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“My Ex Blocked Me On Facebook, What Should I Do Now??”
I was reading through some of the emails that I got the other day and I came across a really interesting question from a guy named Mark in Auckland, New Zealand. Mark asked:
“It’s been about two weeks since my ex-girlfriend broke up with me and needless to say I’m pretty torn up about it. We were still friends on Facebook up until yesterday when I noticed that she had disappeared. Now I thought she might have deleted her profile or something, but after a bit more poking around I found out that she actually blocked me. I miss her so much and I really want her back. So Brad, please help me. What should I do?”
Hi there, Mark. That’s a really good question you have for me and to be honest it’s a really difficult question for me to answer. A lot of what you choose to do next is going to depend on the nature of your relationship with your ex and the reasons why you two broke up in the first place.
So if your ex did block you on Facebook it means that not only does your ex not want to talk to you but that they may also be worried that you might invade their private life. I’ll be the first to admit that this isn’t a good sign, but you should never get too worked up about this and there are a few good reasons for that.
1. Don’t lose hope or overreact.
For one, if your ex blocked you for no good reason it’s possible that he or she would be open to unblock you in the future, right? A lot of my clients think that they’ll never talk to their exes ever again and they tend to overreact in situations such as this. But I can tell you safely that overreacting is not going to help you get your ex back.
2. Maybe your ex blocked you because they are struggling with the breakup.
Number two, it’s also possible that the reason your ex has blocked you is because maybe they’re struggling with the break-up themselves and seeing you post on social media every day is just going to make it more difficult for him or her to get over you and to move on. So that’s another reason not to overreact to the situation because it’s probably a good sign.
3. Blocking you doesn’t necessarily mean your ex never wants to hear from you again.
Finally, if they block you on Facebook or social media it doesn’t mean that they’re necessarily never open to receiving or not open to receiving phone calls and messages from you in the future. It may simply mean that they just don’t want to see you on social media right now or be reminded of you.
Unfortunately, at this point I do have to talk a little bit about some bad news.
If your ex blocked you for a good reason then trying to get back together with him or her maybe more trouble than it’s worth. For example, if you went through a bad break-up with your ex or infidelity was a huge issue in your relationship, then it is quite possible that your ex might be so angry that they don’t want to talk to you right now.
This is obviously quite common and I see examples of situations like this every day. If your ex blocks you after an extremely emotional and abusive or violent angry break-up, it’s a good idea to definitely keep your distance for an extended period of time and do your best to start moving on.
In fact, regardless of why you think your ex blocked you, just never, ever make it into a big deal.
Don’t call or text your ex asking them why they blocked you.
Don’t pester them and also don’t ask friends why your ex blocked you.
You shouldn’t even acknowledge to anyone that your ex has blocked you.
The best thing you can do right now is just to accept the fact that communication with your ex on Facebook is not an option and engage in a period of extended no-contact. This is basically exactly the advice that I gave to Mark in my reply to his email.
Now I will be working with Mark on a one-on-one basis because he has signed up for my online personal coaching program. If you’re interested in signing up for my personal coaching program, like Mark did, just go to my website and there you’ll find some information about how my online coaching program works and whether it’s right for you.
If you’re dead set on reopening the lines of communication with your ex, you’re going to have to wait a substantial amount of time before you try to reconnect. How much time you need to wait depends on the specifics of your situation, but attempting to communicate with your ex within a month of him or her blocking you should just be completely out of the question.
After that time period has passed, you are going to want to set up a line of communication naturally.
Obviously that means no stalking or following him or her. As silly as that sounds, you’d be surprised at how often I have to tell people not to stalk their exes!
The best way to re-establish communication is by setting up a hangout with a few of your mutual friends. For example, you could plan a night out with a bunch of friends that you and your ex share and you can ask those mutual friends just to casually invite your ex, just so you can see how he or she is doing.
In this kind of situation your ex is just going to be much more likely to come out and see you if you’re with a bunch of friends that are also their friends, your ex’s friends. Once you do see your ex in this kind of situation, don’t make a big deal of it at all.
Your only goal at this point is just to have fun and to reengage in a casual conversation with your ex. Don’t make things awkward and definitely do not cause any unnecessary drama.
Remember, at this point your ex is probably dreading talking to you for multiple reasons. You have to do whatever you can not to intensify those feelings. Take things slow. Remember to be upbeat, positive and friendly.
If you are feeling as if he or she is still being super awkward with you then take a hint and back off a little bit. You don’t want to make your ex feel regret for coming out.
On the other hand, if your ex does seem open to chatting then you can casually engage in small talk. Questions like, “How’s your summer been?” or “How’s work treating you?” are good ways to start a conversation. Remember that your goal is just to be friendly with your ex, have a good time and that’s all.
At the end of the night, tell your ex that it was nice to see them, that kind of thing, and remind them that they should text you sometime just as friends. Don’t be pushy or brash or rude. Then let your ex come back to you.
The more aggressive you are with your ex, the more it’s just going to reaffirm their original decision to block you on social media in the first place.
Before I wrap this up, you need to know that if your ex blocks you in any way it isn’t the end of the world.
Do your best to fight the urge to lash out and contact him or her. Also fight the temptation to get angry at yourself or at the situation. Just keep in mind that this does happen all the time and I’ve helped men and women from around the world get out of those situations.
If you want my help, again, head over to my website now and watch the video there which reveals 3 psychological loopholes you can use right now to make your ex come crawling back to you, even if they are with someone else. Make sure you watch it now before it gets taken down.