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- The Extroverted Woman’s Guide to Dating (and Mating With) An Introvert
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- “I met this great guy online, how do I get him to ask me out?”
Do NOT Send Your Ex A Dead Bird In The Mail
Hey there, this is Clay from Relationship Inner Game.
Today, this is a special message for those of you who are going through a breakup, are trying to make things right between you and want to get back together.
This is about sending your ex a dead bird in the mail.
That might sound a little bit weird and maybe some of you out there who don’t want to get back together with your ex might actually send your ex a dead bird in the mail.
If you do, remember, it was your own choice, not mine. Not my fault, don’t sue me. Okay?
Anyway— sending your ex a dead bird in the mail. What’s this all about?
When I was growing up as a kid, we had three cats in our household. And, if you grew up with cats, you know that they can do some strange things. Some of which include bringing little treasures home for you, right? Including dead birds, dead mice and stuff like that.
There was this one time that our cat brought home this bird and it was heavily injured. It was right there on the doormat and we opened the door to let the cat in.
The cat comes in with the bird, drops it on the floor and bird is not quite dead. So the bird is fluttering around the house and my mom is freaking out because the bird is flopping around in the corner or something.
We had to get rid of the bird and get it out the door. It was a dramatic night, to say the least. Nice interruption from Algebra homework. Anyway, that’s essentially what one of our cats did.
Here’s the thing though. Even though that was horrifying, terrifying, and disgusting for us— for the cat, it was an act of love, right?
The cat brought home that not-quite-dead bird and it was an act of love.
The cat was like, “Hey, I like you guys. I went out hunting and found this nice, juicy bird. I wanted to bring it home so we could partake in this wonderful feast.”
That was a nice sentiment. I appreciate the intention behind it but it was not received by us on the same level as the cat intended.
The same thing can happen when people are trying to get their ex back.
When they are trying to connect with their ex or reach out and restore the emotional bond between them and their ex, they may take actions that are very well intentioned—
very loving and thoughtful— but they are received like our cat with the dead bird, right?
For their ex, whatever they are doing does not come across as a loving thing to do.
It is not going to be the thing that will make their ex say, “Hey, this is wonderful, let’s get back together. Let’s start talking again. Let’s bond and connect,” and all of that wonderful stuff that they really want, right?
This behavior can take any number forms like writing your ex a love song, a heartfelt poem, apologizing 1000 times, swearing up and down that you’ll change for good or whatever it might be.
You might do these things that to you are genuine acts of love, care and compassion. To your ex, it is not going to come across that way, just due to the emotional state that they are in.
Your ex is in a reactant state.
Things like the love song, the romantic poem, the gifts, the flowers, the chocolates and the romantic getaways don’t usually end very well. Some people will even will fly across the country and surprise their ex with unexpected marriage proposals.
That’s kind of like bringing your ex a dead bird, right?
Those actions are not going to have the desired outcome because you have to really understand where your ex is at emotionally and be able to respond and meet your ex where they are.
That is one of the reasons we teach so much through our email newsletter over at our website and course for people who want to get back together with their ex.
We teach you how to see things from your exe’s point of view so that you know where your ex is at emotionally and how you can meet them there so you don’t have a weird disconnect where your ex is wondering, “Why are you bringing me those dead birds?”
Right? It’s not fun to spend all this time plotting and planning these romantic gestures and stuff just to have it backfire, fall flat or give you the exact polar opposite result than you are hoping for.
I have heard lots of stories that people have shared. I know from personal experience too– like when I was trying to get back together with my ex, way back when.
Things like that don’t work.
You really need to be able to meet your ex where they are at emotionally and be able to respond from that place if you are to rebuild that connection, restore that emotional bond and eventually even get to the place where you can have a conversation about getting back together.
If you would like to learn more about how you can really understand where your ex is at emotionally and get through them and connect with them and bond with them and even get back together with them, here’s what you do next.
Go to my website, take the quiz and signup for our email newsletter so that we can start sending you advice, tips and strategies to help you connect, bond and get through to your ex so that you can get back together with them.
I will talk to you again soon. Oh, and please, don’t send your ex dead birds, okay?