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4 Text Messages To Save Your Marriage (And 3 to Avoid At All Costs)
You guys asked for it and I delivered. Today I’m going to talk about four text messages to save your marriage that you can send to your spouse, right now, that will re-spark some of the passion and romance that’s been missing from your marriage.
Yes, rekindling some of the desire and attraction can be that easy if you actually know what you’re doing.
Before I get started, I have to tell you what not to text your husband or your wife. These are text messages that don’t build attraction, romance or passion. In some cases these common text messages can actually make your spouse feel less attracted to you.
So let’s jump into some examples of what not to text to your spouse before we get into what you should be texting your spouse.
Bad text message number 1: The Demanding Text.
It’s obviously okay to ask your spouse to do something for you. After all, you and your spouse are a team and you’re married.
However, if you start demanding too much of your spouse, you could turn yourself into what I like to call a “texting terrorist.”
If you want to improve your relationship with your spouse, then you’re going to have to give him or her enough space and not constantly send a barrage of texts.
It’s extremely attractive to be highly independent in a relationship, so instead of constantly asking your spouse to be your servant, try and take responsibility for things, even the little things.
Bad text message number 2: The Overcritical Text.
Texts like “You’re always late” or “You don’t show me enough affection” or “You’re always watching TV” – these are the kind of texts that are just asking for disaster.
You always want to improve your spouse and support them, but sometimes we can show support in the wrong way.
When you criticize or belittle your spouse, you aren’t encouraging them to be better. Studies have shown that telling somebody how little value they have will force the person to actually believe that they’re worthless.
Here’s a quick tip if you’re guilty of sending overcritical text messages:
If you want your spouse to improve on some aspect of their life, try using the word ‘I’ instead of ‘you’.
For example, instead of saying, “You’re so messy and you’re the reason why our place is always messy,” say something along the lines of “I’d like it if this room wasn’t so messy, hon.”
Small changes in the way you communicate with your spouse can make a massive difference in your relationship. Keep this in mind the next time you feel like criticizing your partner for something.
Bad text message number 3: The Argumentative Text.
Another way you can turn yourself into what I call a “texting terrorist” is by constantly picking fights with your spouse through text message.
Sometimes arguing through text can be easier than arguing in real life, but I highly recommend against it.
Because while texting allows you time to come up with appropriate rebuttals, what you say can oftentimes be misinterpreted which could, of course, lead to an even bigger argument.
You also don’t have the luxury of showing calming body language, which helps to keep arguments from getting out of hand.
The next time you have an urge to bring up a sticky issue through text, don’t. Just wait until you have an appropriate environment to actually have that kind of serious discussion.
Of course, this is only a handful of what I call “attraction destroying” text messages.
If you want to learn more about these marriage murdering mistakes, then head over to my website and watch the free video presentation there on the homepage.
By the way, if you can think of any other kinds of text messages that you should not be texting to your husband or wife, please use the comment section below and let me know. You never know, maybe I’ll mention one of your examples in the future.
Now, let’s move on to text messages that you should be sending to your spouse.
These are text messages that are designed to spice things up and make things more interesting again between you and your spouse.
I do have to warn you that these text messages aren’t for all situations. If you and your spouse are on the rocks or you’re currently not on speaking terms, then obviously you probably shouldn’t be sending these texts right now. But if used correctly, you can use these text messages to save your marriage.
Here are four text messages that you can use to spice things up.
1. The Imagine Text
Texting is a great way to force the person to texting to use their imagination. You can make your spouse feel a myriad of emotions just by sending them a few short sentences via text. The imagine text is a perfect example of this.
Let me just jump right into an example. You could say something like, “I can’t wait to see you. Can you imagine how amazing it’ll feel once I wrap my arms around you tonight?”
I know that sounds really cheesy when I say it now, but trust me when I say that it won’t sound cheesy to your spouse.
Of course, you can tailor this message to any sort of situation so feel free to use your imagination with the imagine text.
2. The Gratitude Text.
It’s so easy to take your husband or wife for granted. If you’ve been married for a long time you can really lose sight of why you married your husband or wife to begin with.
The gratitude text is designed to make sure that your spouse knows that you appreciate him or her in a way that nobody else in the world can.
Here’s another example:
You might say something like, “I may not say this as much as I should, but I need to tell you how much I appreciate you being there for me whenever I need you. It’s one of the reasons why I married you.”
Once again, you can tailor this message to your specific situation. Try and really think of something that you honestly do appreciate about your spouse and then just say it.
3. The Deep Memory Text
This is a text message that is designed to force your spouse to think about an extremely memorable time in the past and relive it.
Forcing your spouse to focus on these nostalgic memories will cause them to feel not only more attracted to you, but will encourage them to continue making great memories with you.
Here’s an example:
“Do you remember when we were in Paris and we went on that river cruise along the Seine? I always remember how amazing you looked in that blue dress.”
Obviously you’ll need to tailor this text message to your current situation. The deep memory text is one of my favorite kinds of text messages because it’s so much fun to talk about fond memories with your spouse and make them relive those memories.
4. The Private Text
This one is really fun.
The goal of these kinds of text messages is to have a private conversation with your spouse while you’re together at a party or a social gathering.
Do you remember how fun it was to send your friends notes in high school? Think of it like that, but with your spouse.
For example, say you’re at a party and you and your spouse are both having separate conversations with other people.
You might say something like: “That guy (or girl) is totally hitting on you and I don’t blame him (or her).”
Here’s another one, you could say, “I wish we were alone right now ☺”
Tiny text messages like this can do wonders. They can make your marriage feel a lot more alive. I definitely recommend sending these text messages when it looks like your spouse isn’t having as much fun at the party, this can really cheer your spouse up.
Anyway, these text messages are just scratching the surface of ways to save your marriage.
If your marriage is on the rocks and you need help reviving it, then please head over to my website and watch the free video presentation here.
In that video I will tell you about three psychological strategies that you can use right now to make sure that your spouse will see you as their one and only forever.