.

So a lot of people want to get back together with their ex even if their ex isn’t in a rebound relationship.

They focus on the outcome.

They focus on that moment when they’re holding hands with their ex and they’re walking through the park and there’s a fountain. It’s really romantic and the sun is shining and there’s birds singing and everything.

They sit down on a bench and say, “Would you want to get back together with me and have another relationship?” And their ex, starry-eyed says, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Then you kiss and it’s all wonderful and you both take out your phone right then and log into Facebook and update your relationship status because damn it! That’s where real relationships happen, on Facebook, right?

A lot of people focus on that fantasy but really, what you want to do is focus on the quality of the connection between the two of you.

Because if you focus on the outcome and try to make the outcome happen, you’re going to be essentially leap-frogging over the thing that you need to focus on in order to get there, which is the connection.

When you focus on the emotional connection between you and your ex, then the outcome will naturally arise. You’re doing the right thing.

That’s why it’s a really good idea to put yourself in the friend zone so you have the space and time to focus on the emotional connection between you and your ex.

In terms of focusing on your emotional connection, you want to talk about and do things like I’ve talked about in several of my previous articles and videos, using Advanced Relational Skills and having positive interactions with your ex.

To get my help with creating this connection and getting your ex back, go here and fill out the quick quiz. You’ll get your free copy of 5 Signs Your Ex Unconsciously Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.). Then, I’ll send you tips and strategies to help get your relationship back to where you want to it be.

You can do it! I believe in you.

Anyway, you definitely want to be focusing on the connection rather than the outcome of getting back together or destroying your ex’s rebound relationship.

I promise, if you and your ex have a stronger emotional connection with one another than your ex has with their rebound partner, then the rebound relationship is toast. It’s done.

All your ex needs is a good reason to break up. Or, maybe a little bit of reassurance on your part that you’re going to be there for them if they break up with this other person, right?

But that’s not going to happen unless you have a stronger connection with them than they have with their rebound partner. So you really, really want to focus on the connection.

5. Maintain your composure.

The fifth and final thing that you can do to destroy your ex’s rebound relationship is to at strategic times, apply composure.

So, you don’t want to do this all the time. You want to do this at very specific times in the process.

The time will come when your ex feels the pressure.

They can tell that you’re getting a good connection with them.

They can tell where things are going.

They can tell they’re falling back in love with you again and it’s putting them in between a rock and a hard place.

At the same time, they know that they just don’t have that with their rebound partner.

They know they have it with you but they think to themselves, “Aah! What do I do? I don’t want to break up with this rebound person. I just went through a break up with you and now I’d feel silly going through another breakup. What if I break up with this new person and you bail on me?”

Your ex might come up with some excuses. They might say, “Oh yeah, we’re just not suitable for one another” or, “You should really stop dating me, stop seeing me and go date other people” or something like that.

Is it because they really want you to give up?

No. It’s because they’re under a lot of pressure to decide whether they want to be with you or with that rebound person over here.

You have reached the crisis point in the five stages of getting back together.

There are five stages that your ex goes through when the two of you are getting back together. And the fourth one is the crisis point, Again, we talk about this over at my website. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you should really sign up now.

But, the fourth stage of getting back together is called crisis point.

This is where your ex is going to give you every excuse they can think of about why the two of you can never be together.

If your ex is at the crisis point and not in one of the other stages of getting back together, that is when it is ideal for you to apply your composure in a big way to let your ex know that, “Hey, I’m here for you. No. I’m not going to date anyone else because I like you. No. I’m not going to put up with XYZ because you’re the one I want to be with because I’m committed to falling through with you” or whatever, right?

And, this will ONLY work, at the crisis point. Say it with me. When will this work? Crisis point. Right. You got it.

This will not work at Wall of Reactance.

This will not work at Test Drive.

This will not work at Riding the Dragon.

This would work at New Beginnings since that’s the fifth and final stage of getting back together. But it’ll be kind of redundant at that point.

Anyway, you only want to do this at Crisis Point. You want to be able to apply composure in the right place at the right time in the right way when your ex has reached the Crisis Point Stage.

I hope this has helped you out. If you follow these five steps, you will be able to easily destroy your ex’s rebound relationship.

And, you will destroy your exe’s rebound relationship a way that you can actually feel good about because you’re not using secret, sneaky tricks.

You’re not sabotaging your ex.

You’re not doing something that your mom would make you feel guilty about.

You’re just being a good person and having a stronger connection with them than anyone else ever could to the point where they wouldn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone else.

So, that’s how you go about sabotaging your exe’s new relationship in a genuine, authentic, forthright and way that is full of integrity.

To find out how to get back together with your ex, advanced relational skills and the five stages your ex goes through when getting back together with you, head on over to my website, fill out the quick quiz, get your free copy of 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You (Hint: C.A.P.E.T.) and we’ll help you get started right now.

Anyway, this is Clay and I’ll see you next time. Take care.

Clay Andrews

About Clay Andrews

Clay Andrews and Mika Terao bring their client’s relationships back from the brink.

Get their free report, 5 Unconscious Signs Your Ex Still Wants You.

If you are an action-taker who wants to get your ex back, Clay and Mika will show you everything you need to know to have a deeper and more profound connection with your ex, so that you both can have a second shot at lasting love (even if your situation feels hopeless). Find out more here now.

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